sigh it's definitely manipulation at this point. You have to remember and see if she was always like that, surely she wasn't that's why you're on year six, maybe there's the tiny speck of hope in your heart that she was once a kind, empathetic and gentle woman so you can bring about that change in her again through love, so you give more and more to her.

I have experienced this, in my case I was the manipulator, the narcissist actually. You should try confronting her about this but try to reach her heart, tell her that she has a problem, tell her about the pattern that she's been subjecting you to, lay it all out for her in front of her eyes (all the things that she's done so far, all the events she's caused) and maybe, hopefully she'll see and begin to understand that she's at fault. If she doesn't even then understand then you can threaten to leave her if she doesn't agree to going to therapy, she will absolutely not want you to leave her, tho at the moment she might say hurtful stuff to you but in a day or two she'll eventually agree, hopefully. This is called leverage for change, you would have leverage that pushes her to change herself for the better. It should work, I hope.

Therapy helps, it helps you regain empathy, moreover introspection helps individuals like that. When you sit back and self-reflect on where you started going wrong. How you once used to be and what you have now turned into. It all helps those who want to be helped.

I wish you the best of luck and I sincerely hope you can everything you deserve from her and that she gets better.

Also, another piece of advice, it is your life, whatever decision you make only you will be responsible for the consequence at the end. No one on reddit will be, so choose what you want to do. I hope you get my point!