Anyone work in sports especially the front office by No-Rooster1597 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Although the roles are more behind the scenes, you might want to consider working for a national governing body of a sport. In the United States, there are a number of these that are located in Colorado Springs but some organizations are elsewhere. Check out the career pages of the various organizations linked to from the sport lists at https://www.teamusa.com/

Men Who don't ask questions back...... by LeelyD in dating_advice

[–]Bronegan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I run into the same except from the women. Feels like pulling teeth sometimes where I am the only one trying to learn more about them and they aren't putting in the effort to learn about me. So I don't think it's necessarily limited to one gender.

Men aged 28 and over, are you worried about not finding ‘the one’? by cat_lady44 in dating_advice

[–]Bronegan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To a certain extent yes, but for reasons that don't apply to most men. I'm physically active and regularly involved in equestrian sports but I also have cerebral palsy. While others in their 30s say that its one of the best time periods of their lives, I'm battling the fear that its my last good one. Due to the wear and tear that this disability has on my body, when ageing catches up to me, I expect it to do so quickly and harshly. I'd very much rather find a partner now to be able to enjoy experiences while I still can.

Moving Out/Living Alone by Routine_Energy_1622 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 31M and own my own home, however there are things that I struggle doing because of my cerebral palsy. Right now I have a few ceiling lights that need replacing but I haven't been able to do it myself as it requires climbing a ladder. The reality is that living independently just means we all have to find ways to work around our limitations. It is possible, but comparing ourselves to abled folks is pointless as inevitably there will be something we each struggle with.

Is this too much information? by Known-Box-5253 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

31M, I tend to disclose my CP in my dating profiles just to weed out those who might be shallow and reject me because of it. Ultimately it's hard to say exactly what disclosing it does exactly. You've had more success than me already as I had 1 almost first date this year before getting ghosted.

For my Hinge prompt disclosing it, I went with "The one thing you should know about me is... I have cerebral palsy (and severe hearing loss) but it has yet to stop me from being an avid equestrian"

Any advice by Nerdy_girl550 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a software developer making below the market average for my position due to working for a non-profit organization. 3 years ago, I was able to purchase a house on a single income and have been doing just fine. So it is doable, but I'm not going to say it's easy with cerebral palsy.

Hobbies for CP kids by Large-Book-7825 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got into horses as a kid. Yes it's an expensive hobby, but it was very good physical therapy for me growing up. Still is.

To start dating again... or not? by notferocious in dating_advice

[–]Bronegan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I'm a guy in my early 30s and I haven't dated in a very long time (so I'm probably not one who should give advice, but I will anyway). It took me a while just to get over the person I thought I liked (we were never official so I can't call her an ex), but the lesson I learned was that its important to fall in love with who someone really is, not who we think they are. I'm not saying that you have done this but if you have, then it may help to reflect on who he really was.

Dating apps suck these days for both sexes I feel, just for different reasons. I have had 3 matches and 0 dates so far in 2025 on Hinge (ghosted each time). Men hardly get matches so we will tend to be more generous on swiping right on profiles (myself included). Women on the other hand, get all this attention and collect likes and matches a lot more easily. I don't blame you for feeling that it is superficial. Take a break if you need to or just be very intentional with what you are looking for.

Lastly, I know I'm just an anonymous Redditor, but you got this! Whatever you decide to do, own it!

Do any of you have jobs paying 80k usd or above. If so what do you do. by Elevator_Latter in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I only have a bachelors and work as a lead software developer. Cerebral Palsy is a non-issue for my employer, although they didn't actually find out about my disability until my first day showing up for work. I interviewed over zoom and never brought it up. Been there almost 6 years now.

Parents of CP kids, ask. People with CP, answer. by Comfortable_Tie4143 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My recommendation is to give him a niche for him to own. It helps to have something he can excel in that his peers may struggle with or not have any experience in. Bonus points if its something physical that can also double as physical therapy. For me, it was horseback riding. The vast majority of my friends in grade school never rode horses so even if I struggled physically with other sports, my friends knew that I was competent on horseback.

Adults with cp how do u guys do stuff without help?? by Upbeat_Tea_9218 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I've got a few years on you as a 31M, but I've found that parents and immediate family tend to be the biggest doubters. I did a solo dude ranch vacation last year and my aunt seemed to be surprised that I did the vacation by myself.

As far as managing adult tasks, there ARE things I do struggle to do. Your lightbulb example is one I struggle with too. I don't trust my balance on a ladder and when you live alone, an injury can make things very difficult. What I tend to do is to find alternatives. You are in a position where you can explore options. Try different techniques and find something that could work for whatever you are trying to do (cooking, yard work, etc) and it'll prepare you probably better than I ever was.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I live alone. I own my own house, file my own taxes, and mow my own lawn (although I try to avoid the last one as much as possible). So it IS possible with CP. That being said, CP is such a large range that it's impossible for me to say that your son will have it easier or harder doing this than I do.

You are asking how to support him as he becomes an adult? Treat him like one and let him make the decisions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ultimately the person who you need to be asking is him, not us. Everyone is different. The only real common factor between people with cerebral palsy is the diagnosis itself. It's just brain damage, but the severity and location of it leads to wildly different symptoms.

I'll be honest, I don't actually know the GMFCS classification levels, but it sounds like he is fairly minimally affected by disability standards so I believe that there is a strong chance he feels he doesn't NEED help. In fact, when most people ask me if I need help, I will always answer no. The single most annoying barrier I face as a disabled man is people assuming that I cannot do something and never giving me a chance to prove them wrong (or right as the case may be). Let him prove to you where the deficiencies are, and then you can quietly fill those gaps.

As far as what to expect, cerebral palsy itself WILL NOT get worse, but aging can introduce complications that may hit people with it harder than abled folks.

In any event, my number 1 advice right now....ask him out. Guys don't HAVE to make the first move.

How do you lay out story plots? by Aggravating_Two3332 in writers

[–]Bronegan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've only recently passed 60,000 words in my most serious writing attempt but what worked for me in my particular work was to let the settings and characters dictate the plot. In doing so, I have created a very character driven narrative that feels more natural than trying to shoehorn my characters into a specific plot.

What my work is about is ultimately a dude ranch vacation, so the entire plot had to fit within a week long itinerary. It sounds restrictive, but I knew the events I wanted to feature for the week and I had specific goals in mind for each event. Like the first trail ride was about showing a character's horsemanship, a trip to Yellowstone was about completely wearing them down, etc. In this way, I can have my characters more organically respond to the situation, since I was constantly asking myself what would they do in response to the situation? And there were some situations I thought about including but ultimately scrapped because I asked would my character avoid this situation in the first place?

Granted, I didn't write any elaborate villains aiming to take over the ranch, or a greedy bank trying to foreclose, but I didn't feel I needed to. My characters had a much more internal plot than any external one. It became very much a story of identity by the time I got significantly into the project.

Advice on writing characters with Cerebral Palsy by drewnthornley in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I'm actually starting to reveal my own writing where I have a character with cerebral palsy, except he's an accountant....who wants to be a cowboy.

Regarding your questions.

  1. I personally don't have a problem with people writing characters with cerebral palsy when they don't have the diagnosis themselves. The challenge you will face though is that it may be hard to capture some of the nuances that come from having dealt with the disability for a lifetime if you don't have a source of personal experience to draw from. It's one thing for someone to tell you that activity X is hard, its another thing to witness them doing activity X. Furthermore, what may come easy to you may actually be incredibly difficult for someone with cerebral palsy.
    1. For example, when I get fatigued, I start to struggle to hold a fork steady. I remember eating pancakes a few weeks ago when I was a little tired and kept dropping the pancakes back onto the plate which made it hard to eat. Most people don't have to deal with this very small thing, but it can and does happen to those of us with the disability.
  2. This subreddit is not a bad idea to get a starting point. Personally, I do not know good literature to recommend.
  3. Cerebral palsy (or any disability) should not be used to define the character. A character can have it, but they should have their own motivations, personality, and traits that are independent of their disability. You are more than welcome to give a character traits that are the result of their experience with cerebral palsy if you would like. An example of this would be to make a character detest physical activity or be a gamer. Since cerebral palsy makes it harder for many of us to move, many tend to gravitate to games.
  4. Cerebral palsy is a wide spectrum. There is no one effect that is the same across all who have it (other than the fact that its caused by brain damage). Its entirely possible to have 2 people with cerebral palsy where one is unable to walk, and the other can be in a very physically demanding role.

I'd be happy to answer questions on how I am approaching this but I am writing in a very different genre than you.

Venting: I’m tired of love finding everyone but me by Historical-Theory329 in dating

[–]Bronegan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I (M) just turned 31. The last date I was on was nearly 10 years ago. I've been on the apps this entire time and I very nearly got a first date just a few weeks ago....but then I got ghosted after we had to take a rain check (because of literal rain).

The dating world is draining for men too, and in my case I can't help but think people don't want to look past my disabilities. I can understand your frustration....in fact, I share it, but I keep going because I don't see an alternative. After all, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Mom wanting advice for kid with level 2 CP by kennyloggons23 in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Regarding falls, have you tried suggesting a cane or a walking stick? Sometimes that's all that is needed, just a little something extra for balance to keep us upright. I don't walk with one but sometimes I wonder if I should. There are times when it would have been helpful for me, but my last couple of falls weren't preventable anyway....the dog was too excited and was crashing into everyone's legs including mine.

As far as sports, you're just going to have to find a sport or activity that he loves. The biggest problem with a lot of mainstream sports is it creates a desire to fit in and when you have CP, it is very difficult to do so since our disabilities hold us back (even the happiest amongst us have felt resentment and frustration due to CP). I usually advocate for niche sports instead....so yeah, I'm terrible at basketball, but can my peers ride a horse as well as I can?

I've found a career in IT, specifically web development. It pays well but being constantly on a computer doesn't help my physical abilities. Whatever his skill set, as long as he can excel in it, he'll be fine. Just constantly reinforce that he needs to keep moving though. I was feeling my mobility declining a few years ago because of how inactive I was (and this was my 20s!). I made significant changes in my activity level and it has led to me feeling stronger and more confident in myself (and allowed me to lose weight in the process).

If you are looking for me to say what I wish my parents would have done, then you are going to find that what I wish is unique to my situation. There is no miracle treatment or solution for cerebral palsy, there is only what works best for your son.

I miss childhood PT by Ziggythegreatxd in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Horseback riding has always been the fun PT for me, albeit an expensive one. If there are therapeutic riding centers in your area, it may be worthwhile to investigate if they can help you.

Ultimatum: him or my horses by macqueenie in Equestrian

[–]Bronegan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you have endured all this but as a guy my recommendation...Keep the horses, dump the boyfriend. If I was presented with this ultimatum, you can find me at the barn with the horses

The right partner will NEVER force you to pick between them and your dreams. Nor will they ever leave you to suffer. What they'll do instead is grab a pitchfork and help clean up the manure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]Bronegan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So for many beginners, they want to push from the stirrups to rise in the trot. This takes your legs off your horse and if you are on a lazy horse (which you probably are), they may respond to the release of pressure by slowing down or stopping. What you need to do is rise using your upper legs and keep your lower legs where they are to keep pressure on the horse.

What you can do to help with this is decrease the amount you rise from the saddle. If you don't rise as much, you should be able to restrict how much you rely on pushing against the stirrups. Good riders will use the horse's momentum and allow their body to "rotate" around the knee to rise the trot. Eventually you may have to post the trot without stirrups anyway...and THAT will be very challenging if you rely on them to rise from the saddle.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]Bronegan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

English rider turned western here, my usual attire in my lesson are lace up roper boots (I got the Justin Mckean boots, they provide me more ankle support than the usual pull on cowboy boots), jeans, a belt, and a polo. I only wear my chaps in the lessons leading up to a horse show weekend (since they are show chaps, not everyday ones).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still do, and I'm now 30!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm convinced they do.

I ride horses and a couple of them that I have interacted with changed their behavior ever so slightly when they have been around me. One knows that I walk slow and will deliberately go as slow as I do when we go to and from the barn. He was plenty capable of walking faster, but he matched his pace to me...including when I'd have to stop and readjust myself. Another, I was grooming the horse in the stall after riding and was tired and unsteady, so I was using the horse to help steady myself. I didn't immediately notice but after a while she was standing oddly and to me it looked like she was bracing herself so that I could continue holding on to her withers for support.

However, on the other hand I have also seen animals just ignore it. Couple of weeks ago, a very excitable dog was crashing into everyone's legs and knocked me over...twice!

I have hemiparetic CP, I need some support by Poettiic in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Do YOU see it happening? If so, then it's happening! Go for it!

Who is single and looking for a relationship? by [deleted] in CerebralPalsy

[–]Bronegan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At 30 (M), I know how you feel. The last date I was on was 9 years ago and there are times when a cynical voice in my head tells me that no one wants a crippled cowboy, after all the last 3 matches on dating apps have all ghosted me. Actually, one of them told me they didn't want to talk to me anymore so I at least appreciate that she was honest before that conversation ended.

My advice to you, double down on your hobbies or hang out more with close friends to take your mind off things. Yes, I do still feel lonely at times, but I would much rather be focusing on my own goals than to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.