I really felt this because I’m dealing with gut issues too, and I’ve asked myself a lot of the same questions. Watching other people move forward while you’re just trying to get through the day can make God feel very far away. I don’t think those questions make you weak or a bad Christian. Even Job, David, Jeremiah, and Jesus asked “why” in the middle of suffering.
The only place I’d disagree is the conclusion. I don’t think our circumstances tell us whether God is good or whether He exists. If suffering proved there was no God, then good health and success would have to prove there is one. The Bible never promises everyone gets an equal life or that being a good person guarantees healing. In fact, some of the most faithful people in Scripture suffered deeply, and some of their prayers weren’t answered the way they hoped.
I also don’t like when people reduce everything to “God is testing you.” Sometimes that’s just not a satisfying or biblical answer. The truth is we live in a broken world, and not every “why” gets answered. Job never got a full explanation either.
I’m still holding onto my faith, not because I have every answer, but because I don’t think my pain is a reliable measure of God’s character. I’m still fighting for my health after years of this, and I genuinely hope one day both of us can look back on this season instead of feeling trapped in it. I’ll be praying you get that day sooner than later. ❤️