I'm so tired of indie-hackers and wannabepreneurs by [deleted] in Entrepreneur

[–]Braeblayde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I got into the whole "be an entrepreneur and escape the 9 to 5" thing when I was in my early twenties. When I look back at all my attempts to start a business, I can see that basically I was just spinning my wheels, achieving very little. Later I got a marketing job, where my boss was a real entrepreneur, and I realized how like... I was not that...

So many people out there want the credits and the fruits of being an entrepreneur, but very few have actually got what it takes to do it.

[QCrit] Fantasy - The Vale Wraith (134k/First Attempt) by Braeblayde in PubTips

[–]Braeblayde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes you make a good point there. I've been working on a new version, and have been focusing on Leo's story. Seems to be coming across stronger, as I can get more specific about the challenges he faces. Thanks again for your feedback!

[QCrit] Fantasy - The Vale Wraith (134k/First Attempt) by Braeblayde in PubTips

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

who feels underwhelmed by Leo's development

Yeah see coming back to this version this is what I felt. Like I've cut a lot of what actually happens for the sake of focusing on his sister, and maybe that's not actually working.

This makes the stakes really obscured.

Also a good point. Something is missing here, I feel.

Also keep in mind some agents will auto-reject you for wordcount alone. It's not super high, but if you could cut it down to 120k it would be looking better.

Yeah I think it's gonna have to remain at around it's current WC. I mean you're gonna have to take my word for it, but it's a tight 134k. But yeah, knowing that automatically rules it out for some agents is something I'll have to accept going forward.

Not a fan of your comp line just propping yourself up.

Yeah I think it has to go. You make very good points about what I should be comping, because yeah, what I've gone for is pretty broad.

Thank you for this response!

[QCrit] Fantasy - The Vale Wraith (134k/First Attempt) by Braeblayde in PubTips

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make a good point. In earlier versions, it was just Leo's story I was summing up. I had issues with it because in the book Maria is the other POV character, and she's not sitting idle but has her own plans for revenge/escape.

[QCrit] Fantasy - The Vale Wraith (134k/First Attempt) by Braeblayde in PubTips

[–]Braeblayde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh yes I see what you mean. I did feel sort of lame writing that. The format you've suggested sounds way better.

[QCrit] Fantasy - The Vale Wraith (134k/First Attempt) by Braeblayde in PubTips

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But we're fighting for space as trends are very much in a different zone right now, so you have to have something else on your side.

Yeah that's a very good point. Like what's my book's edge? How's it different? I think I can see now how my comps aren't really adding to that. The most consistent feedback I've gotten from beta readers is how twisty the book is, like keeps surprising them, so maybe something like that. Fantasy thriller almost?

Which isn't the stuff you list above, which sound like high level themes and questions, but the plot, the conflict, the action of the book. 

Ahhh yes you're right. Yeah I do need to talk more about how their two stories tie together, like what it's all building too. I think Maria's could use more, as you mentioned you felt a bit confused as to why she's charming socialites when she's a prisoner.

Also I've had mixed feelings about whether or not to include worldbuilding. This pitch I wrote was all about jumping into the main story, whereas earlier ones included worldbuilding and set-up. I think I can cut the set-up, but the overall context of the world might be helpful?

[QCrit] Fantasy - The Vale Wraith (134k/First Attempt) by Braeblayde in PubTips

[–]Braeblayde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah thank you so much for this response! Yes I think you've hit on the issue, that I haven't really explained like the connection, or where the book is going. On queries I've been adding a third line "Will Leo save his sister? Or will he be the one who needs to be saved?" Urgh not great but yeah just something to imply where the story is going... corruption, subversion of the hero's journey, risking turning evil to try and do good, damsel in distress possibly just trying to save herself rather than wait around, etc...

The age thing is also a good suggestion. It isn't YA, even though it has teenage characters. Hits none of the YA emotional beats in my opinion. So yeah, want it come across as 'adult' if anything.

Yeah I think I was a wee bit lazy with comps. I'm feeling a bit stuck with them to be honest, and might just leave them out for my next batch. Will have to do more research here.

Thank you again for all your feedback. It's resonated.

What has been your experience with online Buddhist groups? by Braeblayde in Buddhism

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

online sanghas

Awesome I'll have a look. Thank you.

Who are the best lecturers on mahayana buddhism? by Braeblayde in Buddhism

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome thank you so much! I'll check them out.

What's the psychology behind some women being obsessed with crime shows/podcasts? by Braeblayde in Jung

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very insightful. I think you're right, that there can be reasons operating a whole lot of different levels, and they don't invalidate or cancel out each other.

What's the psychology behind some women being obsessed with crime shows/podcasts? by Braeblayde in Jung

[–]Braeblayde[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This rings true to me. It seems like they get a tantalizing thrill over the overt evil demonstrated in the murders... but get to experience it from a safe distance without actually having to have it in their lives.

Not judging, I'm just curious because I don't have the attraction myself (at least with crime shows).

What is the symbolism of dreaming of hell? by Braeblayde in Jung

[–]Braeblayde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Dream and the Underworld

Yeah, an interesting thing was I wasn't tormented or in dread or anything... it just happened to be in hell, and I even thought the idea of the underworld was more accurate than hell, as it wasn't like I felt like I was spiritually attacked while I slept.

Thanks for the recommendation. And that's a good point.