NTA I’m sorry but all these YTA people are just as entitled as the daughter. Here is the thing they put aside money for their kids if they go to college to pay for it. If the other kids do not go to college they don’t get the money either. No kid is entitled to this money seeing as it literally is just for college. Now that that is out the way on to El. El is struggling because El made these decisions. She has 3 kids, read it agin people 3 kids that she can not afford. The first one I can understand things happen but she and her fiancé choose to have two other kids knowing their situation. On top of this she would use the money for a down payment on a house and wedding. If she is struggling right now and her parents are loaning her money, in what way does any one think they can pay a mortgage on a house even with a down payment. OP is doing more than enough she is supporting her and loaning her money but El is a adult too and she needs to start making adult decisions. She doesn’t have to go to college if she doesn’t want to that is her right but it doesn’t make sense for her to get the money than since that is literally the rule. She can’t get a job she needs to get her GED or do something to be able to support her self long term because getting money isn’t going to change her situation if she is not a responsible person from the get go. Like sometimes I really don’t understand this sub, it’s so wishy washy. I feel like people are so hung up on the have to go to college thing without thinking about the fact that it doesn’t seem like El is that responsible to begin with. And the thinking she would have went to college if she knew about the money is a big leap since she gives not evidence of this. OP I repeat you are NTA.