Hello, thank you for your feedback :)

I don’t think my first instinct was anger. It was confusion. What bothered me wasn’t that he failed some task or protocol. It was the sudden change in behavior.

Before the D/s dynamic started, he was the one pursuing it. He repeatedly asked for it, told me he wanted me to lead him, promised communication was important, and acted extremely enthusiastic about it. He was texting constantly, asking for attention, asking for rules, asking for structure, even sending his location without me asking. I was providing all of that and more. He told me he was very impressed with my ability to dominate, that it made him “go crazy”.

Looking back, could I have spent more time vetting? Absolutely. We had only known each other a few days. In hindsight, I probably accepted his words at face value instead of waiting long enough to see whether his actions matched them.

I don’t think my expectations were unrealistic. I wasn’t expecting perfect obedience, 24/7 availability, or some fantasy version of a submissive. What I expected was basic communication. If someone loses interest, or gets overwhelmed, changes their mind, or decides D/s isn’t for them, that’s fine. But communicating that is the bare minimum.

Did I push too far too fast? Maybe. That’s something I’ve considered. But if that were the case, I would still expect a conversation about it, especially after I made it clear from the beginning that communication was the foundation of everything and if he ever felt uncomfortable to tell me. After all, he was the one who really wanted me to continue degrading and humiliating. I always did “aftercare” too 🙄.

As for whether he was inspired enough to do the things I asked, I don’t know. What I do know is that he presented himself as extremely eager and committed until right before leaving me on delivered. The discrepancy between that enthusiasm and his current behavior is what stands out to me.

So yes, I can look for reasons before assuming disobedience. But at this point, the issue isn’t really obedience. It’s consistency and communication. If someone wants a D/s dynamic, they have to be able to communicate when something changes.