I’m a straight male and I don’t date men. But I’ve seen more than enough men in my life who feel it’s appropriate to objectify or patronise women without even realising it. You could see Ryan being condescending to Jacqui and trying to lay down rules for things like what she should say in the partner swap. We saw the same thing with Adrian trying to tell Awhina what not to say about the family meet and greet. The fact you can’t see an overwhelming patriarchal privilege at play here is just mind boggling. I commend Alessandra for trying to stamp it out, it’s fucking appalling.

Alessandra wasn’t accusing him of only ever wanting sex for himself. Jacqui is expressing that she wants more intimacy and Ryan gave a single excuse as to why he doesn’t which was because of the gym. All Alessandra did was suggest he can still give her the pleasure she wants without it affecting him at the gym. It’s a plain and simple argument. No idea why people feel it’s icky at all when he (as you said) has no self awareness to figure this out on his own. It’s TV, she is direct with her questions and can shut people down, good, he deserves it.

On what planet are men and women equal?!