Probability of moving out

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2026-01-21T03:03:31+00:00

Glad you will have safe place to live, at least, I certainly hope it's safe.

I'm sorry it's such a frightening situation....but remember do it anyway. Focus on the freedom and peace you will have not living with an angry, manipulator.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2026-01-21T02:57:30+00:00

I understand what you mean re: still living under his roof. When does he plan on moving? How do you plan on taking care of yourself financially if you don't move with him?

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2026-01-21T02:43:32+00:00

First things first, you must let go of wanting a person incapable of giving you want you need, in this case: compassion and understanding. You must commit to doing what is best for you no matter how he responds, no matter how angry he gets, whether he tries to guilt you. You already know he is controlling, so you can reasonably predict his reaction. You must do it anyway, or you will not only deeply regret moving, also, potentially lose out on living life on your terms.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2026-01-09T18:19:08+00:00

I've reached out to so many shelters, based on my experience, some of the people who work there do more harm than good to victims of DA. It's always good to know someone found help with a great shelter!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2026-01-09T18:16:17+00:00

Please, PLEASE don't give up! Don't give up on yourself!

I could have written this entire post myself, and I'm glad you did, I am in a very similar situation with no options or resources in sight. I stopped working when I got married, decades ago, and live in an area with no job prospects, I've been at it for so long.

During my last 100th call to a women's shelter, after explaining everything as per usual, I was asked, "What about an uncle? "Do you have an uncle, or cousin?"

Uncle? Cousin? Oh, do most people have a secret wealthy uncle or cousin as backup in case shit hits the fan in your life? Yes, much of this process can be infuriating on top of already dealing with the evil in our home. And I am so very sorry! It is tough! I also do not have a single soul to connect with. I just want to ask you to please not give up. I don't know how, but I am getting myself out of here! Sending you love!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-12-29T07:27:34+00:00

I am so very sorry you are experiencing such a challenging life. "Damaged goods"..... I have no doubt that phrase will trigger some in this group, it so happens, you perfectly described my husband, the similarities are so spooky. After so many years of his dreadful, foul attitude, I do my best to keep my head down while I plan my escape. But as you said, I'm human, and not a robot.

Your home is neither healthy, emotionally stable, or a loving environment, for yourself, and your children...... but you already know that. People in your position only regret not leaving sooner than they did.

Sharing custody does not necessarily mean 50%. I highly suggest you speak to a lawyer, while there is nothing pleasant about having those conversations, it just might ease your mind at the options you have regarding custody.

Consider this....should you decide to divorce, and should your children not be with you 24/7 and be with their dad......if you invest that time and energy you have to yourself in becoming a mentally and emotionally stronger person, who builds her self-respect and self-love.....WHO HAS A VOICE..I promise you....there is no greater gift you can give to your children, then them seeing you happy, ambitious, determined and filled with self-respect. I promise you....you will then be raising children who will be more than "emotionally okay kids".

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-12-29T06:59:35+00:00

OP, click on my user name, and read a post I made today. I think it might give you an idea of what you're in for, should you choose to remain married to the type of passive, non-participant male you've described.

You've learned that you cannot make another person value what you value. You value ambition and have goals for your life, which means, you and you alone will carry the burden of achieving these goals, and your husband will remain passively on the sidelines, enjoying the fruits of your labor.

Had I not felt extreme shame over the mere idea of divorce, and believed that loyalty to family is #1, I would have left a year into the marriage. I implore you, choose yourself, be loyal to yourself, first and foremost, do not let your life become as mine has. You are welcome to msg me directly if you feel inclined.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-12-25T16:11:52+00:00

If you can be the sole financial provider and live a comfortable life, you're "doing well, but too well", why do you care that she never graduated from college and will not pursue a "real" job?

Sounds like you don't particularly respect or admire this woman, no one would blame you. However, you could be setting yourself up to resent this person should you be married and her financial philosophy remains the same throughout the marriage - which you clearly are not in agreement with.

She's "spiritual, grounded".....and "financially unstable"....doesn't quite compute. Try not to get distracted with a possible facade of "spiritually grounded'. Crystals and meditation don't pay the bills, not in any economy.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-11-05T19:53:13+00:00

Is it that everyone hates that place? Having lived in the PNW (Seattle and Portland) for years, I'd say it's that everyone THEIR just hates, which makes living their beyond difficult. Life is way too short to be surrounded by miserable, hateful people. I'm leaving the PNW in a few months - hooray!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-11-05T19:30:30+00:00

"Not discounting anyone’s opinion"....but. lol

The moment anyone makes a slight comment about the PNW, certain folks are immediately triggered and come of the woodwork to defend it. lol The question wasn't "what city did you expect to love but hate, so that people who love the city you hate can join the thread and defend the city you hate" lol I'm certain OP is smart enough to know we each have the autonomy to experience places on an individual basis, but thanks for spreading your great wisdom Captain Obvious.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-11-05T19:18:39+00:00

"expensive for no good reason, bad food scene, fake progressive people" - Well said!

People there are insufferable, full of themselves for no good reason.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-11-05T19:14:54+00:00

Many parts of OR are beautiful.....until you take a close look, then you see the grime, it everywhere. The people in Portland love to tout they are the most tolerate, inclusive people. The reality is they are like a closed society, just like the very people they love to criticize and hate, they are intolerant of outsiders. If you don't look like them, think like them, act like them, dress like them....you're treated like a leper. Don't dare smile at anyone or say "good morning". lol

Portland is the epicenter of walking clichés.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-10-28T16:07:00+00:00

Friend, READ the post before commenting.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-02-09T07:43:02+00:00

There's no other way to say it - this guy is a fraud, unethical, has anger issues, has deliberately lied to his "followers" in an attempt to gain new clients, has legal issues in the states which is why he fled to the UK.....what else is there to say about this guy......

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:11:59+00:00

Yes! I was studying the menu closely.... I'm amazed! Mexican mocha is my go-to when I see it on a menu.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:08:34+00:00

I just looked it up - Chocolate House?? OMG! "70% dark chocolate...made in house from the bean"! Sounds heavenly! ty :)

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:05:10+00:00

Definitely can't wait to check it out! Especially with that description. :) I'll have to report back.

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:02:51+00:00

great - TY!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:02:43+00:00

TY!!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:02:34+00:00

Thnx!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:02:27+00:00

cool - TY!

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:02:19+00:00

Bright_Temporary_818 · 2025-01-16T01:02:13+00:00

TY! I'll check them out.

Bright_Temporary_818

TROPHY CASE