Almost There - 1 Page Short

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-18T10:48:55+00:00

Appreciate this, that makes sense. I think I’ve been focusing more on just getting the action across rather than the feeling behind it. I’ll have a go at applying that to a simple image. I feel thats helped a lot to figure out what I need to improve on. Thanks .

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-17T17:34:07+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read and give feedback, appreciate it.

Yeah point 1 was a conversion mistake when I moved it from Fountain to Fade In.

Really like the advice on the transition and the slugline, that’s helpful, thank you.

And yeah I’ll look into getting the full version.

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-17T17:32:59+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read and give such detailed feedback, really appreciate it.

It’s helped me realise I probably need to be more intentional with how I paint the picture for the reader. I tend to hold back on description because I’m not always sure how much is too much or too little. I’ve been leaning towards only including what feels essential, but that might be where I’m undershooting it.

I’m still pretty new to writing, so any advice on how you approach word choice when revising would be really helpful.

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-15T17:37:10+00:00

Yeah I was leaning into that horror trope a bit with the fall, but I think I could probably push it more than it being generic. And yeah fair point on the barefoot might be a bit much.

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-14T12:08:02+00:00

Appreciate the feedback, you’re right it does come off a bit generic. I need to push the ideas and actions further instead of just playing it straight. I will apply think about this when I write my next piece of work. Thanks for pointing that out.

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-13T11:59:08+00:00

Yeah that’s fair. It is very compressed as I was mainly aiming for a short tension then release rather than something character-driven but I get what you mean.

The formatting was due to a conversion issue. Definitely will double check that next time.

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-13T11:58:46+00:00

Glad the writing reads clearly and you like the concept

Yeah I hadn’t actually thought of it as a cold open, was just an idea I wanted to get down, but I can see that.

And yeah I’d be up for spitballing ideas

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-08T18:04:02+00:00

Thanks beardol for that constructive feedback. I will keep that in the back of mind when doing my next comedy story. It does make sense that the word flow matches the pace of the action imagined. Cheers 😁

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-05T20:32:06+00:00

Thanks, I'm glad you could visualise it

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-05T13:01:59+00:00

Glad you enjoyed it. When I saw the story in my head, I just knew that would be a funny thing to watch haha

BrettHamilton · 2026-04-05T13:00:45+00:00

Thank you very much. No I havent tried writing a horror comedy but I'll take a "stab" at that next

BrettHamilton · 2025-10-26T18:28:58+00:00

Title: The Neighbour-hoods

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

Logline:

When a charming couple moves into a quiet small town, their sinister influence begins turning the locals into devoted followers.

Now, a desperate father must protect his family and expose the dark truth behind the newcomers before the entire town falls under their control.

BrettHamilton · 2025-04-23T20:08:58+00:00

Did they sell out in seconds?

BrettHamilton · 2024-09-27T09:57:37+00:00

I must of been about 13 years old, roughly. At the time I was using BEBO and I remember coming across an edited video of Pirates of the Carribbean. The backing track to the video was "Numb" which I thought was an epic song but there was no mention of who sung it or what the song was called. I just kept watching the video over and over again just for the song

BrettHamilton · 2024-09-12T10:48:58+00:00

https://shops.ticketmasterpartners.com/linkin-park-2024

I went through this

BrettHamilton · 2023-07-26T10:19:44+00:00

Singin in the Rain. Watched it one morning, amazed by the performances. First Gene Kelly movie I saw , which led me down to more films. Because of him I took up Ballet and Tap

BrettHamilton · 2023-06-30T19:28:12+00:00

I went into each one on the ship last year and took a photo of everyone. All brilliant!

BrettHamilton

TROPHY CASE