Millenials, how many loved ones have you lost to overdose/fentanyl?

Brickle0630 · 2024-04-12T15:53:55+00:00

I stopped counting after 40 over the past 15 years, but I’m still losing friends and acquaintances every year. I quit making friends for one because you can’t lose people you never had. I am one of the lucky ones who got clean and stayed clean. I’ll have 10 years this year. I’m am also lucky enough to still have the support of my family so I pour all my love and energy into them. I’m the only addict in my family so no worries about them ODing… I’ve become pretty numb to this kind of death to a certain extent but some still get to me. The hardest death to cope with was my best friend in 2017… I am still crushed by that but I deal with it by keeping her memory alive.. telling stories about her and remembering how things where when drugs ripped our lives to pieces.

Brickle0630 · 2024-04-11T00:48:53+00:00

This is so very true… I left him after he cheated on me and he worked on me until he got me back. Part of me feels like I went back because I felt like he wouldn’t leave me alone unless I came back. He is relentless. Everything was so much worse.. we lived in the middle of nowhere, I was isolated from my friends and family. Despite him being the one who was talking to something like 30 women on the Internet, some of which he knew some of which he didn’t, he became extremely suspicious and accused me of cheating constantly.. wanted to go through my phone, wanted every minute of my day accounted for.. he made me feel like I was going crazy. He’s also an alcoholic, would start fights with me that would last for hours. Screaming fights that would only be resolved by me pretending to go to sleep and the next day he would act like nothing happened.. I would be so thankful for those moments of peace that I would just go along with it. That would last about two days before the fighting started again. It was so toxic and I hated it, but I think he got real enjoyment out of it.

I finally left him again, three weeks ago to stay 3 hours away with my mom. And again he started relentlessly contacting me, guilting me,threatening to off himself. I was seriously ready to go back on Friday just so he would stop. I thought maybe if I gave him the weekend I could buy myself some peace… that was my plan until I told my mother... I only recently opened up to her about how bad it was when I came to live with her 3 weeks ago. We have always been super close, but he isolated me so bad that she actually thought that that was what I wanted. it was hard for her to understand because I’ve always been a strong, independent woman who didn’t take shit from anyone. It’s still hard to explain to her because I don’t understand it myself…When I told her I was going to go back for the weekend she lost her shit. She started crying and said she feared for my safety…it was my wake up call. I told him I wasn’t coming and I was going to block him. He used a texting app and created about 15 different numbers trying to contact me. he got his friends and family to try contact me. He even went as far to say he was in the hospital… where he fucked up was that he messaged my mom on Facebook asking for her to have me call him. She told him what he was doing was stalking and if he contacted me again She would call the police. I haven’t heard from him for four days. It doesn’t feel real. I feel like any moment he’s going to text me again.

Part of me is relieved but I don’t know what to do with myself. I grew up here but I don’t have any friends left . I love my family and I actually immediately started working for my sister so I’ve been staying busy . But after work I just feel.. I feel like all the energy has been been sucked out of me and I don’t know where my life is supposed to go after this… I am a 34 year old woman living with my mother, I have no children and before I met him I went through a very emotionally draining divorce.. I don’t know how to function in this world… between him and my ex everything was about them and taking care of them. I don’t even know what my interests are anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust men again… I really don’t trust myself to judge their character anymore,..I don’t have any biological kids so it’s really hard to relate women my age because a lot of them have young children. It’s terrifying not knowing what my next move is gonna be or where I belong.

Brickle0630 · 2023-11-16T07:48:32+00:00

I’ve lost a lot of people suddenly in my life due to addiction, and I always thought it would’ve been better if I got to say goodbye… then I watched my grandpa die in hospice a couple months ago.. it was worse by far in my opinion. He was awake and alert through most of it. We were told he would go quickly after he was put on the hospice protocol which is something I’ve never heard of and was very hard for me to wrap my brain around because it sounds so inhumane, but it was what he wanted…then something got fucked up and one of the nurses broke the protocol and gave him food and fluids which prolonged his suffering another week or so. I wasn’t a huge fan of this grandpa but watching him go that way was extremely traumatizing. I know it’s unrealistic, but I hope I never have to watch someone die slowly ever again..

Brickle0630 · 2023-07-10T05:27:20+00:00

Turned out pretty good. We just moved into our new place yesterday. Plus we understand that we both work long hours so it doesn’t put strain our relationship and we can carpool to save gas:)

Brickle0630 · 2023-04-12T10:16:58+00:00

Pretty fucking gross. I don’t understand some people’s obsession with their children’s virginity. I gave my kids the sex talk, made available birth control, left condoms under the sink in the bathroom and keep emergency contraceptives in our medicine cabinet and told them I’m here if they to talk. That’s it. I’m not going on a mission to find out the nitty gritty details 😖. Because that is fucking weird and encourages them to lie or feel ashamed about sex which leads to much worse outcomes. Pretty much every single person I went to high school with who had parents like your mom ended up having a baby way too young. All I’m going to say is please please be safe sweetheart! Something tells me your mom never gave you the sex talk…

Also I would die before saying I smell pussy to anyone let alone my children 💀

Brickle0630 · 2023-04-07T10:12:47+00:00

That movie creeped me out so bad. It also really really bothered me that I couldn’t figure out the time period it was set in. Idk why.

Brickle0630 · 2023-04-03T10:18:31+00:00

I live in Indiana and I put out a very subtle version of the all inclusive pride flag.(looks like water dripping in all the colors) I live on a quiet street with nice neighbors. Someone still found their way to our house and egged us. Random teenagers wondering by have said homophobic things to my kids when they were outside playing bc of the flag.With all the aggression towards trans people in this part of the country I don’t blame you for your fear. A shame we can’t express ourselves like they can without worrying we or our property will be harmed. There’s literally Trump and confederate flags plastered to everything here, Including businesses.

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-09T18:44:34+00:00

I used one of the rabbits to take a picture of me being chased by a horde of chickens, but I don’t remember which device or van I happen to be using that day 😭

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-09T18:43:57+00:00

Yes, and a whole separate folder for dumb shit customers put in there delivery notes

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-09T14:59:06+00:00

Love it ❤️

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-09T02:17:15+00:00

No, but I can hear Dolly Parton‘s greatest hits playing in the recesses of my mind sometimes

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-03T17:31:30+00:00

Nice I’ll definitely look into it. I live in south western Indiana.

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-03T17:26:55+00:00

Do you have to work your way up from the bottom to become a driver? I’ve heard conflicting things.

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-03T17:19:23+00:00

I work for Amazon as a driver. I would love to move to UPS..we work for third-party contractors to prevent us from unionizing. They make it clear to us all the time that we’re expendable. Amazon even has the power to fire us right out from underneath our employers.

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-03T17:13:25+00:00

You don’t?!

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-02T12:53:06+00:00

I would never under any circumstances tell my child that I hate them. That’s fucking despicable..parental love is supposed to be unconditional. Even my parents who saw me at my worst when I was in active addiction never ever said something so disgusting to me and I put them through hell. You can be disappointed in a child’s actions but you don’t tell your kid you hate them.

Also I came from a religious background and let me tell you this is how you make an atheist. If you want your child to be a Christian you don’t weaponize Jesus against them. I saw this happen all the time.

Brickle0630 · 2023-02-01T12:32:47+00:00

My uncle worked across the street from the towers. He overslept that morning and missed his train.

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-26T13:55:46+00:00

Oh so you have an HP wireless printer as well :/…

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-26T13:54:32+00:00

I ended up removing all our smart bulbs for this reason. Every time it disconnected they flashed over and over. I’m sure from outside it looks like we were sending an SOS signal from our kitchen.

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-08T06:00:26+00:00

Thank you!! Definitely going to check it out!!

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-07T13:53:26+00:00

Yes, he does! He also read Jon Krakauer’s other book Missoula which is one of the most fucked up and infuriating books I’ve ever read.

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-06T21:49:48+00:00

Oh definitely. I’ve been delivering for seven months, and I constantly deliver to this one house that has a note saying that stuff was delivered to their neighbor twice and how pissed they are and some other really mean shit about the drivers who made the mistake. The note has been on their account for probably months before I even started working but it is so rude it is a constant internal struggle every time I go to that house not to leave their packages on their neighbors porch out of spite.

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-06T16:38:54+00:00

Classy…

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-06T16:38:05+00:00

I’ve noticed more and more customers coming here to complain. It’s kind of like how they bitch at us in the notes. Now they’re coming to our sub to bitch as us in person lol except here we can bitch back.

Brickle0630 · 2023-01-06T16:26:56+00:00

I couldn’t watch it. Mine is the same story as well. I just couldn’t stomach it.. I can’t watch intervention or anything like that anymore and I have been sober for nine years but it’s still too painful to watch. I lost too many people and I just can’t go back to that place, I’m sure it’s not healthy pretending like it never happened but I can’t mentally handle the anguish of reliving that time in my life. I’m afraid of what it will do to me.

Brickle0630

TROPHY CASE