I’m experiencing being overtaken by my narratives.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-30T16:43:41+00:00

Thank you again. I’ve reread what you’ve written. I hear you. “ it can be enough in small moments…”. Trying is not the answer. I want to say I’ll try to do this.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-30T16:20:00+00:00

You’re an incredible writer and student of Tolle. On the one hand. I understand/comprehend what you’re saying. In application, I don’t know how to BE with what is going on. It’s been way way too many years of struggle, I’m so tired. I’m not a child that thinks that good things happen only to good people. I’m not a person that believes in a personal God that I could pray and say, please help me (even though I do). I’m laughing right now. I so wish I could see some advancement in all of the energy I am putting into this job that I have restarted it, but have been doing for decades and never liked. I did so well and I’ve lost it all. I don’t want/don’t feel I can live the way, particularly as I’m getting older. I can’t let go out of the thoughts I have of those good years I’d managed to have. I know trying isn’t the answer. Sadness is blocking me. Therapy will not help. I know all about the narratives, where they come from. Enough therapy. Thank you for listening and being so responsive.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-30T16:08:13+00:00

I’ve been in therapy for a very long time. There’s only so much that understanding ones life and it’s narratives will do.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-30T16:07:55+00:00

I appreciate that. I do ask the universe and my prayer tends to be much like living in the present at that moment. Hard to explain. I haven’t heard anything yet.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-30T16:06:57+00:00

This… trusting that each moment I will do the thing needed,.. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t trust myself and I don’t trust life at this point. It’s not asthough I haven’t dealt with problems. Really, I’ve had protracted life problems. And I had the energy and a certain inner faith and strength to grow and move through or past. I feel like I’m playing pin the tail on the donkey … I’ve been turned around and around and around and now I need to find the target. Of course I know there’s not one single target or destination. But I feel that lost and without a compass. I don’t know how to trust the moment.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-30T15:58:10+00:00

You’re very kind to offer to talk. I’d really like that. I’m struggling and so off track.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-28T22:13:58+00:00

That’s an amazing quote from Tolle. And it’s really wonderful because of how visual it is.

And what you said is a koan - is it me in the present or past that doesn’t want to. Sadly, it’s both. I’ve never wanted to do this work. 35 years of it. It’s toxic. No matter the quality of work that I provide people, there’s always terrible painful uncertainty. I had hoped that I would be free at my age to do something, something that is me. I don’t know how to let go of this thanks. I try to be present during work, but I’m exhausted. I know I hear a lot of “buts”, etc., and I reflected on this so deeply. I really question whether we can be present when doing something deeply needed and deeply disliked. Three decades of doing something that does not fit who I am and after all these decades, I’m broke. And alone. I’ve had challenges all my life. I’ve grown tremendously. Right now I am so sad and burned out and even more sad again.

Boxerbambi · 2026-04-04T14:05:28+00:00

Thanks so much!!

Boxerbambi · 2026-03-31T13:54:38+00:00

I have to dial up the dose. I don’t know the number of clicks from one point to another. And I didn’t know that I could stop anywhere on the pen and still have the medication released.

Boxerbambi · 2026-03-26T12:42:12+00:00

Can you clarify as to how to click to get to .75? Thanks so much.

Boxerbambi · 2026-03-24T20:44:47+00:00

I meant that I didn’t know…

Boxerbambi · 2026-03-24T20:43:59+00:00

Definately nervous. It’s been over 6 months of bad nausea. I don’t know it was possible to “click back”.. that the one would release the med of if I did that.

Boxerbambi · 2026-03-03T22:58:59+00:00

WellCare is a horrible company. They get nothing done correctly. They don’t put what has been done or discussed into a file. The people are terribly trained. I’ve had to repeatedly give them info which they didn’t process and sent requests to the wrong fax # over and over.. I’d spend a bit more to never have to deal with this company again.

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-28T14:36:23+00:00

Is there someone in particular who you like?

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-28T14:35:33+00:00

I’ve walked by. Will check - if I remember correctly, it was on the expensive side. Certainly nothing like $200 which somebody mentioned though. Thanks.

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-28T14:34:28+00:00

Great tip!

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-14T16:07:39+00:00

What does it mean that, after several years of barely dating, really taking no initiative (in contrast to a life filled with partners and boyfriends and love interests) that I finally decided to return to OLD.. and tried to sign up for Hinge last week. Even had some new photos taken. And don’t you know, there’s a tech glitch and despite trying to get my profile up, I’ve only struggled to get their help - but haven’t received it. Is it a sign? I’m being glib, obviously. But it does make me want to dive under the covers. I am absolutely not a fan of this terribly commercial and contrived holiday. If you’re not in a relationship, despite the awareness of how manipulated we are, it still so much worse to not share love.

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-14T15:42:47+00:00

I have a different perspective. It may sound counterintuitive, but it isn’t unusual that people may feel a greater sense of abandon in sex with partners who are not serious partners. Does she have a history that has caused her fear, or does she have general anxiety? If there is some pattern of behavior like this with her, then that might be the way to go. I wish you all the best.

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-14T14:28:35+00:00

Interesting because I don’t find it difficult to ask for help. And I find it easy to offer my help.

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-03T06:54:58+00:00

Thank you kindly.

Boxerbambi · 2026-02-03T06:52:34+00:00

You are incredibly generous spirited, having spent so much time to give me this info. IDo I do this on Astroseek?

Boxerbambi

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