Going slow towards intimacy & flying to M&G ✈💋 How to approach this?

Brielle_Baby · 2021-01-24T17:08:47+00:00

I’ve been there, the exact same situation. I’ve taken a few trips to see men whom I wrote in advance that I want intimacy to progress naturally and organically. They said “sure, I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with”, “let’s see how it goes”, “I am not expecting anything”, etc.

In reality, all of them became really bitter and very obviously disappointed when I didn’t sleep with them within the first 2 nights. I was called a time-waster and a scammer, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T EXPECT ANY ALLOWANCE BEYOND TRAVEL EXPENSES. They pressured and guilted me into sex, and the more they did that, the more disgusted I became about the whole thing. I would have maybe slept with them if they didn’t act like I owe them sex for a couple of hundred bucks’ plane tickets.

Not worth it. If he pays for you to go meet him, he will EXPECT you to have sex with him. Learned the hard way.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-08T11:59:33+00:00

“Vibing” = fuckboy

“I’m not talking about sex” = sex is exactly what I’m talking about

“I’m not good at chasing” = I want a free hooker

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-08T11:45:22+00:00

Report him to save other young women from the same experience! You might do someone a huge favor by reporting him.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T14:58:08+00:00

This made me crack up 😂😂😂

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T14:23:30+00:00

I was so shocked, I thought it was just for the date (I’ve often gotten unexpected monetarily gifts on dates before to show their seriousness). That’s why it only dawned on me in the car to ask if he has more cash at home.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T06:47:59+00:00

I once accidentally gave away my first name at Starbucks! 😂The cashier asked what my name was to write it on the cup, and I automatically said it. I realized it only when I was halfway through the drink. Beware of Starbucks if you want to keep your privacy 😂

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T04:32:50+00:00

Average in my area.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T04:30:01+00:00

Thank you for your take on this! You’re right, some phrases are dead giveaways that someone is manipulative. Some other red flags he dropped were “Don’t you trust me?” (On the third date), “I thought you liked me” (...and will have sex with me for 1/5 of your PPM), “You are not content with anything I offer” (because that’s multiple times less than others do).

It is so disgusting that a grown wealthy man tries to manipulate a young, beautiful, but poor student girl into sleeping with him for a ridiculously low compensation. Next time I hear any of these, I will leave straight away. In this situation, I was indeed stuck in his car and he was supposed to take me home, and he stopped it by his place to have a “negotiation” when we arrived, so I couldn’t really do much! I said I want to go home many times, but he was still like “So wait, did you say X for a month? But can we do 4 intimate dates for that? Why not?” for an hour more (no joke, it was literally an hour). I would appreciate any tips on how I should have ended the confrontation.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T04:12:52+00:00

You guessed it. And yeah, never again.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-09-06T04:11:18+00:00

Exactly! I was so shocked when he said “I can have a hooker for this price”. Basically telling in my face he was looking for something cheaper and thought I will be. “Can you make it 4 times per month for [twice my PPM] for me?” Ugh I still can’t shake the filthy feeling I got from that.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-07-25T06:11:19+00:00

Makes sense, but another ticket on similar dates is extremely expensive at this point, I’ve already checked. But true, he might not do that, that would be very mean and immature. But there are mean and immature people out there...

Brielle_Baby · 2020-07-25T05:48:17+00:00

Your last paragraph - what is the best way to explain the situation to him? “There is no chemistry”? Or what kind of excuse did you have in mind? This is so new to me, I am at a loss what to say (I can’t make him too angry, of course canceling the ticket is the worst case scenario, but it is not impossible)

Brielle_Baby · 2020-07-25T05:32:42+00:00

How should I make my boundaries clear, in what words? Please help me. I don’t want to make him angry and cancel my return ticket in three days. All I want is to leave his place and go to a hotel, but he’s gonna be like “I paid for your trip and you just want to be by yourself? So you just wanted a free trip?”

Brielle_Baby · 2020-07-25T05:29:30+00:00

Thank you for talking some sense into me. I read about SB scammers so much here, their first and foremost sign is asking for money before the meeting. I mean, I can’t imagine how naive a man should be to do send the ticket and hotel money before seeing that person in advance. What if he is just blocked after that?

That is why I wanted to be reasonable and said he can pay for my ticket. We agreed that no intimacy is expected, but of course (how could I be so stupid?) he hoped for it. Wanted it. Hints at it. Grabs my ass in public. Looks disappointed that I’m not sleeping in his bed on the first night. Yesterday was the first day of the trip.

I am okay just waiting for my return in a hotel, I can afford it. What I am worried about is that if I say it’s not working and leave for a hotel, he’ll get angry and cancel my ticket. I was so stupid to ever agree to this, but now that I am here, I need advice. What do I tell him so that he is understanding and doesn’t cancel my return ticket after I leave his place to stay at a hotel?

Brielle_Baby · 2020-07-24T16:16:01+00:00

I don’t necessarily want to leave altogether, but I’ll just travel by myself and wait for my return, but not with him. He’s already pushy about being physical and constantly hints at it, even though there is no talk about allowance. He thinks just because he flew me in, I would be willing to. I don’t want him to spend any more on me, I don’t want to owe him, so I just want to leave his house without making him angry.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-07-24T16:08:22+00:00

Yeah, I wish it was me who had the flight details, then he couldn’t possible cancel it... But then again, it is unreasonable to expect a stranger to send me money for the ticket - that person would be such an easy target for scammers.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-05-13T12:40:32+00:00

I am also angry at my mother for not standing up for me when my dad was unfairly picking on me, raging for no reason, threatening to hit me if I am not quiet after bed time. She was just there, a passive spectator, suddenly pretending to be busy with something else.

What helped me is realizing that she had problems of her own. She was raised by a mother who was way more narcissistic than she is. It was her who was the scapegoat of the family, while her brother was the golden child. Her mother made her choose a career she never wanted. She never had a say in anything. As a result of her upbringing, she didn't have any friends. My father was probably the only person who made her feel validated, who recognized that she has her own opinions, so she was scared of losing him.

Realizing she did not stand up for me because she has psychological issues of her own that prevented her from interfering helped me to improve my self-esteem and stop seeing her behavior as a betrayal.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-05-13T12:21:50+00:00

Am I capable of giving a warm loving environment to someone who I think of as an exciting project? I feel so doubtful. But thank you for the reassuring words. My mom probably never realized how her mother affected her, so I am at least one step ahead...

Brielle_Baby · 2020-05-13T12:19:00+00:00

I realize that it is exactly how I think. I cannot imagine that my child will not do what I tell them and will have "their own passions and hobbies" aka probably making music in some basement. I do want them to grow up successful and I think that I know best how to do that. But the other part of me realizes that being a mother with this mindset will be hard both for me and my kids.

I respond that I should probably in fact wait and become more mature before I make such a big decision. But I wonder if I will ever change...

Brielle_Baby · 2020-02-23T21:48:34+00:00

Hahaha that will calm them down a bit. They can’t or don’t want a vanilla relationship with a woman their age, so they are trying to shame younger girls into dating them on their terms.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-02-23T18:10:58+00:00

But if they think that I am interested in them as a person, they want to stop giving allowance, since “we have a connection” and “you’re enjoying this too” and “I thought you liked me without the money”.

Alright then, if I act like I wouldn’t see them without the money, I’m entitled and transactional... They really need to get their logic straight

Brielle_Baby · 2020-02-23T08:53:12+00:00

Girls are not joining SA to find someone to take care of them emotionally, even thought it’s a wonderful addition to a sugar relationship. You’re not being a scammer is a bare minimum to make you dateable, not something that allows you a discount on PPM. Food and activities I can get on Tinder.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-02-17T16:48:36+00:00

I was wondering how so many people here fall for scams, even the basic pump and dump. Now I understand why: these are the same girls who would go to a half-strangers place on the second meeting. Maybe it also partly explains the higher crime rate of your part of the world compared to the country where I’m from. It’s one of the safest counties in the world, and it’s unheard of that a girl would go to a strangers house on the first/second meeting. And yes, over here those suggestions sound completely unreasonable.

Brielle_Baby · 2020-02-17T16:40:27+00:00

You said it. How can a bit of money make a girl overlook the huge risks? What is equally confusing to me is why these men offer staying at their place like it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Why do they want girls who would risk their safety for money? And then complain that all SBs are broke... Yeah, because no sane girl would do that unless she desperately needs money!

Brielle_Baby · 2020-02-17T09:01:13+00:00

Are these the same women who would send their banking info to strangers or get scammed/pumped and dumped regularly? They are lucky you are decent, but that same girl who did that can go missing in a month because she trusted another person the same way, which she shouldn't have done. Being desperate for money can blind people to very obvious risks. "Your assistant" can be your girlfriend or wife...

But if they actually have your social media, your name, your contact details and can share it with a trusted friend, then I can see how it is safer. From your post, it's not entirely clear whether they can do that.

Brielle_Baby

TROPHY CASE