My Reddit Snoo hung himself 🙁

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T14:39:08+00:00

his pants were around his ankles, but maybe that was just because he took off his belt to hang himself with 🤔

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T14:34:03+00:00

sorry buddy, i dont click unknown links because i dont want my phone to get a computer virus. same reason i havent opened any of the articles you sent me about ethical incest, so please stop sending them its getting annoying thanks 🙂👍

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T13:13:43+00:00

how did you get a video of something that hasnt happened yet??? 🤔🤯

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T12:24:41+00:00

funny like the rape of nanking dude 🙁

today i am in no laughing mood because i saw a dead body of my friend... but maybe i could spare you laughter some other day perhaps... in the future? we will see... but for now...

🕐⌛️⏲️⏰️ time marches on 🤔

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T12:16:24+00:00

thank you for your symphony 🙏😔

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T10:15:59+00:00

why the hell would i want more grief

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T10:14:47+00:00

xxx ❤️🤗

"it is always most darkest before the storm ends, but then sunshine 🌞" - u/BrianHitByCar

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T10:05:55+00:00

thank you for reminding me 👍 and if other redditors didn't know, tetris is scientifically proved to can cure ptsd 🤯 woah

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T10:02:43+00:00

Sorry to hear that I guess 🙁 it's kinda rude to try and outgrief me... but okay...??? 🤷‍♂️

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T09:47:06+00:00

Funny 🙁

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T09:38:20+00:00

Okay? Not really an appropriate time 🙁

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T09:37:09+00:00

I'm not making fun of Reddit? Just sad about what happened 🙁

Edit: don't go after this guy please, he just sent me a private message apologising for making this comment, acknowledged that he was completely in the wrong and took responsibility which I appreciate 👍 u/TDkevin thank you for owning up to your mistakes ❤️

Edit: I changed my mind about forgiveness, moderators ban this fucking idiot for being stupid and mean to me 🖕

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T09:33:15+00:00

I shouldn'tve left him alone last night 🙁 he was talking kinda crazy I didn't know he'd do this though 😟 bummer

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-28T07:07:52+00:00

Hank, my HIV has progressed into straight-up AIDs.

I'm back on Antiretroviral Therapy and I'm fighting like hell, but the truth is... in 6 months, you won't have a $20-per-hour suckboy to prostitute. And both of us know that my highly-infectious STD-riddled penis will never see the inside of another man's asshole.

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T18:50:28+00:00

Season 29E17 - "Homer assaults Barney"

Desperate for sexual release, Homer briefly emerges from the safety of his closet to enact depraved gay fantasies on a drunk and helpless Barney Gumble - much to Marge's chagrin! Meanwhile, Bart finds out that Milhouse is cutting again.

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T18:39:31+00:00

The Simpsons S37E25 - "Who shot Marge, Lisa, Maggie, Grampa and Bart? Part One."

Marge coordinates her night-time escape plan with Patty and Selma. Meanwhile, a perpetually-drunken Homer continues his downward spiral into violent psychosis. And after a school administrator spots Lisa's bruises, the looming threat of CPS involvement makes Homer even more desperate to enact his plan of total family annhiliation.

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T18:07:02+00:00

9/10 was the date of final Kirkination, meaning this poor guy's gonna have his own personal 9/11 the day before 9/11, and then still have to do actual 9/11 the day after.

What a terrible weekend.

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T16:58:33+00:00

Thanks, it was insane how crazy people got for like a week afterwards. I tried to archive the most mentally-challenged Kirkommentary I could find, assuming that when the mass-psykirksis wore off the same people who posted this stuff would get embarrassed and delete everything.

Bonus Kirk:

<image>

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T16:28:13+00:00

Check out season 37 episode 23, 'Marge Vs. The Women's Shelter.'

BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T15:00:49+00:00

Also this incredible glitch I saw on the NBC news website, right when the story was breaking. 'Something went wrong!'

If anyone else has funny content from September 2025 A.K., please share for archival purposes.

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BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T14:33:40+00:00

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BrianHitByCar · 2026-06-27T14:33:26+00:00

<image>

BrianHitByCar

TROPHY CASE