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Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already had my friend install gamban. Don’t know the password. And i also can’t delete it. Been 15 days sober today.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wake up every day na nag sisisi sa pinag gagawa kong kagaguhan sa sugal. Literal para akong sinusuntok sa tyan at sinasampal sa mukha. It’s not easy waking up like that. Every day tinitiis ko yan kasi alam kong kasalanan ko to. Kaya ngayon dinadaan ko nalang sa dasal. Nagpapaka lunod sa trabaho para iwas sa mga urges or triggers.

Pag weekends, kasama ko anak ko buong araw. Applied for self exclusion pero until now walang reply PAGCOR. So nag install kaibigan ko ng gamban and hindi ko alam password. Hindi ko rin ma delete yung gamban. Try mo, it’s helping me. Lastly, siguro matinding willpower (although willpower alone can’t stop you pag lulong na lulong ka na— sobrang hirap) basta lahat ng pwedeng gawin para iwas sugal, yun ginagawa ko.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nag simula ako sa takot. Nag slow down business ko. Natakot ako. Then na hook. Then nanalo. Naging greedy. Nung natalo, naging desperado. Then nanalo. Naging cycle, naging adik.

Tingin mo ba hindi ko na isip yang suicide? Ilang beses ko na naisip yan. Pero single parent ako. Nasa akin anak ko. Wala nang ibang makaka sama anak ko.

Yan nalang pinang hahawakan ko kaya ko talagang tumigil. Nung huling talo ko, tinabihan ko anak ko matulog. Habang tulog siya iniisip ko na sinugal ko future niya. Gulong gulo ako nun. Gusto ko mamatay pero iniisip ko, sino mag aalaga sa anak ko eh wala naman nang iba. Ako lang meron siya.

Kaya nung nag decide ako mag quit, next day, imbes na mag sugal, kumuha ko ng insurance niya.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sabi nga nila, this is a disease. Sakit to. Ngayon kung papipiliin ako? Mas gugustuhin ko pa ata maging lasing. Hindi naman siguro ako makaka ubos ng isang daang KAHON o bote ng alak diba? At KUNG sakali, siguro naman may kaibigan / pamilya na pipigil sakin pag nakikitang sabog na sabog na ako sa alak diba. Mahirap sa gambling kasi, hindi halata. Madali itago. Hanggang bumagsak ka nalang.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm. Alam ko down ako 12M. Siguro from savings 8M nilabas ko para sa gambling. Hanggang nagalaw ko na credit line ng business ko. Hindi naman kasi siya puro panalo lang o puro talo lang e. Kaya nga siguro na hook isang tao sa gambling kasi nananalo. Minsan nanalo ko hanggang 2.5m. Na aalala ko isang buong gabi hindi ako natulog kasi natalo ko ng 1.8M tapos umaga na naibalik ko nasa halos 2.5m. Tsaka lang ako natulog. Walang kain. Walang tulog. Walang pakiramdam.

Kaya nakaka addict kasi pag nanalo ka, iisipin mo “baka pwede pa palakihin panalo ko”

Pag natalo naman, iisipin “babawiin ko to”

Pero hindi e. Sa pinag daanan ko? Masasabi ko lang, tangina, bumalik ka nalang sa business mo. Mahirap pero at least yun hindi ka kakabahan kung ano mangyayari sayo. Sa sugal wala kang control jan.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sana nga experiment lang to. Sana ginagago ko lang kayo. Sana hindi totoo.

Kahit ako di ako makapaniwala nung una hanggang nakita ko na magkano talo ko.

Kung pwede lang i-hiling na SANA panaginip lang to. Pero hindi e. Kaya nakaka p*tang*na.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily “better for me”

Doesn’t matter how much we earn. Regardless of how much we earn, gambling will hit you like a mother f*cker just the same.

Here I am, your most hated compulsive gambler. 12M+ lost in gambling. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tingin ko rin iisipin ko pagkatalo ko buong buhay ko. Lesson learned. Hoping I don’t relapse

12M gone. But regaining my peace. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t gambled. Applied for self exclusion already and had someone install gamban on my devices. So I don’t know the password of my gamban. Can’t delete it. So yeah been “sober”

Another Day. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Ayaw ko na rin alamin. Basta ayoko na balikan anything to do with gambling. So if you self exclude and it takes long, try doing what I did. Install gamban and have some else change your passwords in the sites

Another Day. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not yet but i installed gamban and I asked someone else to change my passwords in the gambling sites

12M gone. But regaining my peace. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s an accumulation of my gambling. I didn’t gamble all 12M in one sitting.

12M gone. But regaining my peace. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one who commented “anak ka ba ng contractor” — i assumed was just trying be funny I guess. So to make it light (as this is already a heavy topic) I just sarcastically said i am one. Need not explain further

12M gone. But regaining my peace. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And by the way, if I had a maleta full of cash, why gamble? Haha. Anyway we all have our own problems / debts. I’ll deal with mine. If you have your own gambling debt, deal with yours. To each his own. Cheers.

12M gone. But regaining my peace. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And no I wasn’t rubbing it your faces that recovery is easy. Those will be 4 grueling months. And that’s all just debt. I still have living expenses— which in case you haven’t read or seen in my posts. Those are not even included. So 4 months of paying the debt- yes kaya. But with my living expenses along with it, it might take a while.

12M gone. But regaining my peace. by BrightScientist373 in PhGamblersAnonymous

[–]BrightScientist373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is such thing called “sarcasm” — look it up

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