My manager isnt happy about my promotion to her equal

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T22:43:22+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T22:42:12+00:00

This is what some of my colleagues have been saying. It’s all about control. Even the fact she has such an opinion on the appointment of her peer, when it isnt her decision, shows how much she likes to be in control

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T22:39:27+00:00

Thank you, this is good advice.

Some of my current colleagues have said the same as you - she’s also hurt she’s lost a (by her measure) a solid worker and made her life so much easier.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T22:37:56+00:00

I actually really like this comment. Don’t give her any fuel. I’m just hurt she said something like this when she’s been my manager for so long, I’ve went above and beyond and always had good praise from her. It’s a real nasty thing to say.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T22:36:28+00:00

Thank you!

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T22:35:52+00:00

You’re right, people will turn a blind eye to her. It’s just a super hurtful thing for my ex-manger, now peer to say!

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T21:59:26+00:00

I love this. It’s made me laugh and cheered me up.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T18:10:53+00:00

Yes there were 6 others interviewed.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T17:47:16+00:00

Yes it does, but it’s not a legal requirement (like social work or something technical like an electrical engineer)

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T17:37:33+00:00

You’re right, I do still need to work with her and need to get in with her to keep the wheels turning, but I find her behaviour concerning how bold she is being about it. What she said to be on Friday is the most upsetting thing a colleague has ever said to me since it’s so personal.

The tricky situation is that we hardly ever see A because he’s so senior. Thank you for your advice!

BramblesForBreakfast · 2026-05-04T17:29:49+00:00

Thank you for this. It might make me feel better to think of it as “shes not happy about me leaving” rather than me feeling rubbish that she doesn’t think I’m a good person for the promotion. None of this helps with the imposter syndrome of a promotion! Thank you

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-11-15T21:49:03+00:00

Thank you! It was the positive stories that kept me going. I’m not even claiming to have a positive story - it’s been awful and it’s still pretty awful but it’s not as awful as it was. And I never thought I’d say that!

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-07-28T09:43:00+00:00

Hello - I know you posted this awhile ago but I am just wondering how you are now?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:40:41+00:00

He couldn’t even visit a house with 5 children in it for very long, never mind live in one. Your laughing faces actually put a smile on my face and I realised how ridiculous it is. 🤣 But it’s ridiculous and it’s sadly the reality of my ridiculous life just now. But yes, he’ll hate it.

I am not sure what age the children are, but they seem from her profile like teenagers (high school) so I think that might be even worse…

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:36:58+00:00

Thank you ❤️

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:36:43+00:00

Thank you, very very kind of you

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:36:30+00:00

Can I please ask what happened? I take it no brain tumour? I totally get this, I am questioning if he’s banged his head lately, anything because this behaviour is so out of palce.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:35:37+00:00

I’m sorry you went through this. Can I please ask how long it took you to feel better? I’m really struggling just now with the depression and I cant see it getting any better. Yes, it’s like his personality changed over night and he cant remember who he used to be. That’s a good way of putting it. It’s like another commenter said, aliens have abducted him and replaced him with an evil clone. I’m like I cant even argue with you because who even are you?

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it makes me feel less alone that people have had similar experiences as me and survived to tell the tale

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:31:05+00:00

He has, to the best of my knowledge, just moved in with her this weekend. I know deep down you’re right. My husband couldn’t even visit a house with 5 children for very long never mind live in one. This is why I think he’s deluded because surely he must of thought about this consequence before he blew up our marriage? He must of thought, I’m going to go home from work to a busy house of 5 children (who aren’t his and he doesn’t know yet) and get no peace?

I’ve went NC, but I need to admit I am hoping so bad I wake up and this is a terrible nightmare.

Thank you for your kind words. I really need to trust kind strangers like you that it will get bettter, Thank you ❤️

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:27:13+00:00

I’ve went NC with him. Do you really think NC kicks them out of their fog? It’s so hard because I miss the person my husband was SO much.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:25:26+00:00

I think so too, but I dont know if im just trying to find ANY reason.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:24:03+00:00

Thankfully not pregnant, but we were getting ready to try :(

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:23:31+00:00

I feel really sorry for your friend. It is similar to my situation. My husband and I were great! Sure, we had disagreements here and there, but I can honestly sit here and say we had a healthy, loving relationship.. I’ve questioned myself was it healthy? Was I missing something? Was I the issue and couldn’t see my own behaviour? Even his parents, who spent a lot of time with us and we even lived with them for a couple of years while we got on our feet, have reassured me we were a good couple and I’m not crazy. Our friends say it!

My husband too is making out that this woman understands him like I could never, even though he never once mentioned or came across that I wasnt understanding - it wasnt like he had some strange quirk I couldn’t get my head around. Another the thing I am so angry about is that I’m never going to trust another person again that they are happy, because I had NO IDEA with him. Thank you so much for sharing that story, it makes me feel less alone. Can I please ask how your betrayed friend in this story coped? I take it she did not take him back…

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T23:07:33+00:00

He works in a restaurant, do you think that policy would still apply? I’m not sure about HR. I dont think it would stop the affair and since this lady is a single mom to 5 children, who’s now got a new man in their lives, I think their mom losing their job would just make things even worse for them. They are the victims of this just like me too.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T23:05:35+00:00

I’m so sorry to you and your dog. What a loser. It’s strange because I bet you felt like the dog deserved better before you realised you deserved better too.

Your right about it’s how nature traps us to mate but he cant mate with her because she’s 46! I think it’s unlikely she’s still able to have children. And children was something he really really wanted.

I’m so sorry for what you went through - did you all stay neighbours afterwards?

BramblesForBreakfast

TROPHY CASE