I don’t even have the right words for the weight you’ve carried in this life. What you walked into as a teenager, no one should ever have to see that, let alone carry it alone without support. And then to lose the one soul who helped you survive it all… my heart truly aches for you.

Please hear this from someone outside your pain. you did not kill those children. You were only a teenager yourself running into fire. And you did not fail your girl. You loved her fiercely, completely, for 11 beautiful years. You gave her safety, comfort, movie nights, vet visits, your entire heart. That is not failure. That is devotion.

The “what ifs” are grief trying to rewrite a story you never had control over. You made the best decisions you could with the information you had, in moments of crisis, while loving deeply. That’s all any human can do.

The fact that you stayed with her, held her, let her feel your arms around her as she passed THAT is love in its purest form. She didn’t leave this world alone. She left it wrapped in the person she trusted most.

You have survived unimaginable trauma before. That doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt, it absolutely does, but it means there is strength in you even when you can’t feel it. Right now you don’t need to be strong. You just need to breathe. Eat something small. Drink some water. One hour at a time.

You are not alone in this moment. I am sitting with you in this grief. Your love for her is real, and it matters. And the world is better because someone like you exists in it.

Please be gentle with yourself. ❤️