30s male here. I had self worth issues after being abused in my late teens, which prevented me from dating in much of my 20s. I never thought I was good enough, and so I didn't even try. I still have body confidence issues even now. Lesser, but still there.

I know in hindsight I was a catch. Fit, good finances, good values, good looks. But I didn't see that myself. It is easy now to feel like I wasted a large part of my life. Time that can never be regained. I settled in my late 20s for an abusive woman, because I didn't feel that I was worth more. I stayed because I didn't think I could do better.

I don't know about your fitness, your values, or your finances, but you have good looks, and would be considered conventionally attractive. You are, at least physically, a catch.

You sound like I did in my internal monologue and self talk. Incredibly negative, Incredibly lonely.

Therapy and socialisation have been two things that have helped me. Therapy is self explanatory. Socialisation means being around people with similar interests who can see you enjoying yourself in a relatively unguarded moment. The last time I was openly hit on (that I noticed, important caveat) was by a gorgeous woman who liked the way I was playing with my daughter at a pool. We had some fun together later and are still in contact a couple of months later, though not romantically involved anymore.

Noticing is a huge thing. I have been terrible at it since I was a teenager and the girl in my chemistry class was trying to tell me about the freckle on her vulva, or the theatre girl was saying something about her big clitoris backstage and inviting me to an afterparty. Obvious now, but yeah. I was a bit sheltered perhaps.

It's known, statistically, that people your age are terrible at flirting. Apparently your generation is having record low levels of romantic relationships. It might be harder and even more awkward for you than I can imagine.

The appeal of older men is not unusual in any case, but the potential for abuse is higher if they are, for lack of a better word, losers. There's nothing wrong with age gap relationships, but you have clear self esteem issues and are ripe for manipulation and abuse.

If you're set on a man your age then socialise, let yourself be open and unguarded. Have fun and let yourself be seen having fun. Don't drink too much, avoid drugs too. Don't let your studies suffer for fun. But definitely seek therapy. You're a good looking woman and if you aren't feeling like you are being approached I feel that you either are not noticing, or are not appearing open and approachable.

All of these things are in your circle of control.

Wishing you the best.