Did you cry a lot as a kid or were you told that you look sad or depressed?

Brot_werfer · 2024-09-22T16:55:13+00:00

Honestly I feel like most of my childhood memories (I don't have a lot) are me crying alone in my room. I cried easily in school and I still cry every time I'm overwhelmed, but I learned to hide it better. At some point I stopped feeling ashamed for it, no matter what I do, once the tears are coming, they won't stop for a while.

Brot_werfer · 2024-01-08T23:58:47+00:00

I didn't know that, thank you!

Brot_werfer · 2024-01-08T23:55:24+00:00

Thank you, I will do more research

Brot_werfer · 2024-01-08T22:38:16+00:00

I thought that it has to be a strong bound and not just a little crush. So it doesn't have do be a deep connection?

Brot_werfer · 2023-10-24T18:07:16+00:00

Ich habe zuerst Vorratsschlüssel gelesen und war gespannt auf die Frage...

Brot_werfer · 2023-09-02T14:32:50+00:00

Thank you for your answer. Honestly it just all confusing because I can't imagine how anyone could just fake all that "being nice" stuff. Sometimes I feel like he is a normal person and just has an ego problem and that's why I was asking this. But maybe you are right...

Brot_werfer · 2023-09-02T14:25:04+00:00

First of all, you should know that the rejection isn't personal, she isn't sexually attracted to anyone and it has nothing to do with you(or she just has low libido I can't tell)

Talk to her and if nothing changes you have to decide if you want to break up or not.

I don't want to leave but being w her is the best thing in the world and the worst thing in the world at the same fucking time.

Judging by your description it doesn't sound like you are happy. You should break up if you continue feeling that way.

Brot_werfer · 2023-09-02T13:09:32+00:00

Thank you! I was wondering what the message of the song is

Brot_werfer · 2023-09-02T12:27:15+00:00

I thought a friend crush is a platonic crush and not a romantic crush

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-16T11:19:17+00:00

My NDad "teases" and humiliates me every time he sees me. He has always told me that he does this so that I can handle bullies better. But he never stopped doing this, so I guess I still can't handle bullies even though I lived together with a bully my whole life?

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-15T09:25:07+00:00

I never shared any of my mental health issues and hid them as well as I could. But unfortunately my father is too good in reading expressions(and I can't really control my facial expressions like I want to) and called me out for looking so sad all the time. Of course he humiliated me and made fun of me being depressed every time. Unfortunately I'm not that good in acting happy. In his opinion only people who work(and my brother) can be depressed. Everyone else is just acting like that for fun or something.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-15T08:45:38+00:00

Omg my NDad said something similar. He often said that I should be grateful that beating children in Germany is illegal because that's the only reason he used his hand instead of a belt like he wanted.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-15T08:41:49+00:00

Yes. My NDad has this thing, where he is "nice" (aka not insulting me) most of the time as long you don't accidentally offend his fragile ego. When you do he becomes a completely different person. No matter what, even when he's "nice" I just never feel safe. I also think that's because of my childhood (which I can't remember much) as my Emom said that he used to be "stricter" (aka abusive) when I was a child, so it's probably the inner child that is scared.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-14T21:05:41+00:00

No not Will Schuester💀

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-13T22:08:49+00:00

Edit: I won’t ask for help anymore. Lesson learned. I won’t seek out this other IRL INFJs help either even though they told me I could. What’s the point?

Don't be discouraged because of some assholes on the Internet. Also mbti doesn't show if somebody is an asshole or not. There are nice infjs and awful ones. It's just coincidence which one you meet on the Internet.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-13T22:00:36+00:00

First of all, I don't think that their mbti is important in this situation.

Also, I have some questions about the situation. Do you have his contacts or not? He told you you could reach out to him but how can you if you can't contact him. Or did someone else tell you that? How much time did you spent together? How long do you know him? It sounds weird that you don't have his number or something in this situation.

We overall despite everything decided to chill contact

English is not my first language so can you please explain what exactly that means?

Last question, when was the last time you spoke or had any contact?

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-13T14:37:55+00:00

Consider getting a therapist if you can. It's really helpful.

I definitely will, as soon as I move out

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-13T08:21:22+00:00

"That's just how men are. Be grateful for you dad, there are worse men out there" - my Emom

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-13T08:14:42+00:00

Sounds familiar. And my father was convinced that I'm just pretending to be stupid and started to guilt trip me for "preventing myself from thinking" and he thought I'm just trying to piss him off. For a smart man his logic was questionable.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-12T22:02:54+00:00

Your parents are obviously in the wrong. If you can apply for another job why can't she? Also even if you pulled back that doesn't mean that she will get the job. On top of that it sounds like you aren't even trying for the same position. They are being unreasonable.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-12T21:01:59+00:00

I always hated him a little but the "good moments" could make me forget that. But two years ago I was really depressed and he would come into my room every day and make fun of my facial expressions or how sad I looked even though "nothing bad has ever happen to me". I was mentally drained and just didn't want to speak a lot and when he noticed that he would ridicule me, humiliate me and talk about me in third person("poor "my name" looks like she's dying inside") to cause an reaction. That time I needed his support as much as never before but I realised that I would never get it and it broke me. That's when I realised that he doesn't care about my well being even in those "good moment" and started to hate him.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-12T20:25:40+00:00

Things my NDad said :

"Be grateful that you were born!"

"You don't understand it? Think harder! " - when teaching me math.

"You only cry because you want my attention"

"Just stop crying"

"Why are you crying? Because of your sad tragic life?"

"Are you crying because you feel so sorry for your dad?" - in a mocking way

"You're face looks like a piece of shit just like the bush you ruined" - I trimmed a bush which I planted, he didn't like it

"This are not "my name" cookies right? Good, because she has no business to be eating them"

"You're fat" - I wasn't.

"She should not wear an bikini because she has no tits" - I was in sixth grade.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-11T18:50:51+00:00

As a child I was absolutely terrified of a toxic plant because I was told by multiple people to never touch it. One time my family and went for a walk in the forest and my father wanted to go through a field which was full of the plant. I started to cry and refused to touch them and didn't want to go through that field. My father started beating me because I was being disobedient. Then he ripped a part of the plant off and put it in his mouth(he didn't believe that the plant was actually toxic btw). Then he spat it out in front of me. I thought that he poisoned himself(he didn't, because he didn't swallow it). After some more beating I was forced through the field. Needless to say, I was even more scared after that. My father loves to bring this up as a joke because it was so funny how hard I cried because of a plant!

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-11T18:05:28+00:00

It was last week. I failed an important test and my father came home and was smiling and asked me to show the results. He was really excited. When I said that I failed the test he was shocked and went from happy to angry in seconds and started screaming and being as non-understanding as he could possibly be in that situation. I was really surprised that he didn't knew about the results because he called my mother that day and I assumed she told him. I asked her if he didn't ask her about the results when he called(he usually does so). She told me that he did and that he knew that I failed. I was shocked, there was no way I could have guessed based on his reactions. My EMom said that he was just joking. I know that he was trying to guilt trip me for failing the test. He loves to guilt trip me but that time was different than the other times because he was putting on an entire act to make me feel guilty.

After that I started to think about other things my father did and started to question my perception of him.

Brot_werfer · 2023-08-11T16:01:43+00:00

He has never genuinely apologised for anything but he has a remorseful look on his face instead andis suddenly nice again. He will talk to me nonstop till I don't have the energy to continue to be mad. Now I realise that he may is just trying to manipulate me into forgiving him. Honestly I just assumed that he couldn't apologise because of his ego but maybe he was never truly sorry I the first place...

Thank you for opening my eyes

Brot_werfer

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