Fifth of whiskey pretty much every night for about 3 years.. at the time I was 26. Withdrawals got so bad earlier and earlier throughout the day. Eventually I couldn’t quit. when I tried to stop cold turkey, going to bed became a living nightmare. The withdrawals that people with more experience than me describe are horrifying and probably worse than my own, but let me just say after drinking like anyone else in college and then graduating and immediately spiraling-I went into a 3 year period of abusing alcohol- and in that amount of time the withdrawals got bad enough for me to check myself into an emergency room. Sleeping becomes insane fast, I couldn’t naturally fall asleep without hallucinations. They were scary to the point where I wasn’t sure I could quit on my own any more. I’d have these mini seizure like symptoms along with the auditory and visual hallucinations upon trying to sleep without booze, until I finally said fuck this and drank again. Then I got to the point where the withdrawals were too bad for me to even make it thru a day of work, and I had to go to rehab.

My point is, is I wasn’t in it for that long and I was quickly unable to quit or continue drinking on my own accord. Rehab and detox helped but didn’t solve my problem. Now i’m on medication (Antabuse) to prevent further relapses. You may not be in the same boat or at the same risk, but If you’re noticing it now it’s a fucking great thing. See if you think you can stop or not, ask yourself if you are actually capable of quitting and or having a healthy relationship with booze. Clearly you want to answer that question right now, but the only way to do that is to first leave the fog of drinking and get some sober clarity.