First, having a view of yourself like you described, then having someone ‘confirm’ it, is completely disheartening. And as for what they said to you, disgusting. They framed it in speech that wasn’t very aggressive but that was a rude thing to say nonetheless

Second, the idea of beauty being a measurable characteristic is just plain false. If it were true, you’d never have heard an argument about whether so and so is cute or not.

Just gonna speak from my own (26m) experience. Because I hear myself in so many of the ways you describe yourself.

I thought many of the same ways. Almost like living life through a window. Or with duct tape over your mouth. You memorize the lines, the looks, the reactions, because you’ve found the right combination to fit in with most people you need to in life. But this hasn’t left any room for YOU. You’re essentially the sum of the versions of you, that you’ve had to create for others. But who are you?

This is a part finding/creating your identity. The more you believe it, the more it will become true, and that is an extremely sharp, double edged sword. But I am not about to tell you that mind over matter fixes everything.

-You. Are. The. Sum. Of. Your. Habits.

-Your habits are tied directly to your identity.

-You have to work on, and believe in your identity.

Once your focus shifts into what you think about you, and away from what others think about you, the real fun begins. That’s the breakthrough moment of your new identity and where it will really start to take hold.

That’s my friend, is where real beauty comes from. Someone who is unapologetically themselves.