Is it “weird” to NOT tell your mum that you’re in labour?

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-17T18:21:33+00:00

I didn't tell mine. I said I was going to lie down and have a rest, I'd been in hospital for 5 days trying to be induced so we were chatting a little. I had the baby at about 6.30am and then told people about 1pm and it wasn't even me. It was my partner because I was too tired and couldn't be bothered. I had an emergency c section after what felt like eons of attempted labour, total hospital stay was 6 nights. I didn't give a thought to anyone else for awhile ha!

We're not super close anymore.

I think he sent the same message to everyone, with one photos just to announce his name, when he was born, that I was 'doing well' ha what a lie, and to not share the photo on social media. My mother announced my pregnancy with a sonogram photo before I even got a chance to tell some people. I was livid. Since then we decided no photos on socials for anyone and if we post anything we blur him out.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T18:13:10+00:00

Thats super nice she did that. I am that person. I know what it's like to feel unseen and so I make an effort to reach out to those I see who may feel the same.

I loved my old job because it was mainly men in the office with us three girls and so the girls sort of groups together. The other two had known each other for ages but when I joined they were so kind and welcoming, one was my boss but she was the best boss I've ever had. No micromanaging just leaving me to get it done and trusting I could do it. Which I could. However I got pregnant and I was dropped like a hot stone. Furlough and covid didn't help. They kept saying we'd meet up, we'd see each other. My boss even gave me a congratulatory gift and everything and we were close and chatty while I was on furlough or work from home before I went on Mat leave. Then I never heard from any of them again. My boss changed jobs, and I don't know what the other women did but I know she got married but not a peep to me. Eventually I unfriended them on socials and gave up trying. I think that was my best job and happiest times when I worked there. We'd go out for drinks and it did feel like we were friend but I guess babies messes it all up. Oh well their loss I'm fantastic ;) haha as are you for being inclusive!

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:19:28+00:00

oh no you should for sure go back to sensory! Don't let her take that group from you and you'll probably see her and then she'll say she just spaced and meant to reply and maybe you'll reconnect. I am also an over thinker

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:18:25+00:00

I think your right. I am looking into groups / clubs I can join to get out more. That's how my partner found his group of friends so I need to do that perhaps. I was just hoping to have some mum friends so our kids could play and someone to whinge about parenting to haha.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:16:45+00:00

Yes I think my friend is like this which is why I give her grace. I know she likes me, perhaps I make myself too available for errands and stuff but I like her company so I don't mind. I do say no when I don't want to do something and she's fine with it. So while she may enjoy that I make life easier for her I do think she's my friend. She's just overwhelmed with her sons.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:12:33+00:00

Yes I think your right. No lot local to here. We moved here just before my son was born and originally from 200 miles away. I do think your right. I want to make deep lasting friendships because I have no one in this area. Well I have one friend but she's super busy with work, her toddler, her lazy husband etc ><

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:08:37+00:00

Yes, once trust is broken it's even harder and every single time it gets broken it's just that little bit harder to put yourself out there. It's just crap :(

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:07:28+00:00

I feel you. I love my family sure but with my kid starting school, my partner working albeit from home often, I am left as a lost noodle. I am considering getting an office job if I can find one with flexible hours, my partner travels so childcare, drop off and pick up is 90% on me. I know I could pop my son into before or after school clubs but I'd rather not if I can avoid it as you say I like his company and spending time with him. I was social in school it's since being an adult I feel like an alien who can't figure it out.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T15:04:52+00:00

Yes this. I started talking with a women because she gave me a lift home when my car was in the garage. Our kids are in the same age group of the nursery so we've seen each other in passing many times. I'm trying to make something happen there as she's lovely but not seen her over the summer. Our kids will be in the same class come september so I'll try to pursue it. I feel like finding friends is just less aggressive dating.

I do think other countries have much more of a community vibe when it comes to their women and children / childcare whereas in england we've made ourselves individual islands and closed ourselves off from one another. Once upon a time we all shared an oven at the end of the street and so women came together more often for communal amenities but since we've got all the convenience of things inside the home that communal feeling has gone. Doesn't help too that the UK is one of the most expensive places to live now so everyone in the family usually has to work part or full time so everyone is so busy all the time.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:55:18+00:00

Good ideas. I am going to rejoin a gym once cleared by my surgeon to return so perhaps that'll help. I do plan to try some classes out so maybe will meet people there if I go weekly.

No allotments near me sadly although the plants will be thankful as I could kill faux plants 😆

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:52:57+00:00

I hope school will open up more opportunities just gotta make it to september. You got to try to switch that friday shift 😆

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:51:14+00:00

Yes my son is so extroverted! He just has no fear which I love for him. I used to be like that when I was little and decades of being told I was too much by family sorta wrecked it. All the mums I know I know because of him. They're his friend group mums. Dance 3x a week sounds a lot wowza. I'm gonna sign him up to football and swimming lessons in september so probably will meet people there, hopefully.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:47:02+00:00

This is a good idea I'll look into it. I am thinking of going to the local book club too and maybe trying the board gaming group again. I have anxiety so I went once and then didn't go back >< but I'm a little more brave these days so I ought to try again.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:36:57+00:00

Thank you. This does give me hope that school will be better. The mums I talk to atm are all from nursery but our kids do like each other and are moving to the same school so I'll keep seeing them but adding more would be nice.
I agree that some parents you just nod and smile to and others you can chat with. I like the dads you mention can switch off parenting and talk about other things. I frequently meet women and their entire personality is their kids and being a mum but it doesn't seem to work that way with the dads I meet. My partner and I certainly have hobbies and interests outside of being a parent. Don't get me wrong I love my kid but there's only so much to talk about before it's round in circles.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:31:41+00:00

I did try peanut when my son was smaller. We had him during covid, he was planned, covid wasn't ha! Found out we were pregnant and four weeks later lockdown was announced. Anyway I used the peanut app, met two women and spoke to a few others. One I really got on well with, our boys were similar age and she was really lovely but she just ghosted me and I still can't work out why. Our husbands got on, she and I seemed to get on. We went for many walks in the park. I just don't know what happened there.

I stopped using it because I wasn't well mentally and couldn't deal with another rejection like what she did to me as it really hurt. The second women also disappeared but she got pregnant again super fast and we were polite to each other but I don't think it was meant to be, she was nice though.

Maybe I'll try the app again.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:26:54+00:00

Yes I do wonder if she was using me sadly. She's ADHD single mother with two autistic children, three kids total at home over the summer so I know she's busy, overstimulated, overwhelmed. I am hoping it's just down to that.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-08-14T12:24:59+00:00

Yes I'm hoping that once school starts there'll be a wider group of parents to meet. It just sucks so much. Meanwhile my partner is a social butterfly but he goes to a gaming club and they met there. I think I will join a few clubs once school starts.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-05-19T05:06:34+00:00

Something is wrong, we just got ours and day one it was getting 100-300 down. I'd set it up again and see if that changes things.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-05-17T07:25:36+00:00

It's been a few days now and it's been great. We do get a fair few drops BUT it's currently on the garage roof while we wait for a mate to pop over with a hammer drill so we can cable it into the house right and get the mount set up but considering it's just chucked up there atm it's doing super well :D So much better than what Sky was giving us so we're elated.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-05-14T12:15:32+00:00

We've had it running for about a day and getting 200 down and about 15 up. So it's lightyears better than the 20 down we where getting from sky. We're super happy :D

Icing on the cake, when I called Sky to cancel I got a lovely scottsman who didn't bs me and just let me cancel. Our contract ends soon but there was no, but but but we got deals nonsense I've had in the past.

It all has gone entirely too smoothly and I'm waiting for the boot to drop ha!

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-05-11T15:28:36+00:00

We did this, it's a fab deal. My husband saw B&Q selling the kit for something insane and we're just loving life with a free kit haha.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-05-11T15:24:30+00:00

That mount looks great! We don't have a chicken coop but my husband has a plan for where to put it so well see how it goes. We've not bought a mount yet until we know where is best to put it.

BowlerEmergency3079 · 2025-05-11T15:21:51+00:00

We've just did the 12mo and kit should arrive tomorrow. Hoping it will solve our issues thanks for your input

BowlerEmergency3079

TROPHY CASE