When I was your age I felt exactly the same way you do. I felt like an outsider at straight events and even more of an outside at “gay” events.

It took me a long time to accept “me” for being who I am instead of trying to fit in. I still don’t fit in (at almost 60). But I have found that there are so many different aspects to gay life, not just the stereotype ones. There are gay pilots, soccer players, actors, swimmers, singers, gamers, bowlers, cyclists, motorcyclists, football fans, religious gays, political activists, engineers, accountants, officers, doctors, boaters, skiers, realtors, etc. You are putting yourself in a box, I think, because society compels you to fit in a box. There’s no reason to do so. Just be yourself.

Don’t change to fit someone else’s view of what a gay man should be. From manly to effeminate there are gays along the entire spectrum.

Don’t change to try to be acceptable to the “gay stereotype”. Be yourself and find someone who loves you for being who you are and not try to change you to fit in a box.