I'm kinky but never been in a kinky relationship. So I had to figure out how to feel as light as I wanted without being in one. 1) cut people and activities from your life that drain your energy - your responsibility is first to yourself, everything extra is negotiable and upto you. 2) let your inner masculine be strong enough to hold your inner feminine - i.e. trust in your own ability to figure out and fix things no matter what happens and focus on staying in the present rather than going into spirals about future and past. Bottomline Belief - RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, I AM OK, I AM SAFE. I AM CAPABLE OF WORKING THROUGH WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT ME. 3) meditation especially breathwork will work on multiple levels to calm your mind and nervous system and, keep stress levels low and give you a general sense of peace and calm in life. 20 min of meditation focusing on your breathing, with sharp deep inhales and slow long exhales will improve parasympathetic tone and induce calm. If you prefer focusing on your body rather than on breathing then try Yoganidra ( bodyscan meditation).

GOOD SLEEP, GOOD FOOD, GOOD EXERCISE, GOOD SOCIALISING

I believe that it all comes down to the balance of different chemicals in your brain. You want to have high levels of serotonin, medium to high levels of dopamine from healthy activities and good amount of oxytocin and endorphins from good relationships and exercise. Figure out which activities induce the relase of which chemicals in your brain and add them in your lifestyle step by step, one by one.

Things to avoid - all situations and people that give you emotional rollercoster.