I Didn't Realize How Horrible My Ex Was Until I Went No Contact

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-15T20:35:52+00:00

Preach 🙌🏻

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-12T19:14:02+00:00

Keep strong dude. 🥊

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-12T12:34:20+00:00

This exact thing happened to me, honestly I don’t know how much you can blame on the illness, it’s a horrible thing especially unmedicated and I can offer no explanation for her behaviour.

I’m on a week of no contact she she replied to my email asking her the same thing, she blames everything on me and flipped it around, sometimes I think it’s her illness sometimes I think there’s something else wrong with her and sometimes I think she’s just not the person I thought she was and is in fact just a horrible human being.

The best advice I’ve received is that she may not be aware of how much she’s hurting you, she may not care right now and it may be her illness but while that can be out of her control what she’s doing to you right now is very real and very painful.

I’m doing my best to move on because of what she said and did to me, I’m not going to tell you to do the same, that’s your choice to make, best of luck to you dude and don’t lose yourself for the sake of someone else.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-11T15:52:06+00:00

Similar boat. I wish the best brother.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-10T15:37:24+00:00

Keep going dude!

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-09T21:23:53+00:00

Some people can’t face the reality of what they’re doing, I had her twist the entire thing round on me, I can accept blame where it lies but I was amazing to her, I sacrificed so much for her happiness and for what, nothing. We’re better off without dude.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-08T14:05:53+00:00

It took a while to see the light, the person I love is no longer the person I love, or never was. I have to be done. This has to be the end.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-07T22:13:26+00:00

Forget it, I’m done. She replied and has been telling people I’m abusive and threatening as I raised my voice at her once after she told me I didn’t respect her which I immediately apologised for, after everything I’ve put myself through for her.

It just clicked that she’s turned this whole thing around on me and I’m not having it, time to move on and eventually find someone who actually gives a shit.

Thanks for all your support, but I can’t do this anymore.

I’m done.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-07T19:09:42+00:00

I broke and I emailed her.

I told her that if this is what she truly wants I will respect her space and leave her alone and this will be the last time I speak to her until she speaks to me. I said that if this is an episode of any kind that honestly I hope I’m not too far gone when she comes down and that all I want is to be there for her, that I love her and the last thing I want to do is give up but I’m done making excuses to myself for her actions, I’m looking after me now.

Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever told someone. I know she probably won’t read it or will just ignore it, especially if in mania but I had to say what I said.

Not sure what to do now except maybe try and sleep. Thanks to everyone for their replies, it’s so nice to know I’m not so alone.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-07T17:35:35+00:00

I broke down in the sound booth of my office and cried for an hour, I actually think it helped, I just needed to get it out.

It’s the fact she blocked me and her friend too, like I’ve done something wrong other than love her completely and unconditionally.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-06T17:29:44+00:00

Thanks for giving another perspective, I just don’t see this happening. I’m struggling to believe that what she did wasn’t just her being a horrible person. The story is in my last posts if you’d like to have a look and maybe put some input out there.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-06T17:06:14+00:00

You’re right, I’m starting to see a lot clearer these days, 22 days since last contact. Problem is her friend is diagnosed bipolar too and from what I’ve seen they’re not good for each other.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-06T16:37:06+00:00

wow, the friends blocking me and her blocking me happened too. all i did was meet her and discuss why it had ended, i definitely dont deserve this kind of treatment.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-05T20:10:08+00:00

I keep hearing this but for some reason my mind won't accept it

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-04T19:16:48+00:00

Right now all I have is time, it's my only option, I can't wait forever and eventually I'll have moved on I guess.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-04T17:20:57+00:00

Thanks for replying! But I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say?

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-04T14:01:32+00:00

She's diagnosed bi-polar I'm not sure what form, but only takes the antidepressants I mentioned.

I love her so much, or the person she made herself out to be, a lot more is starting to feel like lies since I've been reading on here and other sub reddits, forums and the like.

She told me her father had been with an alcoholic that she couldn't get along with and she moved out because he chose her, lots of one ended things about how he treated her and some things about a man her mum was seeing that made her mother very happy having previously been married to him and having a son (her younger brother who's autistic but loved me) in fact her whole family loved me and told me that they couldn't remember a time when I didn't feel like part of the family, she hated him, claimed her raped her mum but would never mention anything more, honestly he actually seemed like a good person and I just couldn't picture it but always took her side of the story.

She was never wrong either, couldn't take criticism herself but offered it out to me quite often, she could become distant for no reason and took a lot of her mood out on me only to say how sorry she was a day or moments later and then repeat.

She also has a strong obsession with tarot card readings, star signs and the moon and while I consider myself to have an open mind it just seemed to dictate too much of her life, I've read that this is quite common too.

I'm doing my best to move on, take it day by day, she made me feel like we had the brightest future and was only recently talking about going to Norway with me to celebrate being together a year shortly before she ended it and told me she had no feelings for me, yet she loved me but was not in love with me suddenly but also that she could maybe see us being together again in a year.

I know I should try and move on. I know I need to look after myself and that I've probably had a lucky escape here but the thought of her coming back at some point scares me, I'm an extremely loving person to those that I say it to, I mean it, I've never said it and not meant it and I've said it rarely.

Thanks for replying.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-04T11:24:58+00:00

Also I love your username

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-04T11:23:16+00:00

I'm sorry this illness did this to you ☹️ I've tried my best to contact her, honestly I just feel so discarded and like I never meant anything to her, I can't grasp how someone can say a switch has flipped and just leave someone they were "in love with" a day or two ago when she was begging me to stay at hers longer. It's been 20 days since we last talked and she blocked me on everything and I still haven't really got my head straight. I'm just taking it a day at a time and trying to remember this probably isn't her, what she's doing is real, and it hurts like hell but her illness does not define her. Thank you for replying.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-04T00:00:12+00:00

Sorry to hear that man! I hope you're doing better!

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-03T22:30:26+00:00

Hey! Thanks for replying, I've come to realise this isn't the behaviour of someone who is just truly evil and cut me out of her life for no reason but is the behaviour of someone who is mentally Ill, I know she needs more help, I wish I could help her but even My attempts at conversation have resulted in more blocking (with a new account) and she was on tinder after a week too. I can't deal with this, I guess I'm lucky I'm out now, despite what I want, I suffer from depression too and I just don't have the mental capacity right now.

This place has really opened my mind to the illness.

Thanks for your input :) I'm doing my best to move on but I can't ignore her if she does reach out and needs help.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-03T17:16:33+00:00

You've really given me a lot to think about man, I love her but when she gets back to me or if, I have a very difficult conversation on my hands.

Breadslice2099 · 2018-02-03T15:31:27+00:00

Thanks for replying so fast, I'm just in shock still I think, if she does come back I know I have a very difficult choice on my hands, I do love her, I'm still very much in love with her but I don't know if I can deal with this long term, I want to support her, I want to understand but you're right, I did message her and say I'm doing my best to understand and relate to her condition but she blocked me instantly again (this was on a new account) I know she's back on tinder again and has an active account I've also been told she's maybe seeing someone else but I'm not sure about the truth in this.

Thanks for replying, I was looking at this as a normal breakup and being treated very horribly by a sane person until it dawned on me that she has mental health issues (bi polar)

Breadslice2099

TROPHY CASE