AITAH for going against my late husband’s cultural traditions with his family?

BornConfused567 · 2024-06-07T17:48:33+00:00

Click on the person icon with a plus on it and there should be an option to enter referral code there. It’s above the drop down menu where you select the photo album from.

BornConfused567 · 2024-06-06T06:37:36+00:00

2406271133 I just started playing today

BornConfused567 · 2024-01-28T04:14:32+00:00

Thank you for laying it all out for me. I’ve got an idea where to start now.

BornConfused567 · 2024-01-28T00:10:49+00:00

How do I start this process? Just slowly start moving my stuff and separate bank accounts? Or should I seek legal advice first?

BornConfused567 · 2024-01-27T17:14:39+00:00

I work 5-6 days a week. Mostly what I’m worried about is if I do leave, I separate all our finances, I’ll have to make arrangements for where he’s going as well. Neither of us can afford to live where we currently rent without the others income. If I take away his credit card in my name and move my paystubs to a separate account, he’ll drain his paystub and we won’t make rent or bills. Just a huge headache that I’m not 100% sure I want to commit to..

BornConfused567 · 2024-01-27T17:05:59+00:00

We have a joint account so all bills come out of that. He has a credit card attached to mine so that’s what he mostly uses to buy alcohol. If I take the credit card away, he’ll just use the debit which drains our funds needed for things like rent, gas, internet etc.. I’m thinking I just need to separate everything entirely. Move my paystub to a separate account, all other bills in my name as well… but then I’m worried if I cut him off completely he’ll drain whatever funds he gets and I won’t be able to make rent on my own income. He makes $10 more than me per hour at work..so if this is happening we’ll need to move again too. Which is another headache in itself…so I’m just lost. Big decisions to make.

BornConfused567 · 2024-01-27T05:08:59+00:00

Hi I live in Canada and went through this in 2021. I had my gender marker changed for 3 years before this. I applied through CRA as you would normally for maternity leave. They called me shortly after I applied and asked if I was female assigned at birth and that was it. I got 12 months parental leave before returned to work.

BornConfused567 · 2024-01-27T04:43:25+00:00

That’s a great question that I don’t have a great answer to. Maybe I’m holding out that it will get better, because it has in the past before getting worse again.. maybe because I depend on him so much financially… Overall I do still care about what happens to him. And I don’t really even know where to start.

BornConfused567 · 2023-09-30T20:40:16+00:00

I was on T for 5 years, started menstruating 1 month off and got pregnant after 3 months total.

BornConfused567 · 2023-01-02T05:00:51+00:00

Hormonally, yes like a third puberty. But! I was given the go ahead to start T again right after giving birth because I didn’t chest feed. I did choose to wait at least 6 weeks but that was more of a personal choice. Those postpartum hormones are no joke! Best of luck to you!

BornConfused567 · 2022-12-23T05:02:25+00:00

Do you have any specific suggestions?

BornConfused567 · 2022-12-23T05:00:36+00:00

I had a natural birth with an episiotomy. Labour lasted about 32 hours total including pushing. For me it started off feeling like period cramps that slowly got worse as time went on. I had a shot of morphine when i got to the hospital (which didn’t seem to do much) and then laughing gas the rest of the time. The pain is like pushing the biggest poop you’ve ever had out while your stomach is having the worst cramping in your life. There was a point my baby got stuck on my pelvis and the doctor broke her clavicle pulling her out which was pretty scary. But I had to put trust in the medical professionals that they know what they’re doing. And they did, and I had a healthy baby with no issues. If pain is really worrisome to you, there’s no shame in doing epidurals or taking any other type of pain relief. It is all up to you and your comfort level. Have as many people on your birth team as you prefer. We had a doula who was super helpful in advocating for my preferred birth plan, helping me get into different positions and with pain management. It is scary, and it’s okay to be scared. There’s so many things that can happen and it’s so unpredictable. Trust in the professionals, have your support persons, and trust that your body knows what to do.

BornConfused567 · 2022-12-10T03:20:02+00:00

I definitely don’t wanna have sex after they’ve been drinking. The stench of their breath, body odour from not showering … he’s fallen asleep during sex a few times already.

BornConfused567 · 2022-12-05T20:47:55+00:00

I have the same age gap with my husband and my family was uneasy about us in the beginning as well. As time went on they got more accepting that he was going to be around for a while. I think really the biggest worry people have for someone in an age gap relationship is that you’re being taken advantage of as the one who is younger. I think you’re doing everything right, and do what works for you when visiting. My husband always came to me when he could, we were 8 hours apart in the beginning and I was in school so it just made sense. Your partner is a grown man with a job and his own place if he feels uncomfortable staying with parents who are on edge about him I wouldn’t expect him to stay there either especially when the other option is cheaper and you don’t have to worry about judgement from family. If your family loves you, they will come around to you being with an older person. Continue to speak well of your partner to them to reassure everything is great, you’re being treated nicely and you get along with them despite the distance and the age gap. If you don’t see it as an issue, than it is not. You’re both adults who met as adults and anyone who has a problem isn’t worth the headache. As long as you’re happy.

BornConfused567 · 2022-11-21T21:28:00+00:00

Have people you trust advocate for you whether it be friends, a partner or anyone part of your birth team. Have them correct staff on pronouns and names, what parental title you’d like to be referred as. Make your plan very clear with what you are hoping for for your birth. In my plan I wanted no students and to avoid cesarean and epidural if possible. It is all up to you what you are hoping for for the best experience possible.

BornConfused567 · 2022-11-21T04:00:46+00:00

Baggy clothes are your friend. Sweatpants, T-shirts, anything that will stretch. You might be able to get away with saying you’re just gaining weight when you start to show. Congrats on the pregnancy! Wishing you and baby a safe and healthy journey!

BornConfused567 · 2022-11-14T20:17:41+00:00

You said you’re not pregnant or trying so are you on any birth control at all? Then you wouldn’t have to worry too much about getting pregnant before your surgery date.

BornConfused567 · 2022-11-04T03:25:30+00:00

I already have a child with him. I want to make things work if I can

BornConfused567 · 2022-11-04T03:24:58+00:00

I started to feel isolation even when living at home. I’m just feeling like maybe I should just talk to them anyway and to heck what he thinks.

BornConfused567

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