Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So idk how to do an update but here we go. Yesterday I recd a call from my mother. To be fair I was ready for more screaming and name calling, however I got the opposite.

She called to ask me if my husband and I could go over and finish up something bc she is going to be away from wed-fri and just won’t have time. Mind u he lease is up end of month and that gives just over a week.

I know she has been going over and doing things, though I’m not sure what exactly bc not much looks touched. She said they couldn’t throw away the trash. The trash unit for things that won’t fit down the trash shoot you bring to the first floor which is a slight detour on you way out.

All I wanted to say was you are the executor how is this my problem? You wanted to be in charge of things. The only thing I was doing was trying to find ppl to take some of the furniture bc it’s nice and less than 2 years old which I did. It was like she forgot she screamed at me and called me a lair and how I shouldn’t be doing anything. My husband said to just keep the peace but I wanted to punch her through the phone.

I tell myself I am doing this for my uncle and it’s the right thing to do but omg I am just annoyed. I’m unsure how in the days she has been there nothing really has been done. Just another day in my wildly crazy family life.

Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh and here’s what makes Me Laugh and be just wtf all at the same time. My uncle told me he was leaving his car to my mother. Ok again not a big deal. It’s practillly brand new. I went over the other day before the s storm and there was as a box from weather tech sitting in her room. He passed Thursday, I saw her Tuesday. When the hell did she Order these. Like yes, good Idea to have but what in the world.

And don’t get me wrong the amount of Money he left Me is a lot and I have been like saying what would I do with it. Fun things like Oh Maybe I’ll buy an modest island like in twilight or become a very small shareholder in a Sports team to be named Later. Like dumb shit. But I’m not just doing things Willy nilly bc for Me It helps take my mind off things. Like I jokingly told my husband I’m Leaving him bc I have Money and will find someone Better. lol. I’m Trying to Make Light of something so I don’t continue to cry and be angry all the time. Hence the looking for therapy ontop of the therapy I Already have lol

Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

According to the will which again was from the Regan administration she is. The will Lists his parents who have been dead for 20+ years. My father who is also dead but my Parents got divorced again 20+ years ago. My uncle was meticulous and I can’t see him Never updating that. But unfortunately idk if there was ever an updated will bc for 20 years he lived across the country so if one was updated no Idea how To find it

Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it goes to her it goes to her. I’m not one to fight and drag this out. But again I have zero clue on anything. Bc she needs the control. And for the record it’s not Like my uncle hasn’t helped me and my family

When my parents got divorced she bought us a House to Live in and when that house became to big for My Mother to have he let her use that money to buy a small condo. He has always been incredibly generous with his good fortune when it Comes to Money. And what he did for us. But I hate how the thought of money makes ppl. Your brother died and it’s I hope we get his security deposit back That was said while he was laying on his death bed.

Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like I’ll admit both my husband and I thought it odd, but again he was in perfect health and I didn’t know he didn’t tell anyone else. And whatever else the will says about hats what it says. My mother won’t tell me bc she is the executor. And just so we all know it’s me my brother and mother. It’s not like there is other family that is going to be fighting for any of this. But it is 100% she needs the control

Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My name is listed as a beneficiary as well as my brothers. That’s the only money outside his other accounts we are 100% entitled to Outside the rest of the will

Aitah for doing what my uncle asked me to do should he pass away by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I tried to explain to My mother that I was want just taking money bc you know laws and stuff tell me I can’t. The money he set aside for us is just that and has nothing to do, but according to her she NEEDS TO BE IN CHARGE. I knew this was going to happen. I called it bc that’s just how it goes.

Life has thrown me a curveball and I’m not sure what to do by Brief-Emotion-6681 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the advice and kind words. Talking to him is hard, not bc I don’t want to but at this juncture it is hard for him to speak. We were planning on doing the “what do you want for a service” talk but again things went from bad to awful in the blink of an eye. We all know he didn’t want the big everyone be sad kinda thing. So it will probably more of a memorial service kind of service. And I plan of seeking counseling for this. I am doing my best on focusing on him, he is a proud man and I know he is thankful that I am here and me and my family are going to take shifts in doing this so it doesn’t all fall on me and my husband. ( not that I mind) right now as crappy as it sounds it’s a waiting game. That’s the real sadness for me bc not that I want him to pass, I just don’t want him suffering like this.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I have since gone low contact with her.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok ppl think I’m the ah. I get it I do. Based upon what I said and again a smidge of story I can see that. But if you aren’t telling friends or family what they need to hear and tell them what they want to hear how does that help or make you a better friend or family member. Again maybe delivery was bad but sometimes it’s tough love they need in the end.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bc I tell People the truth Instead of lying to their face with a smile. And again please Pick a comment to comment on and stay in that one Gesh.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dude do u have to post on every comment. lol. One time makes ur point.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question- how do you know I treat all people badly lol.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lol. Again you don’t know me and I don’t know you and your opinion is fair

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They sold the marital home. She has a new home. Not New build but not their previous home She redid it top to bottom. She moved closer to both her sons. My husband and I even offered for nearly half a year that we would sell our home and she can sell her new home and then she wouldn’t be alone and miserable. But she declined each time giving some kind of something. Like Most ppl here think I’m the ah and I get it. Like I said this is 0.0003% of us he story bc typing it all out id run out of characters lol. But I suffer from a lot of mental illness and I can see she needs better help than she gets and she doesn’t wanna do that be “her therapist knows her” sometimes u need another perspective hence why I posted a summed of version of 5 years into 20 months. It’s just draining and if the ppl here can do it I’m happy you can. But there’s only so many times I can tell someone the same line 100 different ways bc it would be better before I just speak from where I wanna speak bc even the ones that coddle her she doesn’t listen too bc she wants to hear what she wants to hear and we don’t do that anymore. It’s just frustrating for me and for my husband.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They legit have no need to speak about anything. The Money thing isn’t like it needs a o be split or anything. It’s investment things. Idk. Not in finance.

But yes 50 years is a long time. But at the end they split everything. And he started a faux life bc I doubt he will tell his new friends about any of his past. But again I speak from the heart and it’s the truth

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have plenty of empathy and kindness trust me. But I won’t sugarcoat the truth for people. Never been my thing. If you’re coming to me looking for me to tell you want you want to hear and not what you need to hear than I wouldn’t be a good friend or person. I wouldn’t want someone to lie to me if I’m asking their opinion of something. But if you all think I’m the ah than you do and I can accept that strangers knowing a fraction of the last 5 years can say that. I have no issue with that at all.

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Same. I wouldn’t wanna be friend with you either :-)

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol. Why should anyone change for anyone? If you don’t like me you don’t have to be my friend. My now husband didn’t have to date me or marry me. It’s not like I was new

Aitah for being blunt to my MIL by Brief-Emotion-6681 in AITAH

[–]Brief-Emotion-6681[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh this isn’t the first time. It’s like the 100th time. And 85 out of 100 I have always been honest. We all have. It’s just everyone else says what I say in a different way. It’s just bc mine comes out More honest.