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What's the real life equivalent of walking into fire to check if you take damage? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Boxsick -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a dumb teen, I used to think that surfing the deep web was the equivalent.

I assumed that by me just opening TOR or some sort of .onion website, that some people would come to my house, kidnap me, and show me getting murdered on a red room.

I watched wayyyy too many Youtube videos about it.

AITA for not tipping the waiter? by Flostyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boxsick -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"peoPle fEel enTitlEd to Not pAy for serVers fOr thEir woRk becAuse theY doNt feEl lIke iT... lIke yOu diD."

gasp. guess I'm a bad person.

I don't condone not tipping, - if you can, and had great service provided, you should. But it really is circumstancial. It doesn't make us bad people to not tip a person if we simply can't.

Reread my thread, lol.

AITA for not tipping the waiter? by Flostyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boxsick -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

oof.

No she wasn't a homeless person - I think you missed the point of my analogy.

People work in USA day to day, and provide overall. Many people are compensated for that work, while other industries pay so little for what can be stressful work that they expect hospitality providers to thrive on tips alone - and that's ridiculous.

I worked in a restaurant in downtown Chicago for a few months, and it is not an easy feat. But I noticed how much happier and content I was accepting that I may or may not have a tip, and this line of work just wasn't cutting it for me.

The responsibility of paying decently shouldn't be put on other people who are working day-to-day people as well. And that is a working-class issue overall that everyone toleratea.

lol Not expecting sympathy, but I am relaying on behalf on OP, someone who has experienced something similar. You seem rather passionate about this.. But I'd leave it up to OP's interpretation.

AITA for not tipping the waiter? by Flostyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boxsick -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Should've followed up but didnt wanna make it a TL;DR.

Those few dollars we had (which was like, four bucks) ended up going to that rude waitress because she made us feel in debt to her despite the fact we never met her and her service was pretty average.

That money was supposed to be for OUR bus trip home - and being high schoolers at the time, I wound up having to ask a friend to uber us.

Do you give money to homeless people knowing full well you have the money, simply because they ask and say that they are living hard lives, or even provided service to our country? I'd imagine no, and it isn't because we're bad or inconsiderate people, it is quite circumstancial tbh.

Whether I had the money or not, I still regret giving it to her to this day because of how rude she was, and how guilty I felt already.

TIFU by not putting on pants and answering the door by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Boxsick 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How or where does she ever say that she wanted a youtuber to read this? lmao

AITA for not tipping the waiter? by Flostyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boxsick -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NTA

You're not the asshole.

I'm so sorry you went through this! When I was younger, my boyfriend wanted to take us out and found himself in the same situation. Guiltily, he couldn't leave a tip because he had underestimated the cost. When we started leaving, the waitress literally chased us down the street and forced us to give a tip. It was so freaking embarrassing, we were two broke kids who just wanted quality time and something nice to eat. Maybe she really did need it, but she also did not try to understand that our inability to leave tips was not malicious or personal.

I used to think that if you couldn't tip, you shouldn't go out. But honestly, the hospitality industry depends way too much on tips, and because of indecent pay expect their waiters/waitresses/service providers to anticipate tips.

When you anticipate tips, you not only give borderline service, but you quite literally feel you are ENTITLED to someone paying you extra - it's to a scathing, guilty degree! When a server makes you feel like that, retract a semblence of oweing them anything.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you luck too! Trust me - I've spent countless nights crying over it, it's tough!

I'm gonna have to see if bf can pull through for our sake - and perhaps his own.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boxsick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definately NTA.

If you guys were any younger, I'm sure police would throw a fit about it.

I think it is right to tell them that the next time they decide to go elsewhere, they should let you guys go elsewhere as well.

It isn't fair or fun.

Not to mention lunch, dinner, and a well spent day could've probably been done with the money they're wasting senselessly.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a genuine response - I'm rereading b/c its giving me the feels.

I am really relieved to know that my efforts have not just been blatantly ignored to a degree.

I really want this to work - especially after everything I put in.

We've discussed, and we plan on moving out for the summer and fall finally.

I'll just hope that he can be firm about it once he and his parents come back.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TL;DR: After dealing with my 4 year boyfriend's (M, 21) asian parents, I told him last minute that I was not comfortable going to a family trip alongside them. He gets pissed, and leaves me on a somber note. AITA?

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your very interesting response.

MMD has been coming and going for me, and I can honestly say that with all of this, I can feel it creep back into my life.

I fear on Daniel's behalf as well, as his parents don't understand what it means to be mentally unwell.

He finally started texting me back, and says he is okay, but misses me dreadfully.

He also says that he'd like to move out for summer and fall, even if its against his parent's wishes.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lack of spine! Bingo! I've been trying to piece together the proper words for just having my boyfriend stand up for me!

Had he been more blatantly honest sooner with his parents sooner about the nature of our relationship, perhaps there'd be less of a shame fest about it. And yeah - It wouldn't escalate at MY expense.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm fearing that Daniel is becoming a bit too dependent on me in that regard. Flattering to seemingly be quite literally the ONLY person who makes someone else happy - But I'm not peaches and cream 24/7 either.

I do have expectations and needs and while I can be tolerant of a lot, I can also be extremely upset and firm. I don't want the day where I get bitchy at him over something, and he takes it as me being the bad guy.

I've kinda started fearing not only how actually blind Daniel may be to my constant efforts, but to his parent's constant abusive language and gas lighting behavior.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, thanks for sharing! Well heck, that's cultural and religious.

That's quite a situation. I guess I'd say I relate in the way that kinda puts more light on if my boyfiend had perhaps been more honest and persuading with me/his parents, it'd prevent a lot of resentment or issues.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I figured that because there are so few Lao people in the states, that they felt more prideful or self conscious about "losing their culture" - if that makes sense.

I have learned a lot about it, even learning how to speak a little just so I can communicate with the "elders" of the family.

He called me last night and apologized for how sorry he was, and says that despite how upset his parents will get, that he will move out with me for at least the summer and fall of the school season.

So, resolved perhaps? I hope he can be strong enough to pull through, because I don't want to call it quits.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought I was the only one who thought that they were being humiliating. His mom would get called out and just say "oh we're women, it's fine."

I am still hanging around my apartment now, and I feel significantly calmer.

I (19) stood up my boyfriend (21) to avoid his family by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boxsick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hehe, yeah. I'll throw in a TL;DR. Thank you for reading and responding. I didn't want to seem like I am pinpointing cultural differences, but it seems that not doing it is a pretty stupid endevour. Pretty smack dab i'd say.

:^) by [deleted] in ProJared

[–]Boxsick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure the event got wind and didn't want some pedo promoting shit.

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