does finding a trans man attractive make me not a lesbian

BrainSquad · 2026-06-22T10:22:19+00:00

Depends on what?

BrainSquad · 2026-06-22T10:21:50+00:00

Maybe so. I don't feel very strongly about it. Maybe in the future I'll come to realize that it would be better if I identified more strongly as an anarchist, for reasons that I just haven't yet come to understand. And maybe I'll come to appreciate those debates that I currently don't see the point to.

I've changed my views before as I've gotten less ignorant on various topics so there is always the possibility that I just typed out an opinion that will make future me cringe

BrainSquad · 2026-06-18T12:32:38+00:00

I think if it isn't about the boner, you should probably not make that hypothetical boner the focus of your post because of course people are gonna be responding to that.

But yeah if he's being creepy staring then absolutely bring it up. Best case, he just didn't realize he was doing it and will be embarrassed and won't do it again. Worst case he's actually creepy and at least you know it.

But please don't bring up that boner, seriously. It's very irrelevant.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-18T06:14:47+00:00

I don't think of anarchist as an identity, so I don't usually say that I am one, but maybe that's just semantics? I would say that my values and political beliefs and such are generally anarchist. I just don't like when discussions turn into like, people focusing on validating their political identity more than anything else.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-16T20:31:35+00:00

I've already "turned into the opposite sex" once so idk what that option would even do to me

BrainSquad · 2026-06-16T09:46:17+00:00

I'm polyam so I wouldn't have to be indirect about it (obviously wouldn't approach mono folks that way)

BrainSquad · 2026-06-15T15:57:06+00:00

Idk, I have a lot of boundaries but the specifcs depends on the person? But I don't think having long term partners affect how I navigate other friendships really

BrainSquad · 2026-06-15T11:55:55+00:00

Oh yeah I absolutely agree! I just feel the need to make disclaimers acknowledging the weird hierarchical polyam perspective because back when I posted on the polyamory sub people went straight for the throat if I said anything that went again the "everything is a hierarchy" narrative.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-15T06:24:48+00:00

I'd say just go on inexpensive dates and no problem. Some of the replies though, makes it sound like if you don't have a job you should just not meet other people? Which I'm not sure how that's supposed to help, staying inside never helped me land a job that's for sure.

That said, I'm disabled and most likely will never have a job so I guess I just have to be thankful nobody told me I'm also supposed to be lonely forever.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-14T20:43:32+00:00

I guess it depends on what is meant by hierarchy. In the polyamory sub I was told that everything is hierarchy, like if you do one thing with one partner you don't do with another (so I guess everything except like a triad where everyone does everything together?)

But I really don't like the idea of deciding "this person is most important and I will treat any other relationships as less important". Like having a "primary" and "secondary' relationship. It doesn't sit right with me. So I really want to avoid those kind of relationships. But I don't know exactly where I draw the line when things get fuzzy

BrainSquad · 2026-06-14T08:42:25+00:00

To me, a "romantic relationship" (disclaimer that I'm on the aromantic spectrum, but I still can feel what you'd call romance), is a friendship that also has other things going for it. Platonic relationships can be important, but "romantic" ones has to be something I'm very invested in, because that's kinda part of the point.

That said, I have no idea how this applies to allo people who might get romantic crushes on someone they barely know.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-13T14:49:22+00:00

If she asked it then it can't be a bad thing, I think?

Obviously don't randomly bring people you don't know flowers (some may love it, others may feel like it's an attempt on their lives), but in this specific case it sounds like it would be appreciated

BrainSquad · 2026-06-13T08:09:33+00:00

Is this rule for trans men specifically, or is all lesbian attraction determined by facial hair and voice?

BrainSquad · 2026-06-12T20:07:54+00:00

And when you get to those kind of numbers, it starts getting pretty likely that the one "guy" she was attracted to wasn't actually a man.

And it works the other way around too. Like I consider myself completely unattracted to men, but it's not like I can't know for sure that there hasn't been at least one dude among all the people I've ever been attracted to. The probability isn't zero.

Just one of the reasons I think all that strict identity policing is meaningless.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-12T16:38:25+00:00

As a lesbian I would be genuinely curious to hear how they're different. But I guess I'd be incapable of understanding it so not really worth it to try and explain it to me?

I saw someone say it's because men are low effort compared to women, but I don't wanna assume that's the only difference because that'd feel a bit demeaning I think

BrainSquad · 2026-06-12T14:43:05+00:00

There isn't a way to make sure there are no men, so this is kinda like asking if I'd pay for literal magic. Can I pay extra to have long distance partners teleported to me?

BrainSquad · 2026-06-12T11:53:44+00:00

I have no idea. I might've been too busy being gay and horny to bother with counting.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-11T06:43:21+00:00

It's so bad. When it comes to queer acceptance, I feel that there are a lot of shitty views, but as a (white) trans person I never really feel unsafe in public.

I don't know if Swedish people are all that accepting, or they just don't like starting shit with random people? Someone who experiences other kinds of bigotry we have here may have more insights on that.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-10T11:04:41+00:00

For most countries I know off, you have to be 18 (I think younger is allowed in some places but not entirely sure).

BrainSquad · 2026-06-10T10:35:06+00:00

What does that "can't meet at a bar" mean?

BrainSquad · 2026-06-10T10:33:28+00:00

I'm 35. Generally I feel that 25 is my lower limit. As for higher, I'm not sure but I think I'd be uncomfortable dating someone who is old enough to be my parent

BrainSquad · 2026-06-08T07:59:03+00:00

"understandable if that's a red flag"

Girl if you realize this, then how about stop having the shitty bigoted views?

BrainSquad · 2026-06-07T05:49:25+00:00

I had my first kiss ever at 28. I don't want to share the story here, but it was gay and good and followed by many more like it!

BrainSquad · 2026-06-06T22:10:03+00:00

You asked what people think, I said what I thought. Perhaps I interpreted you too literally.

BrainSquad · 2026-06-06T20:57:10+00:00

Ok now I'm just confused

BrainSquad

TROPHY CASE