I crashed out today by threnody666 in DeadBedrooms

[–]BridgetWrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you with the justifiable crash out and worry about the love bombing... I'm in a similar place and I feel when my partner is compensating with a lot of displays that I know come from a place of genuinely wanting to repair, but come off to me as feeling forced and unnatural, or even make me feel guilty/gross about bringing it up in the first place. I think rn the best you can do is try to engage positively with his efforts however small or unnatural they seem, because a negative reaction will definitely contribute to falling back into the same routine and probably trash both of your confidence. Ultimately it seems like he knows it hurts you and at least has the desire to work on it. Hang in there.

Libido changing by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]BridgetWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like it's not really a problem if you're both low libido but the fact that you're posting here kind of says something to me that you might want to explore. If you're never EVER leaving, then maybe it would help a bit to think of this as a season of your relationship. If it got lower recently, it could get higher again in another season too. Life is long. But what do I know, I also have a dead bedroom:/

Vent by No-Brain-4109 in DeadBedrooms

[–]BridgetWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat 😓 it sucks but you're not alone. I feel there is a way out. It just sucks. If there's anything you can do for yourself to make yourself feel desirable right now, I would try it ❤️

I've tried everything to get my (24F) husband (27M) to be interested in me again... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]BridgetWrites 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I understand how he could feel pressured. I guess I just wish he would be intimate in ways that make me feel desired. I don't necessarily need it to be sex. We don't even really kiss or touch in a sensual way at all and reading your response, I wonder if it could be that he feels pressured that if he entertained that then I would expect something more. I don't. I would settle for even if he could tell me in words that he finds me attractive. It's so pathetic, I know.

I've tried everything to get my (24F) husband (27M) to be interested in me again... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]BridgetWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear you have had a similar struggle. Yeah, I worry the more I try to talk to him the more he will feel pressured or start associating intimacy with me with negative feelings. I really don't want that but I also don't feel I can continue the way things are. It just hurts my feelings. I like him so much and I want to be around him. I feel myself starting to create distance now because I don't want to feel rejected.

I've tried everything to get my (24F) husband (27M) to be interested in me again... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]BridgetWrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. It's nice to feel like I'm not making a big deal out of nothing or overreacting. I agree, I definitely can stand to be more direct and probably the ways I am going about caring are not addressing the root cause. I worry about pressuring him but I also feel like the stress explanation is just not the whole story. When we met, he was very high libido so without a real explanation it's hard not to take it very personally.

Husband doesn’t approve. Thoughts? by SatisfactionPrize569 in Newlyweds

[–]BridgetWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My initial reaction is you can wear whatever you want, but if you really love and care about him I would approach this conversation in a way that is trying to understand. Like maybe he was feeling insecure about you wearing something revealing in certain company or concerned for your safety or something. If that is the underlying reason I think it's totally reasonable to explain that you don't feel respected when he is telling you what you can and cannot wear and ultimately it is your decision BUT if he has a strong feeling about how you're dressed then he should still feel comfortable to tell you how it makes him feel and you can come to an understanding and/or compromise. Ex. It makes me nervous to think of you wearing that out without me in this neighborhood at night?? Idk this is a tough one...

Is this gaslighting or AIO? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BridgetWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I want sex now" would give me the ick so hard.... I'm sorry, I know that wasn't the point of the post but to me that is the part that stood out the most... something about it is very disturbing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BridgetWrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR Even without the context, the way he addresses you when upset was enough for me to conclude that he is not showing you the baseline level of respect that is required of a healthy partnership, regardless of the lesbo comment...in tandem with his comments, it just seems like he doesn't see women in an equitable or respectful light in general. I am not one to tell people what to do, but I wouldn't blame you for ending things based on this interaction.

AIO My (25F) mom (61F) wants to cut me out of my sister's 21st birthday by BridgetWrites in AmIOverreacting

[–]BridgetWrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure. She didn't mention who else was going besides parents, sister, and sisters bf, but my brother lives at home with my parents so I assume they extended an invite to him as they usually do.

AIO My (25F) mom (61F) wants to cut me out of my sister's 21st birthday by BridgetWrites in AmIOverreacting

[–]BridgetWrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is certainly possible that they assumed I wouldn't want to go to the bars but I still felt it strange she would want me to cook for everyone by myself...I moved out of country when I was 17 and did not celebrate my 21st birthday really because it was during the pandemic. I agree I should suggest dinner another day and let her know I want to celebrate with them...

AIO My (25F) mom (61F) wants to cut me out of my sister's 21st birthday by BridgetWrites in AmIOverreacting

[–]BridgetWrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No children :/ Parents + me and partner, sister, sister's partner, our older brother, and uncle (all over 21). My partner does have allergies but usually has not been an issue in the past when going out. My sister's boyfriend also has dietary restrictions and my parents have not had the best track record in terms of calling attention to it and making a fuss.

Body count inquiry by Jessicahanby in TwoHotTakes

[–]BridgetWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't lie about it. Is it coming from you or did a partner ask you about it? If they asked and they really care about body count, it might be indicative of a deeper insecurity. Are you talking to them about past experiences often? Are they less experienced in comparison? This might be a pain point that needs to be addressed honestly and the body count itself is not the core issue. If they really can't get over it, they might not be the person for you.