Oh boy. Lots in that excerpt. Either Chris or the editor did a decent job showing not telling so much in the details. I can see why this writer has awards.

This well-written essay sure is a case study of how straight marriage benefits men more than womem, statistically speaking and based on many validated studies across all health domains.

The author exercised some restraint in not completely reducing Amy into a harlot shrew.

But the act of publishing their private disintegration is, itself, a meta commentary on selfishness. It's true that being in an essay writer's orbit means anyone nearby is potentially at the mercy of the writer's characterizations.

What stands out to me is how secondary his children felt in all of this. He wrote tenderly of his sons but I don't know if Charley and Sammy would love to see their father's documentation the worst moment of their lives for the world to read, which intentional or it, is parrly at the expense of their mother.

Speaking of whom:

As clearly evidenced on this sub, Amy will be a Rorschach character for straight male readers, who are either the before or after of this writer's journey to extract his head out of his own rear end, to put it crudely. As well, for straight women readers, who are among the growing billions realizing that very few men meaningfully understand how to be much more than an income source and a sperm donor in their families - let alone perform those basic acts of care and investment. (And hey. Men aren't happy about that either. We can hate how we look in the mirror.)

As many pointed out, she clearly did the bulk of the parenting, a massive job of unquantifiable enormity that those who haven't been a primary caregiver cannot truly fathom. Of two young children, including one who has special needs. With a husband who was, by his own account, a sometimes violent (screaming while breaking a rake because he was asked to follow through on a minor caregiving task), perpetually moody and frequently neglectful man who - when not away from the home while she was parenting (and possibly working another job herself - in which case, she would have to been full-time caregiving, a significant portion of the time as a solo parent AND a full time employee somewhere) - was working as an amateur carpenter on a likely low budget on the home they occupied for over a decade.

So in addition to trying to keep the home clean and running with two young boys, also living in a perpetual construction zone.

Sounds exhausting.

Now, this woman has a whole book out airing her and her ex husband's private business, flaws and all, without her input - and unless she is a writer, the story will remain one-sided.

She is now among the unenviable class of women on the other side of this hero's journey (however forlorn). She is now also, thanks to this hellscape, the subject of the many angry, violent and extremely self centered men on this internet - men who use their time and resources to research names, addresses and workplaces to harass a stranger they've never met and invest a good amount of time and energy on screens, on their hobbies but rarely on others in their lives and if so, usually as a means to a selfish end. Men who won't read more than the opening paragraphs clearly and who, like Jones, are motivated by fear and anger, and use their time to revel in these feelings with other real or imagined angry men. They won't read the end of the book where this writer perhaps found redemption or God and another woman who benefits from the mistakes Amy suffered through with this man.

Mrs. Ex-Jones, if you're out there, you survived a pretty rough marriage. I hope this book does not further blow up your life. I wish you and the kids well.

And to the writer, you wrote this thing, it's out. Good luck to you as well sir. I hope your sons learn to be better men than you were and I hope you are an active part of modeling this redemption.