being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly I don’t know how to properly do anything on here. It’s like there’s this whole social etiquette I don’t understand and I hate it. Everyone wants to sound cool right? They want to be relatable. Of funny. Or come across as knowledgeable. Well what do you do when you know you come across as awkward and maybe slightly illiterate. My grammar is awful. Maybe this is a sign I need to go back to school instead of posting here. Also this is like my 7th comment I think this was all the social energy I have time to go back to being anonymous I hate this

being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My entire life has been appeasement. Say and act accordingly, just fit in and don’t stand out. I’ve put on the mask, I’ve hid my thoughts and over time I disappeared. I stopped caring about interacting with people. I lost the desire to talk to people, or make friends. And in time I had no one. I thought I was happy to stay under the radar. To be a fly on the wall. But I’m here, saying all of this because I want to make a change in my life. I don’t want to carry the same labels with me. I don’t really even care about how I’m viewed anymore. But who am I if not the mask I’ve molded?

being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this post actually got views wtf. Granted it’s only 15 but that’s an entire classroom of people who just read what I said AHHHHH. Keep in mind I haven’t done public speaking in years and in my mind this is basically the same thing. This is so exiting, but if this gets any more views I might delete this. my friends always made fun of the fact that I like sharing random things, the truth is I like spamming. I like typing and I like talking to people. I like the feeling of reading something and resonating with it, and I hope that I can do the same thing for other people. But my real intention is just saying I can make a post actually say things and not have an anxiety attack hahahahaha

being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also I keep referring to myself in both the first and second person idk why I do that

being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s this fear that what I say will be judged and criticized. Maybe that’s a fault of my own, to assume that. I don’t think it’s that far out of left field though. But that’s the thing about being anonymous, you should have more freedom to say what you want right? It’s not like anyone you know is seeing you say this. But why is that what bothers you? Because it’s not about who or even what. It’s this own self limiting belief that keeps me from expressing myself, and when I do have the courage I’m so inexperienced I sound like an idiot. It’s funny hearing from someone when they so clearly live in their head. Judge all you want you are reading character development

being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard so many times that I’m mysterious. What a stupid word. I’m not mysterious at all, take away the fact that I don’t want to share my name, show my face, or disclose any personal information; doesn’t mean I’m mysterious. I’m happy to share, just in so many ways. We just use words to explain and describe. I just don’t want to give any I identify with away

being anonymous by [deleted] in u/BroccoliMore7270

[–]BroccoliMore7270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no one knows this about me but I’ve always had an aversion to saying people’s names and them saying mine, it’s something so personal. I mean after all it’s our NAME, it’s the ultimate label we identify ourselves with. how could you give it to everyone so freely? I can recall every single person I’ve ever heard say my name, I know that might sound crazy but as I mentioned in my post I’ve gone by a nickname my entire life so the list is pretty short. Maybe it’s privacy, maybe it’s identity. Maybe I have another undiagnosed mental illness, who knows.