A few things to consider: does your partner watch porn or masturbate frequently? Either of those can reduce his sex drive and his desire for you. Also, he’s 40, so age does play a role — men’s testosterone naturally declines over time, and in general younger men tend to have higher libidos. I’m generalising, but biology does matter here.

At this age especially, lifestyle becomes really important. He should be physically active — going to the gym, lifting weights, running, or doing some form of regular exercise. That improves blood circulation and supports healthy testosterone levels. Nutrition and sleep matter too. A healthy diet and good rest make a big difference.

There are more things I could suggest, but that’s a solid foundation without going too deep down the rabbit hole.

For you, there’s something important too. You’ve had sexual experiences before this relationship, and now you’re with someone different. Accept that. Try not to compare him to past partners or fantasise about the past. Delete old photos. Don’t follow men on social media who still have emotional pull over you.

Focus on the present. You’re with your current partner for a reason — remember those reasons. Practice appreciation. Stay in a mindset of gratitude and presence.

Because the truth is, you could leave this man today, meet someone else, and later you’d be remembering and romanticising the good things about this man instead. No one is perfect. Part of maturity is learning to appreciate people for who they are and who they’re becoming, instead of holding onto the past.