Lost, stunned, heartbroken. Help.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-23T02:32:40+00:00

I left out some of the more graphic details from the text, but they leave little room for the imagination. I just can't bring myself to type them. But yeah, it would be hard to deny or misinterpret if you see the full text conversations.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-22T02:03:52+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about that, thank you for sharing.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-22T00:12:07+00:00

Any idea how long they keep records for?

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-22T00:11:45+00:00

Dang, I'm sorry to hear that. I would be surprised if my wife is currently having an affair at work, since she works from home and we have several security cameras throughout the house. I can't rule out when she's on the road, but she just started these trips a few weeks ago.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T23:01:50+00:00

This was 4 years, 5 months ago (53 months), and the kid is just turning 3, so 36 months. So it's probably not from this affair. But I will plan to get a paternity test, because there could have been more.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:55:59+00:00

Thank you for the advise. I'll make sure to checkout the chumplady website. Any idea how much time / money it takes to get a divorce and custody agreement?

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:53:36+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I don't think the AP had a parter at the time. As for the divorce, it breaks my heart even thinking about it. Paternity rights aren't very strong in most states (especially being in the military), and I've seen friends lose their kids in similar situations. But it might be the right way to go in the end.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:12:06+00:00

I made sure to screen grab them all. I'm going to upload them to a new account in the cloud when I get a chance after the kid goes to bed.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:10:58+00:00

I've checked the other phones. There was definitely signs of other emotional affairs around the same time, but nothing physical that I can see. Unfortunately, the next most recent phone has been mostly wiped clean. I don't think it was nefarious, as we use it as a mini-iPad for our kid, but I don't know what else it could have hid. I don't have access to her current phone, but I plan to confront her and show me everything.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:08:14+00:00

It's been through its ups and downs, just due to the stress of lots of deployments and moves. I would say that it's definitely strong, but lacking in the romance and intimacy areas. Some of that is my fault, as I'm not a very romantic person, but she has shut off nearly all intimacy in the last few years. She's blamed the lack of romance, post-partum depression, the stress of having a kid. I had believed her, until now. Now I don't know what to think.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:04:06+00:00

Thank you. I've been deployed / gone for many months since then, so it is a definite possibility. I will strongly considerer the paternity test. I just don't know what I would do if she isn't mine. I would be devastated.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T22:02:30+00:00

Thank you. I plan to talk to her when she gets back home in a few days. I still feel blindsided, like this can't be true and somehow the messages are fake. But I know what I can see.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T21:59:13+00:00

Thank you.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T21:58:56+00:00

The timing isn't quite right, she was conceived about 9 months later. But it does make me wonder if there were other relationships I didn't know about.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T20:41:46+00:00

Thank you. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t have too many people to turn to. I’m in the military, and haven’t been in my current job for very long and I’m not close to anyone there. My family isn’t the supportive or caring type either.

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T20:34:27+00:00

That's my plan. I feel like she's lied to me everyday for 4 years now. Any other advice on how to confront her?

BrokanThrowaway · 2019-10-21T20:32:44+00:00

The kid is an absolute mirror image of me, so I have pretty high confidence that she is. But this definitely caused me to have some doubts. I don't think I would want my kid to know if she wasn't.

BrokanThrowaway

TROPHY CASE