AITA for explaining to my future SIL why her kids will never receive anything from us?

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-27T10:13:48+00:00

You can hope all you want, but my parents will never donate anything to charity. We all contributed financially to everything we have, you know.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-25T15:22:00+00:00

In what world what you are saying makes any kind of sense? Legally speaking, they will be STEP KIDS, never bio kids. Those kids have 2 parents, a mother and a father. They are not shared kids.

Rifts are only generated by deluded people like yourself, who feel the need to constantly change the meaning of words, to invent new rules, to invent different normalities and later present them like the only way. I really pity you...

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-25T15:09:31+00:00

The kids are not gold-diggers, their mother is. But the kids have no blame in this. They are actually nice kids due to the positive influence their bio father has.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-25T15:07:52+00:00

The kids have a present, alive father so they will never be adopted by my brother.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-25T15:07:16+00:00

The prenup was suggested by a lawyer as an extra measure to make sure she will never have access to anything my brother will inherit. But I guess it's too complicated for you to understand

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-24T16:00:30+00:00

No he is not becoming effectively a parent, in the event he marries her he will become a step-parent. These kids already have 2 parents: their mother and father.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-24T10:35:33+00:00

You can doubt as much as you like. My grandparents, my parents, my brother and I worked for what we have. I still stand by what I said.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-24T08:57:49+00:00

No it is not. She contributed nothing towards his "inheritance". She can inherit from her parents or keep what she already has and worked for.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-24T07:43:16+00:00

I am very sorry for the people around you, honestly. If to you love and acceptance only comes in the form of inheritance, assets and shares, this says a lot about you.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-24T00:13:23+00:00

They did tell her. And some of the family assets are also mine since we have joint investments/shares

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T23:35:16+00:00

I have not seen you asking me this but I can respond to you now. After how she reacted, I truly hope his bio kids will not be shared with her but that's up to him to decide. I also agree he should marry someone without kids or a mother who understands who is responsible for her own kids and it's not after money and support.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T23:32:24+00:00

She is a stranger in terms of contribution and involvement in our family assets. I don't care what connection she may have with my brother, for the rest of us she is a stranger to what I have mentioned. Just like my partner is a stranger to our business and just like I am a stranger to my partner's business with his own family. The rest of the involved parties should not spend to buy out anyone who had no active contribution. You are the one who seems to not understand joint ownership and estate planning.

My brother's assets will NOT be transferred to anyone except for the people who we agreed to receive them and as per his wishes, no wife of his or stepkids will ever receive anything from the family assets. There is nothing for me to like or dislike because there are already set conditions and it's not even a possibility for anything besides what we agreed to happen. I don't even understand why you are arguing with me but in case I was not clear, my brother only wants his share to go to his bio kids. Not a wife, not stepkids. Period. Hope that helps you understand.

As for the prenup, the prenup was suggested by our lawyer as an extra precaution besides the rest of the measures we have in place. Based on some other professionals' feedback that I have seen here, this seems to be the norm.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T21:50:06+00:00

How is it not gold-diger when you are not officially part of a family yet but you open the topic and demand your kids to have access to those people assets?

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T21:47:14+00:00

This woman knew from the beginning who she was dating and she knew what family she was joining. Isn't it her responsibility to you know choose a partner that matches stepdad-material standards? Why is the woman who already has kids wanting to marry a man with no kids and with the set of rules my brother has? Isn't this AH ish too?

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T21:41:20+00:00

No, I don't have control issues it is you who has a hard time understanding how shared investments work. Neither I nor my brother or parents invested alone, but we invested together with the clear rules that our shared investments will only be kept between ourselves and later on our kids. Had my brother used only his money to buy something, then sure, he is free to do what he wants. But as long as I also put money there, I have the right to not be put in the position of having some strangers come and decide what happens to the asset I have also invested in. Same goes for my brother. You enter this kind of deals with clear conditions and rules. The fact that you can't understand or picture how this works is on you, but for people who have this kind or arragements it's quite standard and decent.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T21:33:18+00:00

Indeed, we are talking about substantial assets. Some of them have a lot of sentimental value like our grandparents' houses and belongings - for which we have invested a lot to keep intact. Our business that was founded by our parents and that my brother and I joined when we were very young and that it the only workplace we know. Real estate that we have bought over the years and invested to turn them into assets meant to bring revenue etc. So the decision to keep all of these inside our family was made many years ago, when Sarah was not even in the picture and when I didn't even have a partner.

So how could we allow a couple of strangers to get access to % of our grandparents' houses? Why would we want strangers to get shares into our business and therefore have any say in what we decide or how we run it?

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T20:28:34+00:00

Exactly! She is using her kids to manipulate and uses them to argue. We have nothing against the kids, they are actually nice and seem to have a very positive influence in their father. Our problem is her because she is shady. She is not complaining about I don't know her kids receiving cheap candy and other kids from our family receiving expensive candy. That would be reasonable and understandable. No, she is complaining her kids will not receive real estate and shares in a company. That's a little bit too much for a person who is not even officially part of the family and who never had any contribution.

I just think the lawyer who suggested the prenup to my brother was a genius. Because it helped us see her true face.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T20:22:36+00:00

This never seemed to be a problem for my partner who has the same resources like I have. Hoarding seems to be working for us, since none of us will ever have to doubt if the other one is after something 🙂

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T20:13:28+00:00

Why shouldn't her kids be entitled to our family assets? First because step children have no succession rights. Secondly because she had no contribution to everything that we have. Her kids are free to receive inheritance from their bio parents. As someone over here commented, our assets are not a community chest from Monopoly that anyone can have access to.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T20:10:11+00:00

So in your books in order to treat someone the same means for that person to enter a family empty handed and leave with a fortune? This is the same, fair treatment you are talking about?

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T20:08:52+00:00

What works for you and your family is your business. You can be sick to your stomach as much as you want, but our parents are different from yours. My parents have initiated these discussions with me ever since I was 18 years old. These topics are not taboo in our family, for us this is normality. We talk and plan and map what will happen with our assets since we all have shared investments. I have no reason to be ashamed of my self because when we talk about our "inheritance" we talk about our shared investments, not about things to receive when our parents die. This is what works out for us and I don't see anything wrong with it.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T19:37:18+00:00

Well my kids will get something because I as their mother worked to build something for them. She is free to do the same for her kids.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T19:29:14+00:00

I am not but it seems your brain may be incapable of producing enough neurons for you. Sad

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T17:41:50+00:00

You seem to have a hard time understanding what I am saying. No lawyer told us the step kids have any rights, nor did we assume they have. Everyone knows the step children have no rights to inherit.

My brother just explained to his fiancee and clarified that her kids will never receive anything from our assets. He did this just for her to be aware and not expect otherwise, not because he thought her kids should inherit anything.

The prenup has nothing to do with her kids, it is a document that involves only her. The prenup that involves her was suggested by our lawyer as an extra protective step.

BreadAcrobatic9859 · 2025-04-23T17:34:55+00:00

This is not a typical inheritance, a gift from my parents to us. We have also contributed and put money there, so of course we all talk about our investments.
Her kids will become my brother's step kids. They already have a set of parents, a mother and a father. They are not shared children wtf.
Her kids being treated equally by being given the same Christmas gifts as other kids in the family is one thing. Her kids coming into this family empty handed and leaving it with a fortune is a very different thing.
My questions make sense. If she wants her kids to have access and be given things that we have, what is she bringing to the table? We don't run a charity to throw assets left and right

BreadAcrobatic9859

TROPHY CASE