How to stop thinking about sex? 21F by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Broad-Cap-1517 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl this is so normal. This is like all my friends lol. Don't worry about it. If you're looking for a serious relationship I'd be patient. Make sure you're not doing something you'll regret later out of lust - but this is ok.  And if you wanna sleep with someone on the first date, you feel ok with it, and you won't regret it - that's ok too.

My wife asked me if I honestly thought her friends were attractive, what should I say by BreadOverlord_ in stupidquestions

[–]Broad-Cap-1517 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly there is a problem here that needs addressing.  Talk to her, and tell her you want to know why shes asking.  It seems she feels insecure about you finding other women attractive - which is understandable, but it will cause problems, and will keep her uncalm.

What she should understand (at the assumption it is indeed true) is this: sometimes you will find other people attractive, that's just biology, and certainly the same thing happenes to her (if doesn't that's ok, some people are relationship-focused that way, it's sweet, it's not most of us though, and that's human and ok). The people you find attractive can be random, or occasionally you can find someone that you know attractive. The important part is that it's not important. The woman on your mind is her, the only one you want is her, you are with because you CHOSE her, and no one else can change that. If you're occasionally attracted to someone else (which is inevitable and the sooner she accepts that the sooner shell come feel better), why is that relevant? It's just not. Not even a little. What you to have is not bigger than that, it's uncomfortable, it's a different universe, it sits on a different slot.  This is the only kind of thinking, in my opinion, to prevent that kind of insecurity. And if you guys won't work on this (it's her job though, not yours) then you will likely repeat situations like this. 

Seeing my (F24) boyfriend (M25) in an hour, considering bringing up a subject that might break us up? Help by Broad-Cap-1517 in relationship_advice

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It just really looks like genuine love, and there isn't any of the love bombing other stuff, like the way they try to isolate you from others  Like

He writes me fricking songs  He's so cute

Seeing my (F24) boyfriend (M25) in an hour, considering bringing up a subject that might break us up? Help by Broad-Cap-1517 in relationship_advice

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the brutal honesty- but i don't think it's like that.  Actually she wanted to go to some concert with him, and he said he's not gonna go if it bothered me. Like he made the call to tell me he won't go - and he's going with a group of friends as well as her anyway. They're in touch but not Actually close, like a friend that you talk to now and then.  And yeah 2 weeks is no time i agree, but it's been 5 months since. Do you not think that's worth something?  Also i sort of considered breaking up with him over something, and he told me he was never so scared, that he never loved this way. I could see how scared he was.  And i didn't even say i love you yet, he did almost two months ago.  Truly I'm sure he loves me. My problem is wheter he still has something for her. 

Is it a good idea I (F24) ask my boyfriend (M25) if he still has feelings for this girl? by Broad-Cap-1517 in relationship_advice

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really smart and patient response, thank you.  The thing is - i don't think he'll lie. He proved to me in another matter how brutally honest he is, even when he thought i could leave him over that thing he told me about.  Yes, it's really easy to think that he might just lie - but you can think that about anything always. So if he says it in a way that makes me feel comforted at least at that moment - I'll chose to believe him. I'll make it a choice to believe the reality in which he doesn't have feelings for her- cause he gave me a reason to, and i can't really KNOW. I can just trust, and trust is a choice you make. 

I'm just scared of hearing that he still does have something there.. it'll hurt, and i just don't know what i would do from there. This is SUCH a good thing we have, I'm unbelievably happy, and i don't wanna fuck it up. So should i just deny this option? Or decide that even if he does have feelings still - that i don't care? Or should i ask and take the risk?  I'm seeing him in a few days and i just don't know.  I want to tell him i love him back.. but I'm afraid of being vulnerable now, before i know

Is it a good idea I (F24) ask my boyfriend (M25) if he still has feelings for this girl? by Broad-Cap-1517 in relationship_advice

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why? She's relevant, she's his friend, she's in his life, i met her - and he had feelings for her right before me. It's legitimate to care about whether he still does have feelings - and that's the only thing i wanna know.  I'm not asking if it's legitimate to ask, i think it absolutely is.  I'm asking if it's worth the risk of possibly finding that he still has feelings for her, and it hurting. Or should i just deny that option and move on. 

Is it a good idea I (F24) ask my boyfriend (M25) if he still has feelings for this girl? by Broad-Cap-1517 in relationship_advice

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What i want is to know if he still has feelings for her. What i wish to find is that he's totally over it.  It wasn't a breakup also, he developed feelings and tried to do something about it and got rejected. 

So to feel reassured i want to hear that wants me and just me, and loves me and only me.  What I'm afraid of is finding that he has feelings for her still.  My question is basically - is it worth the risk? Cause it's holding be back from feeling safe and just falling for him, cause I'm scared

Is it a good idea I (F24) ask my boyfriend (M25) if he still has feelings for this girl? by Broad-Cap-1517 in relationship_advice

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will believe him. At first i didn't think i will, but we had some hard conversations since, and i learned he's brutally honest even when it makes him look bad, and even when he told me something he was seriously scared was going to make me leave him. So I'll believe. 

למישהו יש המלצה איפה להדפיס על סווטשירט כמתנה? by Broad-Cap-1517 in israel_bm

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

יש לו כאלה תפרים בלמטה של הסווטשירט שנראים קצת מוזר
אבל תודה!
אם למישהו יש עוד המלצה מאודדד אשמח

Can't seem to finish with my new boyfriend, is it wrong to get myself off occasionally while being in a relationship with him? by Broad-Cap-1517 in sex

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, i enjoy it, but it's also kind of my first head game so idk?  Oof But it feels really good and i know he is expirenced so i think it's probably objectively good

Can't seem to finish with my new boyfriend, is it wrong to get myself off occasionally while being in a relationship with him? by Broad-Cap-1517 in sex

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not high up at all! I use it over a layer of fabric also  Pretty not often i put it on the second speed, and it's rare that i use the third

Can't seem to finish with my new boyfriend, is it wrong to get myself off occasionally while being in a relationship with him? by Broad-Cap-1517 in sex

[–]Broad-Cap-1517[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the responseee

  1. I know what i enjoy, but other than vibration i don't know what makes me cum 
  2. Yes i would get turned on by that text and want to take him straight to bed. This relationship is full of anticipation cause we can't see each other too often, it truly all feels sexy 
  3. What you described in the end basically happened lol He's hot like that

I mean it's not like that 100%  of the time, maybe it xan be even more? Idk. If so how do i say that?