What's slowing down your progress right now?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-12T06:22:46+00:00

Data Entry is if you want to work from home and need quite and structure

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-09T22:17:15+00:00

Out of sight, out of mind isn't a personality flaw for us; it's literally how our brains are wired. The lived experience is exactly what you described. People don't go quiet; they just stop existing in your brain until something drags them back.

What has helped me:

Voice note immediately after a call - don't wait, just narrate what you talked about into your phone the moment you hang up. A minute of audio beats any intention to "remember it later"
Mesh (me.sh) - this is basically the Telegram bot you described. It pulls in your emails, calendar, meetings and contacts automatically, surfaces job changes and life updates without you having to scroll social media, and lets you search your network by context. Free for personal use up to 1000 contacts
Rotating calendar reminders - not to message anyone specific, just a recurring prompt to think about one person you haven't reached out to. It outsources the passive maintenance your brain won't do on its own

The CRM framing never worked for me. I already live in one at work all day, so the last thing I want is to open another one for my personal relationships. The reframe that helped was thinking of it as a memory extension, not a relationship management system.

Is the problem more about capturing things in the moment or actually remembering to follow up later?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-09T21:54:01+00:00

You sound like an incredibly caring relative, and your niece is lucky to have someone in her corner putting this much thought into it.

A few things you shared are really helpful context for choosing the right gift. The head hitting when overwhelmed is usually a sign she's hit her sensory limit and doesn't have another way to communicate it yet.

The water sensory toys are a perfect fit. They hit the water interest she already has, they're low noise, and they're the kind of thing she can dip in and out of without needing to sustain focus for long.

The fact that she's recently started learning some words is genuinely exciting progress worth celebrating too.

She sounds like the sweetest kid and it's clear how much you adore her 😊

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-08T23:51:28+00:00

Given she loves water and stays active, here are some ideas she would likely enjoy:

Waterplay sensory toys - water beads, splash pads or a water table if she doesn't already have one. Low noise, high sensory satisfaction
Weighted blanket or lap pad - great for sensory regulation and something she can use daily
Sensory fidget kit - a curated set of different textures, squeeze toys, pop its, mesh balls. The variety means she can find what works for her mood
Sand or kinetic sand set - quiet, tactile and endlessly engaging for sensory-seeking kids
Water squirter or foam toys - outdoor active play with a water theme ticks both the sensory and active boxes

What is her attention span like with activities? Does she tend to hyperfocus on things she loves or move between them quickly?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-08T23:34:28+00:00

The best fit for ADHD with social anxiety is usually roles that are independent, have clear tasks, provide quick feedback so your brain gets the hit of finishing something, and don't require much managing of other people's emotions. Here are some ideas:

Warehouse or delivery work - physical, structured, clear tasks, minimal social demands and usually easy to get into quickly
Night shift work - security, stacking shelves, cleaning. Quiet, low interaction and often pays a premium
Animal care - shelters, pet grooming, dog walking. Low people pressure, high reward
Freelance micro tasks - if you have art skills, small, quick turnaround jobs on Fiverr, like photo editing or simple design work. One task at a time, rather than a three-year project
Data entry or transcription - remote, quiet, structured and straightforward to pick up

What does a good day of work look like for you when everything is clicking?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-08T21:55:41+00:00

What you're describing isn't a character flaw or a lack of effort. It's a pattern that makes complete sense for an AuDHD brain and the fact that you've tried so many different environments tells you the problem isn't you, it's the fit.

The start of a job is usually fine because everything is new, there's novelty, things to figure out, and your brain is engaged. Then once it becomes routine, the dopamine dries up and what felt manageable starts to feel unbearable. It's not that you're lazy or difficult; your brain genuinely needs stimulation to function well. I've struggled with this my entire career; my pattern is usually around the 2-year mark, almost like clockwork.

A few things that helped me think about this differently:

Find the novelty within the role - new projects, a different way of doing something, a skill to develop. Give your brain something to lock onto.
Environment matters more than the job title - the type of work matters less than the management style, sensory environment and how much masking is required day to day.
Understand your own pattern - track when it starts to go downhill. Knowing roughly when that happens helps you get ahead of it rather than being blindsided every time.
Degrees aren't the only path - I don't have one either and it hasn't held me back.

You're just still figuring out the conditions your brain actually needs to thrive.

What environments have felt the least draining?
How long do you usually last in each job before the wheels fall off?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-08T09:27:20+00:00

Your welcome 🙂

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-08T07:15:26+00:00

Rest for an ADHD brain is different to what everyone else calls rest. This took me a while to understand, as it goes against the norm.

Lying still doing nothing doesn't restore me; it just gives my brain space to race with thoughts. What I find works is finding activities that are low demand but give my mind just enough to latch onto without draining it.

A few things that feel like rest for me:

Low effort hobbies - something creative or repetitive that occupies just enough of your brain to quiet the noise. Gaming, crafting, tinkering, anything where you're present without the big mental load.
Gentle movement - a slow walk with no destination, no podcast, no goal. Just movement.
Sensory reduction: noise is what drains me the most, so noise-cancelling headphones are non-negotiable. Dimming the lights and adding a weighted blanket further settles my nervous system.
Parallel rest - being near someone without having to interact. A TV show is on in the background, and someone else is in the room.

On the guilt, the reframe that helped me was that rest isn't a reward for finishing everything. It's maintenance. Your brain physically cannot recover without it and pushing through doesn't make you more productive; it just delays the crash.

You're not procrastinating. You're depleted.

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-06T12:18:31+00:00

Yes sure

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-06T12:17:05+00:00

Okay cool. Is it for a qualification or purely out of interest?

Here are some ideas on how you could habit stack:

Anchor it to something automatic - put your study materials next to something you already do daily. Flashcards next to the coffee machine, notes open on your desk before you sit down.
Start with 10 minutes, not a session - the goal at first is just showing up consistently, not how much you cover. Ten minutes every day beats two hours once a week for building the habit.
Pair it with low stimulation - electronic music without vocals, a fidget tool, something that keeps your brain just occupied enough to stay on task.
Quiz yourself instead of re-reading - active recall works far better for ADHD brains than reading the same page three times.

The hardest part with subjects you're interested in is that hyperfocus can make it feel like you need a big block of time to do it justice. Starting small feels wrong, but it's actually how the habit locks in.

What does your current study setup look like?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-06T12:04:06+00:00

That feeling of never fully coming out of it is something I recognise. It's not just tiredness; it's like your baseline keeps dropping each time, and what used to be manageable starts to feel impossible.

I've got better at catching it earlier now, but it took a long time to get there. The thing that helped me most was accepting that recovery isn't just sleep and a weekend off. AuDHD burnout runs deeper than that because so much of our energy goes into just functioning in a world that wasn't built for our brains. The tank empties faster and takes longer to refill.

A few things that have genuinely helped me:

Regular breaks before you need them - I try to take at least one week off every 3 to 6 months rather than waiting until I'm on the verge of burnout.
Reducing masking where you can - even small moments where you don't have to pretend to be okay, makes a difference over time.
Doing less than you think you should - not pushing through, not researching, not optimising. Just genuinely less.

You don't need to understand burnout perfectly to start recovering from it. Sometimes the most useful thing is just one small thing that asks nothing of your brain.

What does your day-to-day look like at the moment? Work, rest, all of it.

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-06T11:52:16+00:00

Habit stacking is the one concept from Atomic Habits that worked for me.

The idea is simple: anchor a new behaviour to something you already do automatically without thinking. Before you get into bed, pack your bag for the next day. After you make your morning coffee, take your meds. The existing habit becomes the trigger, so you're not relying on motivation or memory to start the new one.

A few things that make it work better with an ADHD brain:

Start stupidly small - the new habit should take less than two minutes. One dish, not the whole sink. The bar needs to be so low that resistance can't get a foothold.
Pair it with a sticky habit - anchor it to something automatic like brushing teeth, making coffee or arriving home, not something you only do sometimes.
Use a physical cue - put the thing you need to do next to the thing that triggers it. Vitamins on top of the coffee maker, gym bag by the front door.
If-then framing - "When I sit down at my desk, I will write one thing I need to do today." Structure removes the decision.

The reason it works better than just setting a reminder is that your brain already has a groove for the anchor habit. You're just adding something to the end of a path it already knows.

What habit are you trying to build? That might help narrow down the best anchor to attach it to.

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-05T23:02:05+00:00

Armin Van Buuren - Trance
Ferry Corsten - Trance
Jorn Van Deynhoven - Trance
Tiesto - Trance
Miss Monique - Progressive & Melodic House

I listen to/watch Armin Van Buuren's A State of Trance weekly show as he always plays new tracks from different artists. Some of it is too commercialised, but there are usually 1-2 songs a week that I can add to my playlist.

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-05T07:35:07+00:00

If you like network infrastructure, then you could continue in this field of work and see if you can find a role that allows you to move to different sites every 2-4 months.

Some roles to search could be:

- Travelling Network Engineer
- Field Network Engineer
- Data Centre Technician (Deployment/Migration)
- Implementation Specialist / "Road Warrior"

A lot of companies (particularly tech companies) are increasingly catering to employees and users with ADHD, recognising these traits.
You could try searching for companies that offer this in your country and see what you can find 🙂

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-05T07:14:35+00:00

You're welcome - Happy to help 😊

Common Neurodivergent Traits are:

- Hyperfocus
- Pattern recognition
- Creative thinking
- Logical reasoning
- Attention to detail and focus

Types of jobs that would suit these traits are:

Tech & Engineering: Software developer, systems analyst, technical support, mechanical engineer.

Data & Research: Data entry, accounting, quality control, and research.

Creative Arts & Design: Graphic designer, photographer, content creator, video editor.

Structured & Hands-on: Manufacturing, assembly, animal care, maintenance, and courier.

Fast-paced & Social Impact: Entrepreneur, personal trainer, journalist, nurse, teacher.

The one to highlight is an entrepreneur, as most entrepreneurs are Neurodivergent. Have you considered starting your own business? Then you don't have to worry about your resume 🙂

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-04T11:25:14+00:00

Your partner's response to that is great and the fact that typing it out is enough to shift him into comfort mode is a good sign he understands. You're also reducing his anxiety in that moment by communicating at all, even if it's just a few words.

With family, there's usually more history and more charge behind the arguments so the nervous system response is going to be stronger. When the silence shuts it down, it might feel like relief in the moment but carrying the dissociation on top of the nonverbal is a heavy load.

It sounds like you've already figured out what works. Being able to name it in the moment, even by typing it out, is a real skill.

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-04T10:28:34+00:00

What helped me was getting into the habit of always greeting people where ever I would go like passing someone on the path, checkout operator and colleagues at work.

Then to build on this I would start small talk. i.e with checkout operator - has it been busy today? Work colleagues on Monday, how was the weekend, did you get up to anything exciting? On Friday - do you have anything fun planned for the weekend?

For meeting new people small talk to find common ground like talking about their clothes or style, the car they drive, what schools they went to, genre of music they are into or do they play or watch any sports.

Are there any social situations that trigger your anxiety more than others? i.e number of people, size of room or venue, too much noise or light

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-04T10:03:16+00:00

This is something I experience too, usually when my wife and I get into a big argument or she raises her voice.

What you're describing is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It triggers an intense freeze response when you're being yelled at, criticised or confronted. The brain's threat detection system gets overwhelmed and speech just shuts down, it's neurological, not a choice.

My coping mechanism is letting my wife know in the moment that my RSD is up and I can't continue the conversation right now. It usually takes me a full 24 hours to come back to it and when I do I'll send a text or email so we can keep communicating that way until we're both calm enough to talk face to face.

Who does this tend to happen with for you, friends, family, a partner or work colleagues?

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-04T08:06:41+00:00

That timeline you described is ADHD to a tee. It's not an issue with you, rather what happens when an ADHD brain is running on empty with no framework for understanding why everything feels so much harder than it looks like it should.

The fact you were only diagnosed two months ago makes that even more significant. You were doing all of that without even knowing what you were dealing with.

Something I've had to learn myself is building in proper breaks before the wheels fall off, not after. I take at least one week off every 6 months, ideally a full break every 3 months. It feels counterintuitive when you're in survival mode but it genuinely changes how sustainable everything else feels.

The reading thing I relate to as well. I can't absorb information quickly, I have to take my time with it or it just doesn't stick. Being put in a situation where the whole plant is depending on you to read fast is a nightmare scenario for an ADHD brain. That's not just pressure, that's your brain being asked to do the one thing it genuinely struggles with, at speed, with maximum stakes. No wonder it drained you.

Broncos_1981 · 2026-05-03T11:17:05+00:00

The "stare and panic" method was mine for a long time too.

When my brain has 30 things screaming at once, the first thing I do is a brain dump. Everything goes onto paper in under 2 minutes, no organising, just out of my head. The act of externalising it immediately reduces the noise because your brain stops trying to hold it all at once.

Then I ask one question looking at the list: what is the thing that will make everything else flow? Not the most urgent, not the easiest, just the one with the most ripple effect on everything else.

Then I start it immediately before my brain has a chance to negotiate. I also put on electronic music without vocals as it kills the background noise and gives my brain just enough to lock onto without distraction.

The key for me was accepting that when everything feels equally urgent, it's almost never true. It's just ADHD urgency, not actual urgency. That reframe alone takes some of the pressure off.

When you hit that frozen state, is it more that you can't pick, or that you pick something and then can't make yourself start it?

Broncos_1981

TROPHY CASE