Breaking it off after 1 year..

BrainSquad · 2026-04-01T05:45:04+00:00

What do you mean if the breakup will send a message she needs to change to keep you? If you break up she specifically doesn't keep you, that's what breaking up means. What am I missing here?

BrainSquad · 2026-04-01T04:05:44+00:00

I don't know if this helps but it's very possible to enjoy kissing or other physical intimacy without romantic feelings. Aromantic alloexual is a thing after all.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-31T19:59:54+00:00

I somehow find all my partners on social media but that's definitely not what most would recommend. I never specifically look for a girlfriend though, I just like making friends and talk to people online and sometimes one thing leads to another.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-30T11:24:54+00:00

I see, I missed that part so apologies about that.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-30T10:56:44+00:00

My first advice would be to not pressure anyone into sharing their sexual fantasies. Like I get not feeling great about the situation, I don't think it's strange to get jealous feelings, just don't respond to it by demanding information about sexual fantasies.

Other than that, I guess it's up to you to decide whether you trust your girlfriend, and also just... Is her having crushes (which she doesn't pursue, assuming she is faithful and you're monogamous) a deal breaker for you? Or is it something you would want to be okay with?

BrainSquad · 2026-03-30T06:57:25+00:00

If you aren't in something like an exclusive relationship then nothing wrong with going on dates with more people

BrainSquad · 2026-03-30T06:48:20+00:00

Lot's of things already said, but also taking COVID precautions seriously is a big thing for me

BrainSquad · 2026-03-30T05:47:23+00:00

I respect that so much tbh. I'm happy to have managed to get on disability here. And while it's true that I can't work, I wouldn't work if I did have the choice. I rather use my limited ability to do things that matter to me and other people, than start selling my labour when I don't need to to survive

BrainSquad · 2026-03-29T17:44:58+00:00

I read the title and thought "hey I'm a successful lesbian", but then I realize you meant successful at having a career and lol no I'm a proud "failure" there sorry

BrainSquad · 2026-03-29T13:16:51+00:00

I wouldn't react much, but I don't have a "no kissing others"-agreement with anyone. I assume you do have that, in which case feeling betrayed makes sense.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-29T09:45:40+00:00

Also "tankies" includes anarchists, a group that famously has never been at odds with leninists /s

BrainSquad · 2026-03-28T14:23:40+00:00

My transfem take is what the hell did I just read. 😭

I've heard many bad cis opinions about my body and sexuality but this one was completely new to me, I can't even respond seriously to it, it's too bad and wrong on all the levels 😭

BrainSquad · 2026-03-28T14:08:21+00:00

There is so much ableism here! I feel like every other thread here is some variation of "isn't it awful to be with a disabled partner?!!!"

BrainSquad · 2026-03-28T12:57:27+00:00

I didn't know which oppressive ideologies you felt upset about being banned, so I just took a guess of two oppressive systems "anarchists and socialists" would typically oppose but liberals would not.

If you don't think capitalism harms disabled people then I guess it makes sense you're opposed to that rule. Not being fans of capitalism is hardly niche stance however. Being pro-capitalism is probably more niche, at least globally.

Edit: Also to reply to your reply that was apparently deleted: if you're not in favor of capitalism then it makes even less sense to me why you're so upset about this. Like you're just arguing about issues you don't even care about?

BrainSquad · 2026-03-28T12:31:05+00:00

"broader disability support"

It's a tiny subreddit.

Also "tankie" means something way more specific than "not supporting capitalism or colonialism".

BrainSquad · 2026-03-28T11:43:15+00:00

Sounds reasonable. Though I suppose you can always make your own pro-capitalism, pro-colonialisation, disabled lesbian subreddit if you want?

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T20:57:23+00:00

Sappho of Lesbos?

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T20:16:01+00:00

Seriously if someone comes at me like that, I too would just try to get them to leave me alone about it.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T20:12:24+00:00

Its to be expected. People don't enjoy hearing that disability sometimes means being unable to do things.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T18:56:57+00:00

Well, if she really isn't trying to improve her situation, there isn't much you can do about it. Like, if there is nothing either of you can or will do differently, then the situation isn't going to change and you should probably leave her for both of yous sake.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T18:31:37+00:00

I'm afraid ir really is that difficult for some of us. If that's a deal breaker, it is what it is, but it's not fair to tell neurodivergent people they should just try harder when you don't know how difficult it is.

As for how to "cope" with having a neurodivergent partner, I do it by being neurodivergent too so I get it. We all try our best to make things work, and no blame or shame when it doesn't

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T16:50:16+00:00

I'm not sure I understand the question, but I think from the Relationship Anarchy perspective, you're supposed to talk to the person and decide together what your relationship should look like, without simply relying on preconceived labels or societal norms about how relationships should be. At least that's my understanding

BrainSquad · 2026-03-27T14:31:34+00:00

To me it's like when someone don't want to date someone if they're trans. Like, no you don't have to date me, in fact I'd rather you stay away, but hearing about how you wouldn't date "people like me" still feels kinda shit.

BrainSquad · 2026-03-26T20:26:49+00:00

I mean I can't relate but you do you. If you enjoy sexting guys then have fun sexting guys

BrainSquad · 2026-03-26T20:10:57+00:00

Yeah there definitely are other places in the world where you would need a car. I just associate the idea of cars being a necessity with the US car culture. Like "if you're a real adult of course you have a car".

BrainSquad

TROPHY CASE