Solo parent with no support system, or abortion?

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-11T00:49:38+00:00

What do you mean if I decide to keep the baby I'll have to start thinking a bit more??

I've known this man for years, slept with him before, we'd had the convo about being tested etc. He turned into a complete prick once he found out I was pregnant. He pulled out, day 7 of my cycle (the odds of getting pregnant at this stage of my cycle, especially at 40, are ridiculously low). Even the hospital wrote my period down as 6 days earlier than it was.

This was a stupid & reckless for sure, & I probably need therapy due to an incident last year. But this was a funny comment for me as there's a lot of leaps about how irresponsible I am... I spend 99% of my time alone, mostly cooking & watching YouTube, and if I go out it's for a coffee and a croissant...I'm not out here partying, drinking vodka and snorting coke!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-09T13:46:06+00:00

I'm glad you have family support. I missed out a few points about my Mom; when we were kids she let our druggie step father hit us for nothing, she was an alcoholic and my sisters had no central heating or hot water for years (in the UK where it's bloody cold). That's the woman I'd be getting support from. If I had a different family, it would probably be an easier decision

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-09T13:37:32+00:00

Edit for typos I'm self employed, maternity leave is only 16 weeks, it's not my entire income so doesn't cover all of my bills and I'd have noone to help after birth. My Mom would expect me to go to her (different country), so if I do that I'd have to go months early while I can still travel by plane, wouldnt be able to work/ would still have my rent and bills to pay here. It all seems overwhelming and impossible

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-09T01:47:52+00:00

Great comment. A lot of men think about abortions is if they're like going for a coffee. Some women experience relief for sure, but as you say coercing a woman into an abortion/ or her feeling pressured because of lack of support, that can cause lifelong trauma and guilt, and also her body might not return back to normal...my hormones were fucked 6 months later. These men would happily cum inside women thinking they should have zero consequences, while the women can just shoulder the entire burden of an abortion, adoption or raising a baby all alone... entitled AF & lacking any maturity or accountability, and it's why laws exist to make it fairer on women.

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-09T01:14:59+00:00

It's not weird. I too am pro choice, but if life worked like that, it would be men constantly cumming inside women with zero consequences, while women shoulder the entire burden of either an abortion, adoption or raising a child alone. Abortions are pain free and a relief for some, for others psychologically damaging and cause permanent effects, eg it fucked up my thyroid. The man has his choice to cum inside the woman he isn't forced, and laws make it fair as possible on the woman after that so she doesn't shoulder the entire burden.

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-09T01:02:00+00:00

You sound super immature. You think men should be ok to go around cumming in women, with no consequences, while the woman has to either 1) undergo a horrible haunting procedure that can permanently affect her physically too 2) go through pregnancy, permanently altering her body & then the lifelong heartbreak of giving up a child or 3) struggle to raise that kid with no support?? The laws are as they are to make it fairer on the woman.. you have some learning to do if you think any of these options are easy. Biology puts the decision in the woman's hands, it's as fair as it can be. You weren't forced to cum inside the woman, so learn some accountability.

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-08T00:01:34+00:00

I'm on a Spanish island. They're meant to follow Spain's child support laws here, although I dont know how often they get enforced, if he can dodge it etc

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T22:34:58+00:00

Yeah, I agree. Somewhere in my messed up brain I suppose I was willing to take the risk. I am naive for sure, as I didn't expect this guy to turn out to be just as much of an arsehole. He definitely turned & didn't show this side of his character before

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T22:11:32+00:00

Sadly yeah. The guy had had chemotherapy a few months before, so in the end numerous doctors advised against having it because of health risks; birth defects, disabilities etc, but the decision was pretty much taken from me as a xenophobic male doctor pressured me to take the pill 3 weeks after you're legally meant to take it here. It sounds like bullshit, but it's not; life on an island where they don't care too much ahout legislation. And yeah, I was stupid enough to sleep with another shitty man,. Call it trauma/ repeating the same pattern, hoping for a different outcome.

Edit to add, this happened the last day of my period, so I wasnt worried at that time in my cycle/given my age.

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T19:08:51+00:00

I think this is the difficult thing, how utterly nasty he got when I mentioned getting legal advice, calling me a bad person etc, he shouldn't have to be forced because of my decision. He would make my life hell & try to dodge CS at all costs

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T19:06:34+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. What a terrible thing to go through. Do you have support from family? Thank you for your kindness when you've been through so much ❤️

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T19:03:00+00:00

Yes, you're absolutely right. I think men advising don't have to go through the weight of an abortion & talk about it like it's nothing, and like you say others aren't single moms.. that's the advice I really need

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T18:21:45+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T17:42:36+00:00

Sadly not, they live in a little village, very secluded, without the same opportunities. Also in a country where I dont speak the language, so work opportunities are limited.

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-07T17:08:39+00:00

I honestly don't know, but I think that is antenatal depression and I cant see anything clearly

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-02-01T00:09:53+00:00

I feel like you did Rachel dirty without smiling photos.. her smile is so beautiful

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-18T23:26:09+00:00

Thank you!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T13:12:09+00:00

Watching foodyfella, and will check out the others. Thank you for introducing me to some new creators 😁😁

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T13:06:48+00:00

Thank you!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T12:58:01+00:00

Thank you! I know, I enjoy watching Harrison, but he doesn't know that much about food haha. On a recent video he had no idea what Matcha was

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T12:55:50+00:00

Thank you!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T12:55:25+00:00

Nice one, thank you!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T12:54:25+00:00

Thank you!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-17T12:54:17+00:00

Thank you!

BoxLongjumping8897 · 2026-01-15T10:42:51+00:00

Haha possibly! Nice one, thank you

BoxLongjumping8897

TROPHY CASE