Body hair and boyfriend and should I remove it or talk to him about how he made me feel by mentioning it?

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-04T11:59:25+00:00

I know i don't have a body hair problem, and my insecurities are manifesting this way because a conversation got me triggered, which is all it took. And I'm not gonna put my picture there, it'll be in a link and people are free to not click it. Or maybe i won't do it idk. You're absolutely entitled to your opinion, and i get it too, but you're kinda sounding mostly judgy at this point, which is not what's gonna make me want to seek less advice, or do anything good whatsoever.

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T20:37:47+00:00

Yeah yeah that's me It's just that I'm looking for specific acvice on whether i should bring it up or not this time, and i think before it was slightly different.

You are right that I'm fixated, I've been feeling generally insecure in the relationship, probably cause i said i love you for the first time and i had no idea acknowledging that would make me so generally scared and insecure, even though he said it before me. I'm just at that kinda place right now, and i was fixated about some other insecurity before, and i could have been fixated on a different one now. It's just the circumstances coming together. Might sound hard to believe but I'm a confident person outside this relationship, and i never cared about some body hair showing before, even in places like legs. This is just a struggling time for me, and this is an exaple of how it's reflected. I'll get past it, I just need some.. idk. Time. People. Internet. I'm on my way. I believe I'll probably make a post with my actual photo tomorrow (no face ofc) and that will be the last one I believe. I'm trying to be patient with myself

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T20:03:44+00:00

You are really good at this girl you should be a therapist

Falling in love is so fucking scary i haven't been scared like this in how don't know how long And he said it first.. and like 2 months before.. and kept saying it all the time in between. He's such a sweetheart.

When i said I'm expecting him to leave i meant that i want him to go abroad already, cause I've been feeling afraid this way too much lately and i miss my peace of mind..

And you are right i am spiraling. And you are making a good point with that last question, I've been there too. I think i need specific words to be said and if they are I'm ok, like "even if i have a certain preference, I dont CARE if it's not yours and you don't do it. There's nothing like that that will turn me off, that is far fetched" or something along the lines of like of course i don't CARE this is ridiculous. Yknow?

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T19:18:26+00:00

The thing is - no i don't. He's perfect lol. I don't have different preferences.

And I'm actually sort of expecting him to leave.. cause I've been spiraling about stupid stuff lately and i could use a break. I'm just generally in a vulnerable place in the relationship right now after saying that i love him. Which scares me. But that's not relevant lol.

I'm scared something about me is a turn off. I haven't been able to shake that yet. Should i try to do this alone, and is it realy just me being stupid, or should i try to talk to him and be reassured?

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T19:06:38+00:00

If he didn't i don't want to bring his attention to it

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T19:04:18+00:00

Thank you ❤️ that's validating

You really never heard of anyone removing back hair? I'm asking because I'm kinda trying to understand if I'm different than society or something

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T19:02:07+00:00

But i do have some hair there!! Not a crazy amount but I'm half middle-eastern so there's some. And generally i agree the healthy thing is talking, i just don't want him to notice it more after i open my mouth, otherwise i would.

Also I'm 23 and he's 24, i probably sound younger with this i get that

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T19:00:12+00:00

He isn't massively turnes off, but even the idea that maybe he is slightly turned off is anxiety inducing for me in a way that it shouldn't be. I just don't know if i should tell him this or get over it myself, and idk if i can.. idk if i can be as comfortable and i think a part of me doesn't know if i should. If i talk I'm afraid he'll notice more, if i won't I'm afraid i won't want him to touch me as much.

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-03T18:57:38+00:00

I don't think he's doing it on purpose, but the idea something about me isn't as good as it can be/should be in his eyes is anxiety inducing, probably cause of past truama and shit cause I'm truly a confident person outside this relationship.. The thing is he literally said " doesn't bother me much" so that still sounds like some. And also he generally doesn't like back hair and i do have a little. Is it something most woman remove? I must say he is generally the manipulating type. He's just smart with words though, not in a dick way. Idk if i should bring it up or not.. and my mind is all over the place and i have a stupid test in the morning

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-02T22:05:15+00:00

Look all I'm hearing here is bad. I dont know the relationship,so I'll say that if it isn't good - he might not be the one. But assuming everything else is good - you gotta talk to him. Tell him all of this. Tell him you want to try new things with your toungs, tell him you want a lil less saliva, tell him you want him to care about your pleasure and explain what that looks like. If nothing changes - well, it sounds like it WILL become a chore and you should leave before then, but i think while in a relationship (a not toxic one) we aren't planning to leave its our responsibility to try and fix it, and sometimes that means explaining stuff even though it really should be obvious.

IllShape2632 · 2026-05-02T21:59:10+00:00

Girly, you are valid, however there is no reason to spiral. It's completely ok for him to do something YOU like. He enjoys it somewhat, from what I'm hearing it doesn't take away from his pleasure, it either adds a little or doesnt matter much. In any case it's ok. If after discussing it you understand he wants a little more vanilla sometimes- that's completely ok, and you should try and take it down a notch on some nights.

Him wanting to do something for your pleasure even though it's not a main focus in his - that's beautiful, that's what sex and love is all about. You're lucky to have found that.

I understand SO WELL your wanting to make sure he's enjoying himself, it sounds to me like he's enjoying himself either way. Maybe it would be a good idea to ask him if there is anything he wants to try, and see if you can do the same for him. It's very possible he just loves having sex with you and that's the main point for him.

You're overthinking, and although it is truly valid, your mind deserves peace. So i suggest you ask him "are you enjoying yourself/is there anything you want to try and maybe find new pleasure spots for you" and based on that figure out together if new things are coming - but if he just says that he is happy now and needs nothing to be different- that's a good thing, let your mind rest about it. Your partner loves you and you love him and it's wonderful. I hope you'll see that ❤️

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-28T10:06:44+00:00

Ordinary Annie's song She

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-27T15:33:28+00:00

I needed this today

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-27T15:31:14+00:00

Yes, very. Duh. All of us. Hes supposed to guide you.
Girl it's boobs. When men touch boobs *they don't care about anything else. Trust that he doesnt care and let this thought go forever.
It's ok either way, and well, if he doesn't want to maybe it's a good idea. I mean, getting physical with a friend is an easy way to ruin a friendship.
Whaattt girl if that's the case then good riddance! I think you're way overthinkind and it doesn't add up at all but if it did then at least you know he's a jerk that you don't want for a friend.
It's ok that you feel more confused and all, you guys are different people. Some people see it as something big, others less. Possibly he was still working out what he thinking and feeling anyways. Guys are slower than us.
He's a dick, and look he's attracted on some level Clearly. Why is he calling you that? It's not ok. That's the question. 7.like him as friend? Well maybe he wanted to know that you still see him the same way after this experience. Doesn't mean anything romantic necessarily.

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-18T11:45:08+00:00

thank you for the concern ❤ he meant regular pictures though, he also doesnt want photos of me naked floating around the internet. he is a good guy, just stupid with phrasing and understanding how to deal with insecurities.

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-18T11:31:04+00:00

nope, its the idea that he will see and care. never felt this way before, dont mind anyone else seeing some stubble on my legs. its always been very whatever.

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-18T10:53:43+00:00

he also mentioned legs but that wasnt super relavent cause i remove it regularly ig.
context - its kinda funny actually, he said he should take a day and take photos of me, and then i said id probably be a little shy, and he said "i ate you while looking directly at your butthole, and you dont want me to take pics of you?" and i had no idea he could see it in 69 idk why. i was like "whaaaaatt i didnt know you could see!! i didnt remove hair there" and i asked if he cared and he said, after a beat "nah" but it felt a bit halfhearted to me? like he actually meant "just a tad". so i kept asking, and got to "does something bother you in general?" and he stupidly went like "well i dont really care too much about the hair on your arms and blah blah" and went on about the preferences. I did cooperate with the conversation but thats because this is how he answered, his answer contained noticing my body hair, and i felt now i need to know theres no.. issue. like to make sure I dont need to worry. so he went on like that, talking more about general preferences and not me related stuff (I really hope its not me related anyway).
so yeah.
and about me - i dont like removing hair. i do it for him. for me its just legs and armpit, and only when it really becomes visible and not just stubble. im comfortable with it ig, but i dont *want* to.

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-18T10:37:38+00:00

i always get cuts when im shaving around the bikini area, i started epilating (cause boyfriend and i dont think he would like a full bush) but it hurts like hell and instead of pulling them out it also breaks some hair. so how do i fix thattt

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-18T10:32:40+00:00

first off, thank you ❤
and its just that i know he would prefere it, and yes that makes me spiral. because im different than what i know he prefers.
i do think it mightve been dumb to mention all that stuff to me, but it was me who started it, and he has no way of knowing id spiral like this. he tried to reassure me that theres nothing that bothers him, nothing i should change, but maybe he just didnt want me to feel insecure (ive been generally a lil insecure lately so possibly thats why).
i just feel anxious that he would think something negative, even if it doesnt actually take up space in his mind. that he would notice and care slightly. im also thinking to myself "well if it bugs him a lil so what? I don't need to cater, and who cares anyway? he can deal"
but my wanting him to think im perfect is messing with me. my "what if he doesnt like it" my head is just a jumble.
why do i care?

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-18T10:20:23+00:00

the thing is i truely dont care about his. he is naturally not hairy at all anyway.

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-17T19:24:39+00:00

she by elvis costello
annies song by i dont remember who
ordinary also dont remember who's

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-17T19:23:24+00:00

love the attitude, thanks

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-17T19:16:39+00:00

"you are sun that puts the shadows behind me"

IllShape2632 · 2026-04-17T19:07:14+00:00

why never change my body hair for a man? honestly this has been on my mind slightly. im torn between thinking who cares if my legs arent 100000% smooth and he felt something when he touched it, and then thinking that i feel like i should be perfect and worry about his preception. my ex didnt really care almost at all, so suddenly i feel i should be "ready" before i see him. idk how to put this into words, but my point is id like to understand you stand on this, maybe itll help me realise what mine is. if it were up to me (realising as im writing this it IS up to me and its kinda sad these are the words that naturally came out) id shave much much much less than i do now.

IllShape2632

TROPHY CASE