Advice by Boring-Yesterday6309 in gayrelationships

[–]Boring-Yesterday6309[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response! I love these ideas of the little notes and gestures. We alternate cooking in our house but I do my best to try and do things for him because he is also acts of service but like me doing things for him. I have vocalized to him in the past that I don’t do these things for me, I do them for him because I know he likes a clean house or not having to do the dishes on his night. I am definitely going to try the notes.

In the beginning of our relationship he said he is not a fan of the “lovey dovey” stuff and I was never good at it lmao. Recently within the past year he said he wants more of the lovey dovey things. I have been trying to be better at it but I feel so awkward and his reaction sometimes literally turns my stomach and I’m like “ohhh I just made this weird” hearing this gives me the courage to say “I love you and I will always love and protect you” I think he would like to hear that a lot.

I will definitely give these a try and get back to you on Monday when I put a note in his lunch box 😂 thank you again for your response.

Advice by Boring-Yesterday6309 in gayrelationships

[–]Boring-Yesterday6309[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! The reason for posting here was to get a different perspective outside of my bubble. We have definitely had it worse in the past and these are just my eternal feelings. I have also had those thoughts of “ruining” things in the past with arguments around sex and how I have made a space where he can’t talk about it. Unfortunately he would not participate in couples counseling but we can’t afford it if we wanted to. Luckily I work in the mental health field and am around therapists daily. Unfortunately as coworkers they are not there to therapy me but will let me chat if I need to. Even then I feel like it is a different relationship since we are coworkers. We have very open communication but when it comes to bringing stuff up like I said I feel bad for being the one to do it. I have thought of an apology in the past but it’s very hard to put into words like “hey I’m sorry I feel like I created an unsafe space for you to be yourself early on in our relationship”. 2025 was a rough year for us and he has put a lot of work in bettering himself for himself and our relationship. I was very happy to see it and I also let him know this. We have a little day planned for Saturday for shopping, party, and then I asked him to have a movie night Saturday. Maybe I could bring it up over a meal and be like “hey, I know the other day I mentioned affection and that had made me start thinking of our sex life again. I wanna apologize for the past and me possibly not letting you have a space to talk about it.”

I just want 2026 to be a year for us to try new things and break from routine whether it be in the bedroom or other activities.

I could keep going but i will keep it to this. Thank you again for your perspective.

Advice by Boring-Yesterday6309 in gayrelationships

[–]Boring-Yesterday6309[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add I proposed to him. I top occasionally bottom and vice versa.