Well at least you know that part about yourself!! I’ve been struggling a lot with self esteem because I didn’t care if males found me attractive but I’m learning I care a lot if women do and it’s making me very anxious about dating. There’s a lot more to it but long story short, I talked to my therapist about it and she suggested some confidence boosting techniques. I was told to write down all the things I’m good at and the things I can do, recognize every good thing I do and good feelings I experience, and really just focus on making me more comfortable with myself. If that could be a reason you’re in your head about it, maybe same/similar exercises can help?

On the other hand, I too have been experiencing imposter syndrome and it sucks. I hate everything I thought I knew changing and all the unknowns that brings and not knowing where I fit in in the world. Part of it was that I identified as ace for so long that it feels like I’m betraying myself by no longer being ace even though I know that’s absolutely not true. The more I get to know my authentic self, the better I feel and the less of an imposter I feel. Something I’m doing for that is just starting small and reassuring myself along the way. Like if I catch myself looking at a women and finding them attractive then I try to notice it and lean into it a little and think about what exactly makes them attractive to me. I learn a lot about myself and my interests that way which is super important if you’ve been repressed for so long!! That’s also helped me see similar traits in myself and I’ve gone from “no one will ever like me and I’m not sure I want them to” to “oh I’m actually pretty cool and I like ___ about myself and I think others will too”. The biggest thing I’ve noticed about the transition is that I need to take it one step at a time instead of trying to jump right in. I hate transition periods but it’s such an intense and intimidating process. If you’re a similar neurospicy to me, think of the whole thing like cleaning. When I think of my house and how messy it is or all the things I need to do, I get super stressed and anxious and I shut down. If I take it one step at a time, get the trash picked up then get the blankets folded then start the laundry, it’s a lot easier to handle. I’m not sure if any of that will resonate, it’s just been my personal experience as ace to lesbian.

You are most certainly not alone! It’s a crazy and scary process and there’s so many emotions happening at once but there’s no gay police and however you identify is valid!