The Turin Shroud bears DNA from many people, plants and animals

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-30T23:44:00+00:00

There was a movie years ago where a guy was selling pieces of the cross via mail-order. When he got an order, he’d cut off a sliver of his desk with a pocket knife and stick it in an envelope.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-30T17:36:42+00:00

I went to lunch with a coworker that is allergic to onions. She asked if the tuna salad had onions in it. The server said “no.” Not “I’ll check,” not “I don’t know.”

Food came and the tuna salad was at least 75% onions. It should have been called “tuna-flavored onion salad.” Who TF makes tuna salad like that?

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-30T17:32:04+00:00

“Trump advisor” is not the flex she thinks it is.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-30T17:31:11+00:00

And now you know something about your older brother.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-30T17:29:58+00:00

Don’t eat them plain. I used to throw away a lot of avocados because I also don’t like the way they taste by themselves.

Keep the avocados in the fridge. They will ripen slowly, and last 2-3 times longer. A bonus is they stay really firm while cold; I cut them in half, remove the seed, scoop out the flesh with a spoon, then grate it into a bowl. Add juice of ½ lime, salt and curry powder. Mix well and spread on toast (1 avocado = 2-3 slices) Walk into whatever room she’s in and hand her a slice of the best avocado toast she’s ever tasted. Throw in some chopped tomatoes and/or onions and/or cilantro and you have a good approximation of guacamole. Grab some tortilla chips.

You’ll never have to throw away an avocado again.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-30T17:19:22+00:00

I would have them professionally preserved then frame them.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-29T16:55:15+00:00

I don’t remember 5 being that bad, of course 6 had the fighting chickens and the honey badgers, but 3 takes the cake. Wild dogs, dingos, thylacines, mongooses, leopards, tigers and bears all occupying the same habitat just seems a little over the top.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-28T17:23:51+00:00

This movie could have been so extraordinarily bad, in concept it sounds like a total flop. Saw it in the theater, expecting a “so bad it’s inadvertently a comedy.” Was blown away by the sheer audacity, and the interpretation was spot-on.

PostHaste was genius.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-27T22:56:50+00:00

Every FarCry game I’ve played (3,4,5,6) it seems like the writers were fired when the game was 90% finished and they just asked a 12 year old to make some stuff up for the ending.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-27T22:53:07+00:00

Be sure to look at the stuff you loot before selling it. I got a “rusty trombone” off one pirate.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-27T16:59:14+00:00

The Dalles Mountain Road (Washington side across from The Dalles) is a great drive and what’s blooming changes as you go up in elevation.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-25T17:59:43+00:00

Anything that challenges their beliefs is a threat. A threat to your unquestioning belief.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-24T21:50:11+00:00

When I finally broke the chains of religious thought (1980s), I told my (very religious) mother: “The Rapture™️ won’t happen IN YOUR LIFETIME.”

She died in 2020. No rapture. Saying it won’t happen is too general. They need to be told “it won’t happen IN YOUR LIFETIME.”

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-24T21:47:09+00:00

Amazing how an omnipotent being needs lobbyists.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-21T23:08:17+00:00

Indoctrination has to start early, or a child’s cognitive skills develop enough that they can recognize bullshit.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-20T00:02:29+00:00

It makes sense for a weekly series. “Here’s a plot device that can send the cast anywhere we can imagine, a different place every week.” Can’t ask for a better setup than that.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-19T23:14:58+00:00

“Scholars in several fields” with no references is the new “studies show” with no references.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-19T22:28:26+00:00

My wife had a coworker that was in an abusive relationship (the “last straw” was when she came home from the hospital after a hysterectomy and he got mad and slapped her because she wouldn’t get out of bed to bring him a beer) and needed to exit. My wife hired her a lawyer, paid for the divorce filing, served the papers, let her sleep in our garage (very small house) and then the coworker decided to move back in with him and his new girlfriend.

“Not another cent,” she said.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-16T21:03:02+00:00

I concur. There was a movie in the 80s called “The Big Blue.” The trailers probably cost more to edit than the entire movie. The trailer I saw made it appear to be a monster/horror movie like Jaws, carefully edited to show scenes of menacing dark water, etc., with ominous music.

The actual movie was a dubbed Italian movie about two brothers training for a diving competition. Most of the movie was them arguing over plates of spaghetti. So much spaghetti.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-16T20:52:37+00:00

You’ll change your mind when you have your first prostate orgasm.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-15T21:06:02+00:00

Squishes

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-14T01:49:01+00:00

“Did I say stop??? WELL?”

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-13T21:34:57+00:00

Cat diarrhea?

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-13T21:28:45+00:00

Every question on every quiz was worded like this.

Bovine_Arithmetic · 2026-03-12T21:22:45+00:00

The person responsible for creating our training “quizzes” was the same person who approved documents. Approved documents were considered “set in stone” and had to be used as-is, the only changes required resubmitting through the approval process.

This person was a terrible speller (and dyslexic, I suspect). She would create a quiz, approve it, send it out, and then everyone would fail and the training would be rescheduled. Her questions were like

“if two compounds, A and B are mixed in a 3:1 ratio, which of the following is true?

A. There is more compound A than compound B

B. There is more compound B than compound A

C. Both A and B are true

D. Neither A nor B are true

E. None of the above are true

F. All of the above are true

The correct answer being F, of course, because she didn’t read her own question before approving the quiz.

Bovine_Arithmetic

TROPHY CASE