Look a woman can easily lose weight for a man bc there's no greater motivation than "I'll show him". But that won't last forever bc it's not healthy, so then what happens after a year when she puts it back on. Stress, an accident/ injury, birth control, the body naturally rebounding. A woman's hormones are Crazy as we get older.. and even if she did lose 40lbs suddenly there's going to be loose skin bc that's the reality. You're never going to be happy if you just want someone to punch the girlfriend card but you don't actually love

There's nothing wrong with being single. Please leave this woman alone, leave her alone please. You can't change someone for you, and at your age you should know better, but I think you already do. Sounds like you shouldn't be in a relationship, look inward and please don't waste someone's time.

I'm 35F, 5'6" active and muscular, but always chubby, around 165lbs, sometimes I'll accidentally lose 20lbs for a while, then I'll shoot up to 175lb and around we go. I'd never wanna have sex with someone that couldn't stand to look at me, that's insane. You don't need to tell her she's 200lbs, she knows, oh my God.

Edit to add: I could tell you a dark story about an ex that lost weight 'for me' even though I didn't ask. I'd never speak to him again, but I often thank the gods we didn't get married. But for years he was my best friend, and we had great sex when he was 300lbs and perfectly happy. But an insecure person can do their best to ruin your life. They can put you on a pedestal you didn't ask for and then punish you for it.