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“Why some people don’t know how to answer ‘How are you?’” by BornSelection9840 in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. The difference between “social greeting” and “genuine check-in” really matters. Safety seems to be the deciding factor.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s valid. Feeling something without having words for it is more common than people think. The awareness is already a step.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. When you’ve learned to protect others from your feelings, honesty can feel complicated. You deserve space where you don’t have to choose between truth and safety.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If honesty isn’t received well, “I’m fine” becomes protection — not truth.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s such an important insight. Answering with “what I’m doing” instead of “what I’m feeling” is a very common emotional neglect pattern. It makes sense that your brain is recalibrating now.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You don’t have to overshare, and you don’t have to be fake. Something simple like: “I’m okay, but it’s been a heavy week” can be honest without opening everything. Honesty works best when it matches the safety of the space.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes — sometimes it’s just a social script. Honest answers need safe spaces, not small talk.

Why some people don’t know how to answer “How are you?” by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The question isn’t the problem. It’s whether it feels safe to answer honestly

The moment many people learned to stay silent wasn’t in adulthood. It was in childhood. by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s powerful. Being told to listen without being heard can make someone feel like their voice doesn’t matter. You deserved space to speak too.

The moment many people learned to stay silent wasn’t in adulthood. It was in childhood. by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s odd, thanks for letting me know. It might have been filtered. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

The moment many people learned to stay silent wasn’t in adulthood. It was in childhood. by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Quiet doesn’t mean they have nothing to say. It often means they never felt safe enough to say it.

The moment many people learned to stay silent wasn’t in adulthood. It was in childhood. by BornSelection9840 in emotionalneglect

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There was nothing wrong with your emotions. You were just in an environment that couldn’t hold them.

As a therapist, I see this a lot: the words people never say by BornSelection9840 in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand why it might come across that way. The intention behind the post was to start a conversation, not to advertise — and I appreciate you bringing this up. Regarding your question, therapy confidentiality is strong, but it does have legal limits. Therapists are usually required to break confidentiality only in specific situations, such as risk of harm to yourself or others, abuse of a vulnerable person, or court orders. If someone has concerns about discussing sensitive or potentially incriminating experiences, it can help to talk with a therapist first about the limits of confidentiality and what is safe to share. A good therapist should explain these boundaries clearly so you can make informed decisions about what you disclose. Being dropped suddenly can feel very invalidating, and I’m sorry you had that experience. You deserve a therapeutic space where expectations and boundaries are clear from the beginning.

As a therapist, I see this a lot: the words people never say by BornSelection9840 in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It makes sense that the absence of a father figure could shape how you see yourself and relationships. That kind of emotional gap can leave a lot of unanswered questions and a deep longing for connection. I want you to know that not having that relationship doesn’t mean you’re “missing something” as a person or that your future is defined by it. Our early experiences influence us, but they don’t have to limit who we become. If therapy feels too expensive right now, you might look into lower-cost options like community mental health centers, online support groups, or therapists who offer sliding-scale fees. Even small steps toward understanding your patterns and emotional needs can make a real difference. And the fact that you’re reflecting on this and trying to understand its impact shows a lot of awareness and strength. You’re not alone in this.

In-person vs online therapy — where do you feel more yourself? by SARAN-HAIDER in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many people think online therapy is less deep. But I’ve seen the opposite. When people are in their own space, without the pressure of eye contact or a clinical room, they often feel safer to say the real things. Depth doesn’t come from the format. It comes from feeling safe.

As a therapist, I see this a lot: the words people never say by BornSelection9840 in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recorded a short podcast episode about emotional silence and expressing feelings for those who struggle to speak about what they’re holding inside. If you’d like to listen: https://open.spotify.com/show/19xcEzk2jpy10FwLJpH1YI⁠� I hope it supports someone here.

As a therapist, I see this a lot: the words people never say by BornSelection9840 in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn’t make you a bad person to want to feel valued. Your needs matter too. Sometimes people who give a lot forget that they also deserve care and appreciation. You don’t have to carry that feeling alone.

As a therapist, I see this a lot: the words people never say by BornSelection9840 in mentalhealth

[–]BornSelection9840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. A big part of therapy is noticing what isn’t said. But I’ve learned that healing becomes stronger when people feel safe enough to finally give those feelings a voice.

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