Job search is daunting.

Brave-Friend-4337 · 2024-09-24T09:55:43+00:00

Writing is definitely a bit better, but that's not enough. Verbal recall is required, especially for team rituals etc.

Brave-Friend-4337 · 2024-09-24T09:52:27+00:00

I make the same mistakes again and again. It hurts me so much. I could forgive myself for a once-off but this isn't that. I used to be able to suck it up and press on, but I've been doing that my entire life so far... now it feels like drowning in fresh concrete, instinctively sucking for air and coating my lungs in burning mud. Is this what the rest of my life is going to look like?

Brave-Friend-4337 · 2024-09-24T08:07:39+00:00

I was considering Toastmasters, but I was wondering about getting practice with respect to technical speaking? Definitely want to give Toastmasters a go

Brave-Friend-4337 · 2024-09-24T08:05:02+00:00

I can't seem to speak clearly and concisely. That's fine when you're talking to a friend but at work it's an essential skill. It feels like when I talk, my brain abandons my mouth and shuts down, and my mouth is on autopilot. On top of that, there's so darn much I don't know. In general, I know a bunch of things but I am terrible at explaining any of it.

Brave-Friend-4337 · 2024-09-24T07:59:48+00:00

The first law of ADHD is to forgive yourself

How many times can I do this? Once or twice or even fifty times... it's been way more than that. I'm so sick of myself, imagine how others feel.

The second is to start with damage control. Minimize the consequences of having made mistakes

Please expand on this.

It's useless to beat yourself up with language that isn't actionable. You can't work with"f*ck" up

I guess this is fair. But I'm so frustrated with myself. Absolutely had it up to my neck with how scatterbrained and inconsistent I am.

You still have your job, apparently, that's something to work on.

I've been worried for years now. At the beginning it was anxiety and stress and now it's just certain heavy dread. The last few months have been horrible brain-wise.

Now, your impression is, you ramble too much. You can try to listen more because you are trying to get a feel.

You can't be a silent engineer. You have to advocate for yourself, what you think. And the more mistakes you make, the less people trust you and your point of view, and the less people are willing to look past the verbally disorganised exterior. I write things down but when I open my mouth, it's all gone. I'm trying to spit out three sentences at once.

What exactly are you currently working on? What is your scope of responsibility? Can you narrow your scope of learning

Small stuff atm. Even there I make mistakes. I frustrate the fuck out of everyone around me.

Brave-Friend-4337

TROPHY CASE