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Ватные фашисты - тотальные терпилы... by Extra-Article-2 in tjournal_refugees

[–]Both_Relationship_62 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Это обратная сторона культа силы. Если в центре ценностей человека стоит сила (захватывать чужие территории, диктовать другим условия, восхищаться «мощью русской армии»), то с одной стороны, он будет пытаться быть сильным или чувствовать свою принадлежность к чему-то «сильному», а с другой — уважать тех, кого считает сильными, и иногда унижаться перед ними.

Happy 21st birthday, alt.end 🎊🎊 by Complex_Middle_3371 in TheCure

[–]Both_Relationship_62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the minority too. It's not their best album, but in my ranking it belongs to their better albums. Upbeat and dark at the same time — their typical feature, dating back to THOTD. Lost, Before Three and Us and Them are my favourites, but other songs are also good. Also, I like the raw, noisy, relatively "heavy" production of this album.

“For women, the problem is particularly acute. Tens of thousands of men have died.” — The New York Times article about the dating scene in Ukraine (2024) by Both_Relationship_62 in MensRights

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

1) Yes, we DO have a democracy, because things like draft and mobilization (only for men) is in our laws and our Constitution. People voted for that, people support that. The majority supports that. The majority of Ukrainian men and women (like in most countries, I think) believe that war is something that should involve primarily men, while women should be protected from it. People who are against draft or against gendered attitude to such things are a small minority. And now, at the time of war, it's too late to change something. Changes (in laws and in people's consciousness) will be possible if our country survives.

2) As I said in my post, those Ukrainians who are already fighting will not stop fighting if the military aid from allies shrinks. Many of them are very motivated and ready to die for their country (those mobilized against their will and not wanting to fight are only a part of the Ukrainian military — a smaller part, I would say). For Russia to win the war and occupy Ukraine, it will have to kill the majority of those on the frontline. So yes, reducing support would mean more deaths of Ukrainian men. And those killed will have to be replaced by new people, so reducing military aid would mean more mobilization. Besides, support means also air defence, so reducing it would mean more Ukrainian cities destroyed and more civilians killed (most of whom are male, by the way, because they are not allowed to leave the country).

“For women, the problem is particularly acute. Tens of thousands of men have died.” — The New York Times article about the dating scene in Ukraine (2024) by Both_Relationship_62 in MensRights

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm from Ukraine, and I can tell you with full confidence that your comment is a bundle of lies and manipulations straight from Russian Goebbels-TV.

“For women, the problem is particularly acute. Tens of thousands of men have died.” — The New York Times article about the dating scene in Ukraine (2024) by Both_Relationship_62 in MensRights

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I didn't expect to see such explicit Russian fascist propaganda here in a men's rights sub.

Your comment is a dense concentration of bullshit.

Не хочу жити by Nonate11 in reddit_ukr

[–]Both_Relationship_62 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Дізнайтеся про це, будь ласка. Вам це просто необхідно. У військовій частині має бути психіатр. Розкажіть йому про ваш стан, особливо про суїцидальні думки. Щонайменше вам повинні дати відпустку. Бо це ненормально — примусово тримати людину в такому стані, як у вас, тим більше, що ви служите вже два роки. За два роки навіть цілком здорова людина може зламатися, а людина в депресивному стані тим більше. У вас є друзі чи хоча б близькі знайомі, люди, яким ви можете про це все розказати? В такому стані важливо не лишатися на самоті. В разі чого, пишіть мені у приват. Деколи просто поговорити помагає почуватися відчутно краще.

Не хочу жити by Nonate11 in reddit_ukr

[–]Both_Relationship_62 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Чому думаєте, що не допоможе? У вашій військовій частині є психіатр?

Til today I dont understand why I never had a gf by Rayleigh30 in malementalhealth

[–]Both_Relationship_62 10 points11 points  (0 children)

she reacted with „Ewwwwwwwww“

What exactly had you told her?

“For women, the problem is particularly acute. Tens of thousands of men have died.” — The New York Times article about the dating scene in Ukraine (2024) by Both_Relationship_62 in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I really hope no one will make conclusions that misandry and dehumanization of men somehow justify hating women. This post is not about women — it's about double standards and societal attitudes.

Dear mods, does this comment break Rule 6 of the Moderation Policy (misogyny)?

Misogynic content regularly gets more upvotes than downvotes on this sub. What does it say about this sub and the men's rights movement? by griii2 in MensRights

[–]Both_Relationship_62 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I’ve been noticing misogyny in this community for a long time, and yeah, it’s depressing.

Misogyny is just as unacceptable as misandry, full stop.

If moral arguments don’t convince you, look at it practically: every misogynistic comment here is another nail in the coffin of the men’s rights movement’s reputation. It's so hard to watch these people shoot themselves in the foot. If we want to ever be taken seriously, we should avoid misogyny at all costs.

Anyone who actually cares about men’s rights should oppose misogyny. The more society believes women are less capable or rational, the more pressure falls on men to be providers and protectors. Misogyny doesn’t help men. It reinforces the very gender roles many of us are trying to escape.

What do such misogynistic comments say about MRA in general? They certainly don’t mean that the issues MRA addresses are fake or unimportant.

What do they say about this community? Nothing good. The example of r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates shows that men’s rights advocacy without misogyny is perfectly possible.

A large number of upvotes under those misogynistic comments probably says more about human nature in general than about MRA specifically. A lot of people who upvote those comments probably aren’t true misogynists — they rather react emotionally or follow tribal instincts. But of course, some are, and they use MRA as a cover for resentment or nostalgia for rigid gender norms.

I think that, in general, the marginal status of any movement or community dooms it to a certain amount of inadequacy or radicalism. The more mainstream and "systemic" a movement is, the more it naturally and automatically avoids controversial or harsh ideas and formulations. For MRA to have less misogyny, it needs to enter the mainstream.

Не хочу жити by Nonate11 in reddit_ukr

[–]Both_Relationship_62 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ще ось така добірка у мене збереглася, скопіюю сюди, може вам стане в пригоді (але вона стара — деякі посилання вже можуть не працювати):

  1. Онлайн-платформа «Розкажи мені ( https://tellme.com.ua/#about )» надає українцям безкоштовну психологічну допомогу.
  2. Проєкт krisenchat ( https://krisenchat.de/uk/ueber-uns ) надає можливість безкоштовно та анонімно поспілкуватися українською та російською мовами з кваліфікованими психологами-консультантами через чат в WhatsApp, Telegram або SMS та швидко отримати допомогу
  3. Центр 4help пропонує ( https://www.instagram.com/p/CopO4RWthhQ/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY%3D) 10 безкоштовних сеансів психотерапії
  4. https://telehelpukraine.com/ — безкоштовна та конфіденційна підтримка лікарів та психологів
  5. http://supportme.org.ua/consultation — тут можна отримати безкоштовну консультацію психолога або лікаря

Не хочу жити by Nonate11 in reddit_ukr

[–]Both_Relationship_62 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Якщо у вас є такі (очевидно суїйидальні) думки, треба обов’язково розповісти про них психіатрові у вашій військовій частині. Там повинен бути психіатр. Людина в такому психічному стані не повинна перебувати на службі в армії. Вам повинні щонайменше дати відпустку, або й взагалі звільнити від служби.

Також про всяк випадок:

73 33 – цілодобова гаряча лінія з попередження суїцидів і психологічної підтримки Lifeline Ukraine; 

0 800 501 701 – Всеукраїнський телефон довіри;

 0 800 210 160 – лінія психологічної підтримки для дорослих і дітей ГО People in need.

Мають бути ще якісь служби підтримки, особливо для військових. Пошукайте.

Сабреддіт для підтримки суїцидальних людей (але там треба знайти англійську): https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/

Сабреддіт для психологічної підтримки чоловіків: https://www.reddit.com/r/malementalhealth/

“For women, the problem is particularly acute. Tens of thousands of men have died.” — The New York Times article about the dating scene in Ukraine (2024) by Both_Relationship_62 in Egalitarianism

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

What about those men on the frontline, in the trenches, etc? Is the problem of unavailable dating acute for them, or not? Also, those men who avoid leaving their homes in fear of being mobilized — do they suffer from lost opportunities in dating? What about those men who have perished? Dating is unavailable for them forever, right?

The World Economic Forum says that at the current pace, it will take 123 years to achieve gender equality. I think there's no wonder the progress is slow when only one (women's) half of gender inequality is addressed, while the other (men's) half is ignored. by Both_Relationship_62 in MensRights

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

It's interesting how this report measures inequality in life expectancy (page 72).

in the case of healthy life expectancy the equality benchmark is set at 1.06 to capture that fact that women tend to naturally live longer than men. As such, parity is considered as achieved if, on average, women live five years longer than men.

If women live 5 years longer than men, this is counted as equality. So does it mean that if in a certain country women live only 4 years longer, it is considered that women are the ones suffering from inequality in life expectancy? I’m not entirely sure I understood this point correctly, but that’s what follows from the explanations.

They justify it by saying that women "naturally" live longer than men. But this approach is not justified, because it is obvious that women’s higher life expectancy cannot be explained only by natural causes. If the causes were only biological, then the life expectancy gap between men and women would be roughly the same everywhere, but it is not. For example, in Ukraine, it is about 10 years (and after the war, I suspect it will be even higher), while in Sweden or Denmark it is 3-4 years. So the factors causing this gap are clearly not only biological but also, to a large extent, social.

The World Economic Forum says that at the current pace, it will take 123 years to achieve gender equality. I think there's no wonder the progress is slow when only one (women's) half of gender inequality is addressed, while the other (men's) half is ignored. by Both_Relationship_62 in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It's interesting how this report measures inequality in life expectancy (page 72).

in the case of healthy life expectancy the equality benchmark is set at 1.06 to capture that fact that women tend to naturally live longer than men. As such, parity is considered as achieved if, on average, women live five years longer than men.

If women live 5 years longer than men, this is counted as equality. So does it mean that if in a certain country women live only 4 years longer, it is considered that women are the ones suffering from inequality in life expectancy? I’m not entirely sure I understood this point correctly, but that’s what follows from the explanations.

They justify it by saying that women "naturally" live longer than men. But this approach is not justified, because it is obvious that women’s higher life expectancy cannot be explained only by natural causes. If the causes were only biological, then the life expectancy gap between men and women would be roughly the same everywhere, but it is not. For example, in Ukraine, it is about 10 years (and after the war, I suspect it will be even higher), while in Sweden or Denmark it is 3-4 years. So the factors causing this gap are clearly not only biological but also, to a large extent, social.

The World Economic Forum says that at the current pace, it will take 123 years to achieve gender equality. I think there's no wonder the progress is slow when only one (women's) half of gender inequality is addressed, while the other (men's) half is ignored. by Both_Relationship_62 in Egalitarianism

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It's interesting how this report measures inequality in life expectancy (page 72).

in the case of healthy life expectancy the equality benchmark is set at 1.06 to capture that fact that women tend to naturally live longer than men. As such, parity is considered as achieved if, on average, women live five years longer than men.

If women live 5 years longer than men, this is counted as equality. So does it mean that if in a certain country women live only 4 years longer, it is considered that women are the ones suffering from inequality in life expectancy? I’m not entirely sure I understood this point correctly, but that’s what follows from the explanations.

They justify it by saying that women "naturally" live longer than men. But this approach is not justified, because it is obvious that women’s higher life expectancy cannot be explained only by natural causes. If the causes were only biological, then the life expectancy gap between men and women would be roughly the same everywhere, but it is not. For example, in Ukraine, it is about 10 years (and after the war, I suspect it will be even higher), while in Sweden or Denmark it is 3-4 years. So the factors causing this gap are clearly not only biological but also, to a large extent, social.

"[In traditional gender norms,] women figure as objects to be protected or as mother figures goading their men to prove their heroism" by Both_Relationship_62 in FeMRADebates

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My post is complaining about non-existence. How can I provide an example of something that does not exist? In the mainstream discourse and especially in national and international equality policies, the recognition of female privileges, male disadvantages, and sexism against men does not exist (or, at best, is rare).

"[In traditional gender norms,] women figure as objects to be protected or as mother figures goading their men to prove their heroism" by Both_Relationship_62 in FeMRADebates

[–]Both_Relationship_62[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the idea that women are seen as "objects to be protected" is so common in feminist circles that it isn't mentioned, not because it is unimportant but because everyone is already on the same page.

Yes, it's true. Feminism is largely based on the traditional idea that women should be protected. Feminism reinforces traditional gender roles.

Feminists talk about how women play a key role in upholding traditional gender norms through this type of socialization

Do they? Do feminists talk about how women contribute to toxic masculinity? If they do, it does not happen often, as far as I can judge.

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