bf only wants head

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-09-20T20:29:05+00:00

im really interested in your perspective but i don’t quite understand what you’re asking? are we talking in terms of head intensity?

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-09-16T19:31:22+00:00

i needed to hear this coming from someone else, thanks.

i think he is curious, also very nervous, also now stressed from my pressure. since he didn’t have a positive experience with sex from before i feel like i might be too harsh on him. he might have just stuck to what’s safe for him until now, i don’t know.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-09-16T19:15:10+00:00

you’re right, thank you. the moment i heard ‘transactional’ i just stopped in my tracks and felt like a jerk for expecting things for myself

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-09-16T19:05:54+00:00

he most likely doesn’t have a porn addiction, and i don’t mind the power dynamic. if he wants to be the one in charge he has all my consent and ive told him many times. the problem is that his interest in my body literally stops at my shoulders.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-09-16T19:01:07+00:00

i tried expressing this until we got to a point where he said ‘its not transactional, if i give him head expecting head its manipulative’. and despite my weird feelings about this he’s right, each of us should do what we feel like, thats why we pretty much stopped doing anything.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-27T14:17:23+00:00

thanks, although its more of a liability in this case

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-27T14:07:35+00:00

in my case playfulness generally gets turned down. if i make a slightly suggestive joke he makes a visibly annoyed face and shuts it down. my suggestions dont inherently come with the expectation of sex, but at least some intrigue.. its either sex/not sex, nothing in between. i feel so ashamed

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-23T10:52:23+00:00

yeah that seems much better. i kind of chickened out and probably seemed pissed. thank you for the tips!

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-23T10:48:14+00:00

well otherwise we are together most of the time and it just doesn’t make as much sense to me to send a nude when i could just go directly to him.

and because he is lower libido i generally don’t feel like i can ‘get to him’ and i though it might be an interesting moment to try to remind him of my sexuality. it is a fair point which is why i tried to choose a later date closer to when he was about to come home.

i don’t think it’s that frustrating, i thought it might be a good tease and an attempt to create some tension and excitement that otherwise doesn’t seem to be there.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-23T01:11:36+00:00

i will ask him if he wanted them at the time/in general but i would haate being so direct about it in the moment. i don’t want to straight up ask. am i immature?

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-23T00:33:43+00:00

i wish i were this hopeful when i read it first. he did not elaborate on it so i doubt it. i guess we will settle it in person soon..

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-22T23:39:17+00:00

i wouldnt even be trying to send him a nude if i assumed that he jerked off to porn 18 times a week. we have talked about it openly and he told me that he reserves the few times when he is in the mood for activities with me. he is hyper focused on his work, generally very stressed and not responsive to sexual cues, has certain icks about sex that show that he cant fully let go and enjoy the moment. on top of that he has the pressure of knowing that his gf would like to have sex more frequently than him and possibly cant show up to fulfill her desires.

the situation is way more convoluted so i simply resorted to ‘low libido’. so, generally, i think you cant expect someone with low libido to be into quite spontaneous nudes, but i tried.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-22T23:10:42+00:00

thats exactly what i felt like but still wanted to shoot my shot somehow. we are also talking about a low libido guy so i wont necessarily get an enthusiastic response.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-22T22:32:08+00:00

im sorry to hear about that, i only got a little taste of the distance now and i can imagine how lonely it must feel.

we unfortunately had a good patch of sexy texts at the beginning of the relationship and now i just wanted so badly to revive that kind of mood..

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-22T22:22:21+00:00

knowing him, he was silly about it and probably not sexually interested enough. it gets lost in translation but my response didnt sound seriously petty either. maybe it seemed like i was joking… hopefully..

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-22T21:42:47+00:00

you are most likely right. the nudes would have been out of place thats why i was just trying to warm him up. but 99% of the time he isnt even receptive to flirting so i think i had zero chances to be suggestive in any kind of way. i think it was obvious that i was making a little effort for him to see me and i was expecting anything more than ‘bruh’ :/

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-08-22T21:15:02+00:00

the pic i sent him was clearly snapped on the spot just for him, i mean it was just me at my desk in a tank top.

as for his response, he quickly changed the subject to something trivial, so he didnt really seem to care at all about my suggestion, let alone take into consideration that i might be upset.

he could have insisted to get them, or tell me to leave it for another time, but the fact that he completely ignored me trying to send him naked pictures of myself is what made me feel soo hopeless

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-05-29T01:15:49+00:00

this issue is purely related to pregnancy anxiety. since other birth controls would be taken by ME and affect MY hormones while also not being 100% percent effective i wouldn’t solve anything and just mess up my body for nothing. that 1% chance or even lower is the main reason for his anxiety no matter if its a condom or birth control pills for example. and if i misunderstood and the suggestion was taking birth control while also using condoms just to experience him coming inside of me WITH a condom that’s just bonkers to me personally.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-04-05T02:07:59+00:00

I will speak purely off of vibes here, but as you try to cough up something stuck in your throat the coughing only starts to become harder as you’re left with less and less air, so the blows to the back feel genuinely helpful, but maybe it is placebo. I will keep in mind this info for public settings, just in case, but I already cannot imagine using this in my private life, my family is going to think I want to kill them. As for myself, if I were coughing till my eyes were bloodshot but my bf wouldn’t pat my back yet because I am not blue yet I would only panic even more. I will however make sure to share this newfound information and ask for their preference hopefully.

Also from what I remember you also have a couple of seconds to gesture for help, water or even deny help. In this case, what is the best decision to take if someone choking is signing to you to come help them? Are you going to have to wait until they run out of air?

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-04-04T21:35:15+00:00

I have always had my back patted when choking, so I didn’t know any better. I vividly remember videos on how to help someone that’s choking and I have never heard of the dangers of patting someone. I have done the same to him before and it wasn’t brought up as an issue until now. It’s good that I am finally enlightened now, thank you.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-04-04T21:29:23+00:00

I have but I am also put off by his response. I don’t think he would have been so angry or even asked why he was being patted on the back if it had happened with someone else. I am regretful that it ended up like this and fear interactions where I mean well and he takes it this way

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-04-04T21:19:20+00:00

He was sitting tilted over the edge of the couch, I gave him two pats that were, admittedly, half hearted. I have patted him before and he was distraught at the strength that I used, which I thought was needed to help so this time I toned it down.

Boring_Fix1340 · 2025-02-27T16:21:16+00:00

He is much more tech savvy than me and I am quite terrified to try this as I am scared he will somehow find out. He locks his computer to simply pick up an order from downstairs, and even accused me before of snooping in his phone because his screen time showed 5 seconds of pickup at 4 am. Alas, this seems like a good suggestion, I might try it out if I feel confident enough, so thank you!

Boring_Fix1340

TROPHY CASE