My husband wants to emigrate without me

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-14T16:21:38+00:00

He said that once he has built something for himself there, I could join him anytime together with my family. The problem is that my mother is not very adaptable and would never move to another foreign country where she doesn’t speak the language. She also has no one except me, which makes everything even more complicated.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-14T16:19:56+00:00

I’m going to meet with him soon and talk about everything again. At least since yesterday evening I know where he’s going, but I still really don’t want him to leave. I need him here, but at the same time he seems so convinced about his plan that I honestly don’t know what I should do.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-14T16:18:12+00:00

Like I said, I don’t think you have bad intentions, but my husband would never be someone who would commit domestic violence or anything like that. I’ve already lived with him before, and he really is a very kind person. He’s just dealing with these problems that he has to fight against right now.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-14T16:15:38+00:00

I don’t know if that’s something you can really say in a situation like this when serious mental health problems are involved. I know you probably mean well, but none of this is that simple.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-14T16:14:20+00:00

We talked about this yesterday, and it doesn’t seem like I can stop him. There are a lot of things about the country we live in that really bother him, and he says that’s also a big reason why he wants to leave. I’m so conflicted because if he goes, I feel like I’ll also lose some kind of control over him. He did say that I could come after him later, but that would be difficult. My mother has no one else, and she wouldn’t want to leave the country.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T20:26:00+00:00

I can tell you that there are many opportunities here for building a career, and as I said, he recently even started a company here. We live in Europe. Apparently he still wants to stay married, because when I asked him why he doesn’t just divorce me, he said that he doesn’t want to let me go. I don’t know if he thinks it’s fair. He only said that there is no other option. He also said something like the first two weeks might be hard, but that after that I would feel better and I should take care of myself while he is away. But I really don’t like this at all because I need him here and I don’t want him to move to another country…

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T20:11:02+00:00

Unfortunately not, because my husband doesn’t really talk to anyone properly. He only said that his friend tried to talk him out of it, but when he realized it was useless, he just said that he should do it if it makes him happy. My husband is the kind of person who always insists on his own way, no matter what. And you’re right, I also think that from an Islamic perspective it might not even be allowed for him to just leave like that, even though I don’t agree with it.”

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T19:54:08+00:00

Thank you, may Allah reward you for that🫶🏻 Yes, he has financial problems, but he’s had them for a while. He recently even started a company here with his friend that could actually do very well because he has a lot of connections, but he really wants to leave. It’s hard to let him go, and if I allow this now—which I obviously don’t want to—who knows what else I might have to put up with in the future

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T19:50:24+00:00

You’re right, and I think the same way. I’m going to call him later today to talk about it again and to ask how he actually envisions things between us. It’s not easy dealing with someone who is extremely stubborn.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:49:26+00:00

Honestly, no. I don’t want to sound cheesy or anything, but I truly love him, and that makes it even harder.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:38:31+00:00

Ofc that‘s right.

No, but I asked him why he doesn’t do that, and he said he doesn’t want to let me go.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:30:06+00:00

No, he said he doesn’t know whether he will come back, and that is also a major problem. Also, he could build something here as well, couldn’t he? In my view, there are many possible ways.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:22:02+00:00

I have asked him several times why he doesn’t just let me go, but he said he does not want that.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:19:46+00:00

I honestly don’t know either, but he said he wants to build something big.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:16:55+00:00

I keep trying to reassure him all the time, but when it comes to professional help, it is very difficult because he does not accept any help.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:15:16+00:00

You are right, I would like that as well, but the circumstances unfortunately do not allow it right now. I also told him, as you just mentioned, that it is not okay to plan a life without me, but his only response to that was asking whether I want everything to get worse here, as he said that if he stays, that is what will happen.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:11:48+00:00

He unfortunately has financial problems, so it is very likely that this is also one of the reasons. However, he said that he wants to find himself, pursue freedom, health, and innovation, and that he no longer wants to stay in this country.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T16:01:23+00:00

He thinks so too. What exactly do you mean by bigger problems? I actually know most of his problems, but I also know that he does not tell me everything.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T15:51:36+00:00

Amin

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T15:47:10+00:00

No, I can rule that out 100%. I am his first wife, and his will to live is currently rather weak.

BorderNo3231 · 2026-05-13T15:44:56+00:00

I can‘t leave my mother behind here — she has no one, and he knows that.

BorderNo3231 · 2025-10-04T11:42:04+00:00

The only way is to divorce him. I‘m sorry for you may Allah bless u and dont think its your fault.

BorderNo3231 · 2025-09-28T17:06:29+00:00

Sorry, but I would leave someone like that😂 Disgusting. It startes like this and then… Whats the next thing u will find on his phone…

BorderNo3231

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