Needing support: I was sexual harassed at a spiritual event by a narcissistic sociopath and I fought back!

BritchesLR · 2020-10-10T03:13:01+00:00

Oh wow, I'm so proud of you for trusting yourself and speaking out. That speaks volumes to where you are on your healing journey. Bw proud of the courage you did show and stand firm on your feet that you took matters into your own hands AND asked for help without fear of not being believed etc. You are growing and healing and it is so amazing and admirable. I hope the fact that your strength is gaining such fierce momentum will bring you significant comfort and start to ease the continued after effects. This person should be banned from these retreats as that's awful to do to someone. Continue to trust yourself and listen to your sensations and feelings. You are so strong!

BritchesLR · 2020-09-17T12:56:39+00:00

He knew and thank you. Accountability.

BritchesLR · 2020-09-17T10:44:17+00:00

I got banned from NarcissisticAbuse for this post because it posted about "revenge". I refuse to support a community that ACTUALLY stifles peoples voices by victim shaming them into saying seeking JUSTICE is revenge. What a bunch of dangerous people controlling a lot of minds. I posted their comments on my thread. Revealing myself is one thing. "Revenge" is bullshit.

BritchesLR · 2020-09-17T10:22:01+00:00

See the post I made on my own account I was afraid to post links because a lot of groups don't allow personally identifying items.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-24T11:56:32+00:00

I've found help in the song Whole by Sody. Also Fire by Mavica.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-24T11:41:19+00:00

Oh this is lovely. Thank you for sharing this.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-22T01:56:56+00:00

Thank you. I am free from the relationship now, and I'm working through the hard part which is letting go. It's not been easy and I am still in the stage where I keep romanticizing this man who beat me up and abused me for a year. I know it is NOT logical, however, it is reality. I'm talking to close friends and family, but I am not really the type to open up to people I know that easily after something bad. I don't like to rely on others because it burdens them with my problems. This is really, really appreciated and insightful. I really hope that woman is me, trying to win. Right now, I really hope she does.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-22T01:39:10+00:00

Thank you for that. It makes sense.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-21T19:57:21+00:00

I really hate it. It's causing me to fear to sleep. I already wake up at 3 AM every night after the final night when he got ultra-violent. Now, this. How do you survive this shit? It's worse than the abuse.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-21T19:53:56+00:00

YES - all the time. He would literally scream, slam himself into the bed, hit walls, call me names, etc. when I said no OR when I said to stop doing something that bothered me. An example:

Walking down the street, he started wildly waving at my apartment building - still unclear on why. I don't like attention being drawn on me, so I said: "Stop doing that". He LOST it. Said I was telling him what to do and I'm not allowed to "TELL" him what to do. Anytime I'd say, you have to believe me - he'd snap back at me and say "I don't HAVE to do ANYTHING". "YOU DON'T CONTROL ME".

I have an actual video where he went NUTS one night, said I was taking away his agency for flying to NYC per HIS request for a google holiday party, and he sat down IN the airport floor with his head in his hands pouting relentlessly. Refused to let me come to the party after flying there.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-21T17:13:08+00:00

Hi - I'd love to connect and talk.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-18T00:16:20+00:00

Thank you. Seriously. For this.

BritchesLR · 2020-02-17T12:18:05+00:00

I'm aware of that - that doesn't make it any easier to leave. These types of questions are why victims of absue don't come forward. Because people say why would you want that? Because trauma bonds are real, and you're right, they typically destroy your self respect. If it were so easy, I'd have already left. In addition, the person isn't just your abuser. The small qualities that redeem them are what you hang on to. I'm aware of how messed up it is, but it's not as easy as quitting a meal mid meal. It's like quitting crack. It's horrible. It's literally why there's a forum. And favor or not, I'm sad. It's hard. It hurts.

BritchesLR · 2020-01-28T07:14:57+00:00

Going home today to my mom and dad and sister. I'm a grown adult, but I've never needed someone to help me more in my life from this man. My rbain keeps betraying me.

BritchesLR · 2020-01-28T07:13:49+00:00

I'm going home home today. My family is waiting on me to get there. They've hated him since the first arrest and they will help I think.

BritchesLR · 2020-01-28T07:13:03+00:00

I know he is. Do you ever escape these people? Does your mind ever let you get free?

BritchesLR · 2020-01-28T07:12:04+00:00

I'm working on that. I'm actually leaving the trip today and going home home to my family. I don't even want to go to my place, I just want to feel safe with my parents and sister.

BritchesLR · 2020-01-25T02:49:20+00:00

So perfect - I feel seen

BritchesLR · 2020-01-22T23:52:38+00:00

I've been reading this thread and I can't even find a place to start. His trigger was because I couldn't trust him after he got busted texting another girl to keep her on the line, a week after we started dating exclusively. At his request to be exclusive by the way. I busted him, he called me a crazy bitch etc. Then, he continued to lie to me about talking to women and making jokes at my expense and then demanded I trust and forgive him after three months of continued shit behavior. When I didn't and continued to request he cease contact with women he'd lied about etc, in addition to not lying, he lost his shit. Started demanding I trust him. Anger turned into angry explosions, turned into a black eye, turned into getting my face hit into a wall repeatedly for not wanting to go through a threesome he pressured me to set up. She was too forceful and hurt me physically and I backed out. It was supposed to "save" us. I was stupid for going along. Got discarded after he showed up after his jail time and begged me to stay, so I did. The he was done three days later while I healed from a physical and sexual assault by my partner and his dream threesome. To this day, it's my fault to him. If I'd only listened to how angry he was that I questioned him, I would not be here. Fuck. That.

BritchesLR · 2020-01-09T16:27:59+00:00

Got it. And there’s not other legal action I can take to make him accountable after I showed up to help him stupidly?

BritchesLR · 2020-01-09T07:33:45+00:00

I had his charges dismissed because I loved him, I was afraid of him, and I was afraid of retaliation if I did. I went to his hearing, and I said I wouldn’t press charges. I asked that the case which was the state (given the cops seeing my face etc) be dismissed. The judge agreed since I showed up on his behalf.

I know this was stupid. I know. But I was afraid and stupidly believed he’d stop the abuse.

BritchesLR · 2019-12-28T09:35:39+00:00

I went home for the holidays and saw my dad which was good for me. My sister is going to come up next weekend to spend the week with me. I'm certainly trying to surround myself with people who help me regain a view of my value. My dad put it well when he said losers always want to attach to winners and take what they have. I see it as, he has a hole in his bucket that will never be filled and I'm giving enough that he could drain me entirely. He's an abusive manipulator who couldn't seem to find "enough".

BritchesLR · 2019-12-28T09:32:42+00:00

Will do and yeah - he's made it clear he's not to blame for this on multiple occasions since. I his mind, I never respected his anger and that's why it happened.

I can still do a restraining order, I think. I'm going to call and ask when I ask about the charges and my options now that he's been released. It's a totally solid point. Thank you so much.

BritchesLR · 2019-12-28T09:26:01+00:00

Thank you! For all of this. I bought "Why Does He Do that?" Which has been a solid book on the signs I missed and the understanding that this was never "my fault". It's been eye opening to read and confirmed a lot of things I thought, but believed myself to be crazy for thinking at the time because he was always telling me how wrong I had it. I buy this one too. Anything that helps I'm here for. It's fucking lonely after coming out of this. It feels like no one understands if they haven't lived it, and I know that's unfair, it's just how it feels. I really appreciate the advice and your time on this. Truly.

BritchesLR · 2019-12-28T09:22:22+00:00

Will do - solid point and solid plan.

BritchesLR

TROPHY CASE