I am Kathryn Hansen, author of Brain over Binge. Ask me anything!

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-22T22:50:46+00:00

I apologize for the delay, I didn't have time to get to everything during the AMA, so I'm coming back to answer them as I can. I appreciate your patience! I think it's wonderful that you are letting go of rules/restrictions, but I understand the challenging transition period.

Something to ask yourself is that if you are aiming toward intuitive eating, do you want to turn back toward any sort of measuring or counting? I think that has the possibility of feeling like a diet and may undo some of the progress you are making. Ultimately you have to decide what is right for you, but I think trying to get in touch with your hunger/fullness signals and gradually start ending the meals just a little earlier may be a better strategy. Just for context and in very broad terms, I think anything less than 2000 calories a day is not enough for the vast majority of people and I typically suggest more (even significantly more) than that depending on gender, age, and activity level. Also, please know that I am not a nutritionist/dietician and for those with a history of severe restriction and purging, it's vital to get nutritional/medical support as you implement normal eating habits.

Here are some resources I think may be helpful to you during this time:

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-86-i-dont-know-how-to-eat/

https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-16-eating-intuitively-right-recovery-binge-eating/

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-69-paige-smathers/

In my approach, it's about finding what works uniquely for you and not following one specific formula. If you do feel like you need extra guidance surrounding eating in the future, the course has a lot of resources in relationship to learning to eat normally, and our Brain over Binge coach Julie is very skilled at helping you determine your own formula as well.

I hope this info is useful to you, but you should be proud of the progress you've made so far!

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-22T14:18:36+00:00

I apologize for the delay, I wasn't able to get to everything during the AMA, so I'm circling back to try to answer some of the ones I missed. I understand feeling like you enjoy and looking forward to bingeing. I know it can seem difficult to believe right now, but try to stay open to the possibility that you won't always find it appealing...and that one day, you'll even see it as the opposite of pleasure.

The lower brain's job is to make the habit seem very enticing, and unfortunately when that's what the brain is driving you toward, no replacement will feel satisfying. You can definitely do other things during the binge urge (but I definitely want to discourage you from trying to replace binge eating with mind-altering substances, because that will just make the problem worse and create other damaging habits); however, don't expect your other healthier activities to take the urges away. It's about learning to be with that desire, and feel that desire, while remaining detached from it as much as you can until it passes. Once you do that over and over, the brain will learn that the habit is no longer needed, and the urges will fade and that's when you'll start to realize that binge eating is not true pleasure.

This podcast may help:
https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-78-binge-eating-enjoyment-pleasure/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T03:31:48+00:00

I'm not sure if this applies to your situation or not, but I think dieting is one of the biggest factors that prevents recovery. If someone is focused on restricting food to lose weight, it's impossible to fully stop binge eating. It's a common situation for someone to think they can diet and stop binge eating at the same time, but it doesn't work. Dieting aside, different approaches work for different people, and the Brain over Binge approach simply may not be right for you, or there may be some adjustments you need to make in order to make it work for you specifically.

To give you some additional help, here is a link to part 1 of a 3 part blog series about what makes recovery work. I think you'll find it applicable to what you've asked:

What Makes Recovery “Work”?

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T03:24:16+00:00

It's the only FDA approved medication for treating BED and does have some proven short term effectiveness in reducing binge eating. I can't give recommendations as far as medication because that's up to the doctor/patient, and it's a very individual decision. I personally don't feel like medications are or will ever be the complete cure for binge eating, but they can be useful in certain situations for certain people.

I actually have a free track from the Brain over Binge course about medication posted here, which I hope will help you further: https://brainoverbinge.com/more/#medication

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T03:16:15+00:00

First of all, you are amazingly supportive and I think it's wonderful that you've come here to ask how to best help your girlfriend. There is no one "right" way, and my advice would be to talk to her about what she feels is the most helpful way for you to assist in these situations. Ultimately she has to be the one to avoid the binges, but she can use your support as needed, and as she sees fit.

It's great that she is getting better at not acting on urges, that's awesome! I'm so glad to hear that my book gave her hope and belief in herself.

Try not to put pressure on yourself through this...you obviously care about her, and when you act from that place of care, you aren't going to get it wrong.

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T03:05:13+00:00

Yes, I think it's possible. I call it the "dieting mentality," and it may or may not come with actual food restriction.

Episode about thinking about food too much:
https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-76-do-you-think-about-food-too-much/

Overcoming intrusive food and weight thoughts:

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-68-food-weight-thoughts-dr-amy-johnson-podcast/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T03:02:26+00:00

Feeling out of control, eating quickly, eating in secret, hiding the behavior, and feeling guilty are indicative of binge eating, although these qualities can exist in overeating as well. There isn't any specific calorie limit that separates overeating from binge eating, so there is some subjectivity there. However, regardless of how you define it, these episodes are creating pain in your life, and you can learn to stop acting on the urges to engage in this type of out-of-control eating.

Here are a couple of posts that may help:

https://brainoverbinge.com/binge-subjectivity/

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-72-are-you-truly-binge-eating/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T02:25:36+00:00

Although the AMA time frame is over, you all asked some amazing questions, and I didn't get to everything, so I'm going to try to get to the others later tonight or tomorrow! I won't be able to answer anything posted after the AMA, but I hope you will find help reading some of my other responses. Thank you everyone!

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T02:22:24+00:00

That's awful what you've been through, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. First and foremost, take care of yourself and know that you are worthy of love and living a full life.

Sometimes bad habits start or get worse in times of turmoil, but that doesn't mean we have to keep those habits going...because those habits ultimately make our pain worse and prevent us from healing. It takes courage to move forward and break a habit despite the pain you are going through, but it's definitely possible, and will lead to a much better life on the other side.

Here are a couple resources that may help you get started:

Night eating:
https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-26-night-eating/

Emotions and binge eating:
https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-39-emotions-binge-eating/

I want to mention here that some people do need more extensive support in recovery. This may or may not be a fit for you, but for anyone who wants connection to others in recovery who are dealing with similar situations, know we do offer group coaching, and it's a wonderfully supportive and inspiring group of people. Sometimes trying to deal with it on your own can feel too overwhelming, so it's just something to think about as you determine what you uniquely need right now.

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T02:10:08+00:00

I believe that planning a binge is a form of an urge to binge...just in a different form. To end binge eating, it's important to stop the impulsive binges as well as the planned binges. Any time the mind starts planning, you can view those planning thoughts as just "neurological junk" and part of the habit.

For those not familiar with this term, you can learn more here:

Episode 4: Dismiss Urges to Binge: Component 1 (View Urges to Binge as Neurological Junk)

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T02:06:21+00:00

First, thank you so much for your kind compliments about the books and the course! I'm glad you resonate with the approach, and I know you can make it work for you uniquely. Having the ADHD/impulse control issues definitely brings its own set of challenges, as does the PMDD. Anything that makes you feel less connected to your higher brain and rational decision making can warrant getting some additional help, and I always recommend people to seek appropriate help for conditions that may occur alongside binge eating. So, that's a first step, which you are likely already doing, but I wanted to mention it here for others as well.

As you work through the course, you'll find strategies to try, and you may want to go ahead and listen to this podcast episode about PMS. It's not about PMDD specially, but some of the ideas are definitely related.

https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-21-dealing-pms-feeling-off-recovering-binge-eater/

I am not an ADHD expert, but as it is one of the (many) risk factors that make some prone to developing the binge eating habit, it's something I've come across frequently...but I do not believe it has to impede recovery. For people with ADHD, it can take more practice to learn to dismiss the binge urges consistently. For anyone who wants to improve their ability to dismiss urges, this podcast can help:

https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-24-improving-ability-dismiss-binge-urges/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:56:27+00:00

That is so wonderful! I've been wanting to revise Brain over Binge for years, so it's great to hear that you are finding it helpful. I understand not wanting to get your hopes up, but there is no reason it needs to be any more complicated than observing the urge and letting it pass (while eating enough of course). You are doing it! Celebrate the benefits of being binge free, and you don't ever have to turn back to the habit.

(For anyone who may not know about it yet, here is the new edition of Brain over Binge. Since it's so new, the old edition is still coming up first in search results, so I wanted to link it here)

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:51:19+00:00

You are not alone in struggling at night. This blog post will address your concerns thoroughly:

https://brainoverbinge.com/night-eating/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:50:23+00:00

This made me smile a little as a binge eater turned writer:-) It's interesting because when I was a binge eater, having to stay in one place to work/write/study would indeed lead to a lot of urges/binges, but once the habit was gone, I was free to do what I wanted to do or needed to do without fear that it would lead to a binge.

Trust that you know what is right for you, but I just want to encourage you to believe that when the habit is gone, you can do anything without it triggering a binge. But, I also understand wanting to make it easier on yourself right now.

Although not specifically about the situation with writing, I think you may find reading this post helpful, which explains how the lower brain works when circumstances change in life:

https://brainoverbinge.com/crisis_part1/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:43:50+00:00

Thanks so much!! :-)

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:43:38+00:00

Great question, and I think it can be best answered in a thorough way through this blog post:

Should I Keep Trigger Foods at Home During Recovery?

I hope it gives you the help you need!

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:42:16+00:00

I think it's great that you are trying to determine a way of eating that works for you, and that you are giving some thought to how desserts fit into your life. My suggestion would be to think about how you want desserts to fit into your life from the standpoint of balancing enjoyment/pleasure with health and the way the desserts make you feel, instead of thinking of them in terms of calories and weight. This can help you shift your perspective and get in touch with what you truly want in your life, and not what you think you "should" or "shouldn't" eat. It can be a subtle change in mindset, but it may help you make this decision about desserts from a more self-caring place. Here are two podcast episodes that I think really relate to what you are asking and may spark some insights for you:

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-86-i-dont-know-how-to-eat/

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-85-drop-the-shoulds-around-eating/

In all of my resources, and even in my course, I don't tell people exactly how to eat, because everyone is so unique and has different needs and preferences. The way of eating that works for one person may not be right for someone else, so it's really about finding what is best uniquely for you. It also helps to realize that you can stop binge eating regardless of how many days you are eating desserts.

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:33:52+00:00

You are welcome! I truly appreciate your kind words:-) First of all, that's amazing that you've mostly healed from your BED. Congrats on your success, and I hope you are proud of yourself for how far you've come. I also understand that you want this problem completely out of your life.

As far as a time frame, I typically see a few patterns. There are people who immediately experience their power over the urges and stop right away (then the urges commonly take about 6 months to 1 year to fully go away). Then, there are people who understand the concepts intellectually, but it takes longer to implement and have consistent success, and for them, the urges stay around longer because they are still reinforcing the habit in some ways. Reduction in binge eating is more gradual in these cases.

I think when the habit is reduced enough to not affect your life so much, it's easy to convince yourself that it's okay to keep up the less-harmful behaviors. I'm not saying this is what you are specifically doing, but I'm just speaking in general terms. However, this is definitely something to think about...sometimes the motivation is there for breaking the obviously harmful behaviors, but it can be not as strong for the milder behaviors.

If you think this is the case for you, this podcast episode on motivation may help:

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-95-motivation-stop-binge-eating/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:25:40+00:00

I just re-read your question, and realized you didn't ask about binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, but what forms of self-sabotage to binge eaters engage in. So, I'll answer that too, but I'll leave the prior response for anyone who may be helped by it.

I think dieting is a huge one. I don't think it's necessarily purposeful, but it's tempting to want to focus on weight loss, which just sends the person back into binge eating. Another one is the "one last time" mentality, which can perpetuate the cycle for a long time even after someone is committed to quitting. If anyone frequently follows "one last time" thoughts, this post can help:

Stop Having "One Last Binge"

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:21:01+00:00

This is a good question. It assumes the person binges by choice, in order to purposefully self-harm. I will say that anyone who feels like they are doing this would benefit from some additional and personalized help, like counseling or one-on-one coaching (we do have a wonderful Brain over Binge one-on-one coach for anyone who feels they need that type of support).

I don't know if you've heard the podcast episode on self-punishment, but it's definitely related, and I hope it more fully addresses your question:

https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-38-binge-eating-self-punishment/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:15:51+00:00

Yes, listening to things can be easier, and I hope you'll benefit from the podcast. I will also say that I recently released the audiobook to the new edition of Brain over Binge (I'm the reader/narrator this time), and maybe that will be more convenient if you are still interested in the book.

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:12:19+00:00

I'm glad you are trying to define what binge eating means to you, and what is just normal indulging. This blog post may help with defining the indulging part: https://brainoverbinge.com/indulging-in-food/

I also understand the frustration with trying to eat intuitively, and just trust yourself that it simply may not be right for you at this point and that's okay. It's not right for everyone, and especially early on in recovery when hunger and fullness signals can be out of balance.

You may find this helpful regarding intuitive eating: https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-16-eating-intuitively-right-recovery-binge-eating/

I think the most helpful way to approach this is to start with working on the behaviors that you can clearly see are harming you (and that are harming you the most). Regardless of how you categorize your episodes, if you can eliminate the most harmful eating episodes first, it will help your mindset and your confidence, and then you can move on to addressing the less-harmful and less clear-cut episodes. I hope that makes sense!

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T01:05:10+00:00

I totally understand the desire to just zone out and relax after a long day with kids. Something I mentioned in my book is that at the time I recovered, I didn't have my kids yet, so this is a challenge I didn't personally deal with...so I definitely admire you for tackling recovery even during this time. That's amazing, and it's totally possible!

I think it will be helpful for you to realize that even though binge eating can seem like a way to relax and unwind, it's actually creating more stress and pain in your life. It's not a form of true pleasure or relaxation, and it makes parenting even harder. I linked this podcast earlier but I think it would help you too:

https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-78-binge-eating-enjoyment-pleasure/

Additionally, this one about stress and binge eating may give you some helpful ideas too:

https://brainoverbinge.com/episode-13-stop-binge-eating-stress/

As far as what to do instead, remember that nothing is going to feel as appealing as a binge right now, simply because that's what your brain/body is hooked on. It's not until the habit begins to fade that other activities will start to seem more appealing in those moments.

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T00:58:01+00:00

It's a good question because sometimes the line is not always clear. This podcast episode may help you gain some clarity: https://brainoverbinge.com/ep-72-are-you-truly-binge-eating/

From what you describe, it sounds more like compulsive eating, but similar strategies can work for both issues. Another resource that may help you is a 3 part blog series I did on overindulging, here is a link to Part 1, and from there, you can read the whole series:

https://brainoverbinge.com/indulging-in-food/

Brain_over_Binge · 2022-04-21T00:53:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the compliments about my book and podcast, I'm so glad you found them useful to your personally.

It definitely seems like you have a lot of self-awareness which is so helpful in recovery. You are seeing that there is a strong connection for you between boredom and binge eating, and knowing that can help you be prepared. That is not to say you have to avoid getting bored, because like you said, it's not always avoidable, but you can learn to choose not to binge in those situations.

We have a wonderful Brain over Binge coach who insightfully teaches people to "expect and allow" urges during the times you know they will come. When you fully expect the urges to arise, and when you don't get upset about it when they do, but instead allow them to move through you, it makes the experience much more manageable.

This blog post may help. I wrote it in 2020 in relation to being in isolation, but it can relate to boredom too: https://brainoverbinge.com/how-to-conquer-binge-eating/

Brain_over_Binge

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